UPDATED at bottom! Help please ladies! Need suggestions re: E-party Gift

My 'longest' friend - we've known each other since we're 4, is 21. She met a guy, dated for 8 months, and he proposed. They're having an e-party @ the Meadow Club on Sunday, and I don't know what to give.

They're planning a July/August 2006 weddings, and they purposely didn't register anywhere yet because they want monetary e-gifts. The couple is currently living in 2 separate cities b/c they're still in college.

My dilemma is that I don't know how much to give. FH and my plates will cost her about $80, but her parents are paying for everything. I already know that I'm a bridesmaid, so I think that changes things too. This girl comes from money, and I, unfortunately, don't have much. Both my FH and my mother feel $100 is appropriate...is that cheap?!

What would you ladies do?
TIA!

Not cheap at all! I had my e-party over 2 years ago at a hotel and our average gift from our AUNTS and UNCLES was $100.

We had one Bridesmaid and her then Boyfriend give us $80. My MOH gave $150 from her and her husband (also a groomsman), but my other MOH gave $50.

I thought that these were all generous gifts!

Hi!

I can tell you that I had my e-party a month ago and the average gift was $150-200 a couple. This is also what my FH and I give when going to an e-party. I guess we give this amount because we figure it covers the plate amount and a little more.

Good luck and have fun at the party!

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Posted by Tivogliobene

Hi!

I can tell you that I had my e-party a month ago and the average gift was $150-200 a couple. This is also what my FH and I give when going to an e-party. I guess we give this amount because we figure it covers the plate amount and a little more.

Good luck and have fun at the party!

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ouch! That's double! I really don't know what to do....

Thanks for the responses-
any more ladies!?!

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Posted by shorty the pumpkin

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Posted by Tivogliobene

Hi!

I can tell you that I had my e-party a month ago and the average gift was $150-200 a couple. This is also what my FH and I give when going to an e-party. I guess we give this amount because we figure it covers the plate amount and a little more.

Good luck and have fun at the party!

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ouch! That's double! I really don't know what to do....

Thanks for the responses-
any more ladies!?!

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I should have also added that $100 is FINE! I think our family is really overly generous...in other words, if I didn't have my parents telling me how much to give, I would certainly think $100 was a great gift!!!

Is it strange that they didn't register b/c they WANT/expect $$$?

I don't know what the norm is here, this is the first e-party I've ever attended outside my family- and the most recent one in the family was 12 yrs ago!!!

FH and I are still deciding on an E-party. His family doesn't do them, they feel it's just an attempt to get gifts. I don't feel that way AT ALL!!! It's an opportunity to get everyone together and celebrate something so great.

Did any of you purposely not register before an e-party?

Thanks again, I'm really clueless when it comes to this stuff!!

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Posted by shorty the pumpkin

Is it strange that they didn't register b/c they WANT/expect $$$?

I don't know what the norm is here, this is the first e-party I've ever attended outside my family- and the most recent one in the family was 12 yrs ago!!!

FH and I are still deciding on an E-party. His family doesn't do them, they feel it's just an attempt to get gifts. I don't feel that way AT ALL!!! It's an opportunity to get everyone together and celebrate something so great.

Did any of you purposely not register before an e-party?

Thanks again, I'm really clueless when it comes to this stuff!!

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Hi again!

I don't think it is strange at all that they didn't register. They aren't getting married till 2006, so what can they possibly use now?

We didn't register because we felt that our tastes would change 6 months from now, not to mention items may discontinue, etc. Plus, we do not live together and we do not know what kind of house we will have before the wedding to put all these gifts in. I thought it would be a shame to register for things I would never have the opportunity to use!

In our family, monetary gifts are most popular for e-parties...but I know that that is the case in NY....outside of NY (like in CT where my family is from), e-parties aren't even that common, and when they occur, usually a small gift is brought (bottle of wine, toasting flutes, etc).

I, too, agree that e-parties are a great way to get the whole family together...in our case, it was the first time our extended families met each other! We did not do it for the gifts.

Do not worry. Your gift will be fine. And if you know you are going to be a bridesmaid, then god knows you will be spending a lot more $ later!!!!

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Posted by Tivogliobene

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Posted by shorty the pumpkin

Is it strange that they didn't register b/c they WANT/expect $$$?

I don't know what the norm is here, this is the first e-party I've ever attended outside my family- and the most recent one in the family was 12 yrs ago!!!

FH and I are still deciding on an E-party. His family doesn't do them, they feel it's just an attempt to get gifts. I don't feel that way AT ALL!!! It's an opportunity to get everyone together and celebrate something so great.

Did any of you purposely not register before an e-party?

Thanks again, I'm really clueless when it comes to this stuff!!

---

Hi again!

I don't think it is strange at all that they didn't register. They aren't getting married till 2006, so what can they possibly use now?

We didn't register because we felt that our tastes would change 6 months from now, not to mention items may discontinue, etc. Plus, we do not live together and we do not know what kind of house we will have before the wedding to put all these gifts in. I thought it would be a shame to register for things I would never have the opportunity to use!

In our family, monetary gifts are most popular for e-parties...but I know that that is the case in NY....outside of NY (like in CT where my family is from), e-parties aren't even that common, and when they occur, usually a small gift is brought (bottle of wine, toasting flutes, etc).

I, too, agree that e-parties are a great way to get the whole family together...in our case, it was the first time our extended families met each other! We did not do it for the gifts.

Do not worry. Your gift will be fine. And if you know you are going to be a bridesmaid, then god knows you will be spending a lot more $ later!!!!

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thanks so much - I'll think I'll go w/ my FH's and Mom's suggestion. I can do $100.

OK, I just sealed the card so I don't change my mind anymore!!!

Mucho Thanks!!!!

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Posted by shorty the pumpkin

Is it strange that they didn't register b/c they WANT/expect $$$?

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NOt at all. If they don't live together, but register for a bunch of stuff, where are they going to keep it all?

I was engaged for 2 years. I had engagements gifts in DH's basement for all 2 years because we both lived with our parents. Now, I don't even know where those gifts are! We haven't been able to find them

OK, so the party was Sunday, and YES, the bride-to-be DID wear an ivory beaded gown! I'm happy with the choice I made in what I decided to give - it was better than average.

I am close with the girl, and she isn't very close w/ her family - I helped her transport some balloons and gifts back to her place. I was there when she opened all the gifts and she was honestly happy with mine.

I gave almost double what her other friends gave (I only gave $100) but I did throw in some personal touches -
About a week ago, someone posted an engagement ornament w/ 2 bears on it, the boy bear was holding a diamond ring, etc. I bought that for her, and had it personalized with their names and e-date. I also went to the Coach outlet and picked up a wallet for her. She has 2 nice brown coach bags and no wallet! She uses a small wristlet as a wallet. I stuck a little note in the box that said something like 'Caution: May overheat from constant opening throughout the wedding-planning process' - I saw it online somewhere and printed it out - she thought that was hysterical!

So what I'm trying to say is THANKS LADIES!!! You were so right, AGAIN. I owe you!