I love my ring, and this post is not about me, however a friend of my FI just got engaged and the bride to be is not happy with her ring, it is rather plain but elegant, she is thinking of upgrading to get baguettes on the side like mine and getting a bigger stone.
If you were in that predicament would you upgrade your ring?
ddunne23
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Re: upgrading your ring?????
I would first consider the feeling of FH. If she is totally unsatisfied she should talk to him about it. Or, I would recommend maybe upgrading in a few years for a special anniversary or something.
Licia
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I love my ring..the center stone is set high which I love, but the two side stones are also set high, almost flush with the center stone... I would have loved the side stones to be set further down... I don't think I would ever change it. My FH loves the ring...he sort of designed it. so I would never chage it. IMO I wouldn't change it.
shamma
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I am having my ring re-set but not upgraded, I wanted more of a vintage look to my ring, so that is what I am doing. I think she should not go out on her own and do this, he might be offended, they should defitnitely discuss this.
ChristineC68
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That's hard, but if she's really unhappy with it I would change it. The sentiment and meaning is still there, but I think she should love her ring.
alina
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I would talk to the fi and see if the setting can be changed
blushingbride2003
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This is difficult. IMO, upgrading right after getting engaged is a slap in the face to your FH. Is he going to pay for this upgrade? To me, I think the thought and the fact that the FH picked it out is what counts. It came from the heart. If she wants to jazz it up and get a bigger stone, it's basically a completely different ring. If she really wants to change it, I think she should wait.
nrvbrd
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She says she is going to wait a couple of years after they are settled, wedding is paid for etc.
She expects him to pay for the upgrade.
diamondgrl1
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ok being in the jewelry business i see this alot! infact i had a girl change her ring 3 times before they even got married! crazy huh? but hey it happens! some guys buy the ring without knowing what she likes at all...the way i look at it is she is going to have to look at it for the rest of her life so it better be something she likes...im not saying upgrade but maybe change the setting but use the same stones so you dont hurt the bank or his feelings too much! years ago you never heard anyone changing there ring or even talk about it but today its very common! it is definatly something she needs to talk about with her fiance. if you have any questions just ask!
Claud2001
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Re: upgrading your ring?????
I think this depends on what the woman and her FI discussed prior to getting engaged. Some guys pick a nice stone, and have it set into any 'plain vanilla'-type setting until they propose, and then they take the bride-to-be back to the jewelers to pick out her setting.
If this was not their agreement prior to the proposal, I think she needs to tell him that she loves the fact that he wants to marry her and she really likes the stone he picked out, but the setting is not something that she would be happy with in the long term. I think honesty is the best policy, but it needs to communicated in a way that won't crush the guy.
But, I definitely think she should speak up. Who would want to wear a ring they are not truly happy with??
Edited to add - I agree COMPLETELY w/Kristyn (diamondgrl1)
sept20yay!
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I think it depends on the feelings of the FI. My FI is super-sensitive and would def. have hurt feelings if he thought I didn't love what he purchased for me. Also, everytime I look at the ring, I realize the long time it took him to save up for it, all the hours he put in in the office, the expression on his face when he found the ring that he thought I would like, and how what is on my finger is a reflection of him.... I know it sounds cheesy but sometimes I do look at other people's rings and am like, wow--- but then I realize that the true diamond is the guy and I wouldn't give that up for anything!... For your friend, I would probably wait until an anniversary or something to change it up a bit... His feelings won't be so hurt a year or two from now.
karen32
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Re: upgrading your ring?????
I agree - to change it immediately would be a slap in the face. Can she wait for an anniversary or something?? It's so hard - she's going to have to look at this thing for the next 80 years, but you don't want to hurt FI. I know my FI would be crushed if I said I wanted to change my ring - that's why we did the preliminary shopping together.
JMO!!
LizD
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Re: upgrading your ring?????
If the setting is plain, maybe when she gets her wedding band/ring, she can get that a bit more..stylish. Sometimes the plain settings are really the most beautiful, and can be used with so many more wedding rings than those already with a lot to the e-ring. She should check that out.
Sassy
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Re: upgrading your ring?????
I am VERY picky, which is why I picked out my own ring. The surprise was not having any idea when it was coming. If I hadnt done that, and I was faced with a situation like this, I would first get a wedding band to my liking that would compliment the ring he got me. Then for our anniversary, I would have it changed. I would never do it right after being newly engaged. I think this would hurt even men who pretend nothing gets to them. JMO
mv1003
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Re: upgrading your ring?????
I tried to discuss changing the setting w/ FI. Didn't go over well at all. He'd taken so much time and effort picking out the stone and took a vacation day to design the setting himself. He wanted a very thin band, elegant looking and put, as he calls them treats (bagettes) on the side. You've all seen this setting before, but the fact that he took so much time, he was offended when I asked if I could change the setting. I have 2 other friends who changed their setting (but paid for it themselves) and I have a friend who hated her ring so much b/c it wasn't 'her' at all, she changed the entire thing. Definitely need to talk to FH about it, maybe just changing the setting for now. Maybe go for the upgrade in the stone later on- anniversary.
eroxgirl
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Re: upgrading your ring?????
I agree with everyone who says it would be a slap in the face. I went with my FH to pick a setting because we have different taste and my ring is fancier than I would have chosen, but he put his heart and soul into it - this is what he wanted me to have so this is what I will keep forever. He would be so hurt if I wanted to change it after all his hard work and effort!
ddunne23
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Re: upgrading your ring?????
FH was freaking out about buying me a ring since I have s distinct taste of what I like and do not like...so we picked it out togehter...so everyone is happy! No stress for him and lovely diamonds for me!
Ronnie&Theresa
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Re: upgrading your ring?????
My fh got me a ring and it was so big it was to big. I hated it. It was also pear shape and I said EWE!!!!
So I never wore it.. I know its not the right thing to do but I am a brat and if I have to wear it forever I want it to be what I like.
I wouldn't pick out his car for him..
So this Christmas he is resetting the ring to what I like and he will 'repropse' again!!
I can't wait!!!!
dkga1026
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Re: upgrading your ring?????
i think she should wear it for awhile and reset it later on...it might be insulting to him to reset it so soon...
MISHY
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Re: upgrading your ring?????
I would never never my fh picked out the ring and I feel it would insult him to say 'honey this is a nice ring but....' But that is me she has to do what she feels is right and won't insult her FI..
