Updated: Very sad and need to let it out extremely long sorry

6/28/05 ETS: I want to thank everyone who replied an sent me FM. Everyone on here has been so sweet. FH was asking me what I was reading that was making me cry again and I said all these strangers have been so kind and caring and it feel so good to get support especially when those closest to me haven't offered me any. So the update....MOH came over last night to tell me exactly what I thought...that she thought it would be in my best interest to step down. FH was great and we both explained that it would NOT be in my best interest and that I needed her. After a bit back and forth she agreed that she should stay on as MOH. She still wants me to have a talk w/mom even though I have explained that it would do no good. I am a little concerned that MOH is going to have another altercation but I let her know that she only has to see mom another two times and for me if my mom starts anything she should just walk away and and not engage her in a confrontation. I can't say that she was pleased with that and I don't know if she'll listen but we'll see how it goes. As for my mom I haven't spoken to her since she left my house sunday night which is probably for the best. I plan on calling my dad later and finding out if everything is ok with him. I wish I could say that my mom is going to change but it is very doubtful. I am certain that she needs some sort of medication but she'll never acknowledge it and she wont go see someone so I either have to accept her for her or distance myself and protect those that I love from her. This is going to be very difficult especially for my dad but I really don't see any other way around it. Thank you again everyone for all your support...here are hugs back to you


It seems that from the moment I began this wedding planning nothing has gone right. It has just been one thing after another. I don't know who else to vent to at this point and I'm sure you girls are tired of hearing about all my issues but I just have to let it out.

Yesterday was my shower and I was so excited. I had a great time and even with all the issues within my bridal party they managed to 'suck it up' for the day and they pulled it off magnificently. They had it at the beachtree cafe in deer park and it was fabulous. I got oodles of gifts and it seemed that I spent the whole time opening presents.

My mother was in rare form and quite honestly was a bit rude to me especially. Want an example? No sooner have I walked in after everyone yelled surprise when my mother needs to make a 'public announcement' that I really ought to wear a panty girdle because I look pregnant and that I look dumpy in my dress. She went on to state that unless I start wearing something to suck in my stomach people are going to think they're at a baby shower and not a bridal shower People must have thought she was a comedian because some even laughed.

So....anyway...the party is over my MOH helps load things into her truck and FH's truck and we head back to my apartment. MOH spent a hour helping us put everything away and helping us get settled. Then her and I begin doing the thank yous which as part of my present she has addressed and stamped for me.

Then my mother calls and says her and dad are coming over and she'll bring pizza for dinner. MOH and I are in the middle of the thank yous when they show up and from the moment she walked in she had an attitude. She practically swiped the thank yous off the table because SHE was HUNGRY and wanted to EAT NOW. MOH and i continued to do the cards while they ate and all of a sudden my mom lets loose on MOH. Called her a liar about sending out invitations, about how she was rude, how she was kissing butt with the future ILs and she didn't appreciate it.

MOH at this point started yelling back stating that she was sick of being called a liar and that she was leaving. I walked her outside where she proceed to vent about how she cant believe how she was treated and that she has held her tongue for months and that she can't take it anymore and that if she doesn't have it out with my mother she's going to explode. So I said fine...have it out. She went back inside and her and my mother proceeded to have a screaming match in my dinning room. FH and my dad tried to intervene but my mother then verbally attacked them. She then tried to throw my MOH out of the house. I stepped in and said that it was MY house and the only one that could throw people out of it was ME. I then asked my mom to leave...which she wouldn't and all the while my mother was still verbally attacking my MOH. It got to the point that I honestly thought my mother was going to get into a physical altercation. MOH finally left in tears and I eventually got my parents to leave (with a lot of help from my father).

I am at my wits end, I was crying all night and really didn't feel like going to work today but I dragged myself in. Then I get a phone call from my MOH to find out if she could come over tonight at 8:00 to speak with FH and I. I asked her what it was about and she said she didn't want to discuss it on the phone.

Needless to say it must be to tell me that she's stepping down and I am really at a loss. I feel so abandoned and upset. While I understand that my mother is nuts doesn't my MOH know that the only person she's hurting is me? We have been friends for 26 years and I couldn't think of anyone I would want more to be my MOH. I'm crying as I type this because I'm so sad.

I honestly dont think I have the strength to do this wedding thing anymore. The limos are still not booked, I have to go over the ceremony with the priest, I haven't ordered the favors yet, and I am completely unmotivated to do it. I really wish I had eloped and this whole damn thing would be over already. FH has had his share of altercations with my mom and he is to the point that he doesnt even want to be in the same rooom with her. I tried to talk to my dad while he helped with the garbage last night and he told me that he is very depressed over the fact that my mother will be retiring at the end of July and that after 32 years of marriage he doesnt think he can live with her anymore and that he's very unhappy. I really feel like my world is falling apart. I'm sorry to go on about this but I'm devestated and need a hug