So as I wrote in a different post a while ago I had a friend that I asked to be in the bp and she was like I have to ask the rabbi becasue she is religous....Well she still hasnt told me an answer....Then I called FH bros gf If she would like to be in it....(She been with the bro for a lonnnnnggg time and also walked in the fh sis weddding 2 years ago) Figure its the right thing to do.....Well she pretty much told me she didnt wanna be in it.....She was like ooo really, do I have to...Wouldnt you rather have you friends...She also said that just because the bro is in it doesnt me you have to feel like you have to put me in it....And soooo on..
I cant believe she said thatI could understand my friend not knowing but the bros gf....Then I told her she could think about it and she said ok...Now I feel soo stupid I mean I really never cared for her to be in it but FH sis and mom kinds said you have to and I didnt wana step on toes....Now Im mad I even wasted my breathe and now I am waiting on another response from a person and if they both say noI have to find other girls to be in it because Fh has 9 boys and I was going to have 7 I wont do 9 and 5 that is stupid...And I cant get dresses either....How long should I wait b4 asking someone else....What if I ask someone else and then she says yes
JSG10506
Posted:
Member since
Re: upset.....Hate BP
IMO I'd take them not giving you an answer rite away & not being over the top excited as a they don't really want to be included but don't want to hurt your feelings by saying a blunt 'no'.
If I were you I'd just either find someone else you want in your wedding & ask them, & if those girls come back and say 'yes' I'd say, sorry you took so long to get back to me that I had to find someone else to stand with us so I could go ahead and get moving on the dresses etc. You really could have an odd number, you could always have the girls and guys walk separately, or double up the guys on the girls or osmething like that instead of getting stressed.
I hope you feel less annoyed, things will work out
dedecakes
Posted:
Member since
Re: upset.....Hate BP
I would start asking people ASAP. As soon as you get a positive response from someone, tell those other girls that you asked someone else to be in the BP b/c you need to start ordering BMs dresses and can't wait any longer for them to make a decision. I know it's stressful, but remember...people arent looking at your BP. They are looking at you and FH. I am having 5 girls and FH is having 6. I was upset at first b/c it would look uneven, but I don't want to ask someone that I'm not as close with just to even out the numbers. Actually, 9 and 5 is kind of cute...that would be 2 guys to one girl. ;)
lizzie217
Posted:
Member since
Re: upset.....Hate BP
This is just IMO but i would only want my closest friends and family...it sounds like you are just asking people to have a certain number of people and that seems like the wrong reason to have people in your bridal party. If you have less than FH so what , dont stress just have your real girls in it and forget the others
MikeandJess
Posted:
Member since
Re: upset.....Hate BP
I don't think 9 and 5 is stupid. Just because you're FH has 9 people he wants in the BP doesn't mean you have to search around for girls that you don't really like to be in yours. I think you'll eventually regret having people in your bp that you don't really want there and that don't want to be there themselves.
KRISTIND
Posted:
Member since
Re: upset.....Hate BP
Uneven bridal partys are so IN!!! Do 9 and 5 and double up!!!! What girl doesn't want a guy on each arm?
mokie74m
Posted:
Member since
Re: upset.....Hate BP
I agreee who cares if you have 9 guys and 5 girls. At least they are 5 of your closest friends instead of 4 other girls that you don't really care about. Don't worry it will work out.
debzy
Posted:
Member since
Re: upset.....Hate BP
9 and 5 isn't a big deal.
Why don't you check in with your friend (the one asking the rabbi) again to push her along in her decision? Personally, if I knew you asked your other 5 a month (or whatever) before you asked me, I might be offended and say no. Sooooooo, if you plan on asking more girls, I'd ask them sooner than later.
Watever143
Posted:
Member since
Re: upset.....Hate BP
Thanks girls for all your advise....
RockysGirl
Posted:
Member since
Re: upset.....Hate BP
depending on how long ago you asked these girls, I'd probably just touch base with them at least once before dropping it all together. You can be sure their answer is no though. If they DID wanna be apart of it, they'd tell you right away. The only reason somebody avoids answering a question is if it's a negative response. So i'm sure they just don't wanna bring it up. But maybe you could just make it casual, like 'have you given the wedding any thought? it's fine if you can't, i just need to know so that we can start making plans.' And don't accept any answer except YES or NO.
I kinda asked FSIL to be in it when me & FH first got engaged. I wasn't even sure if she'd be coming to the wedding since she's only 16 and lives in Colorado, but i thought it would be nice to at least let her know that we would love for her to be apart of it. It was just weird, cause she barely responded. They don't really do weddings out there the way we do here, and i don't think she'd even been to one before, so she's not really aware of how they work. So i wasn't insulted (esp since she's just a kid). But I definitely didn't expect anything from her! The lack of response was enough and I just kicked her out of those early on plans. Good thing too, cause my suspicions were correct - she's not even coming
So my advice is not to hold on to those 2 girls. You gotta move on with plans.
bride2be2009
Posted:
Member since
Re: upset.....Hate BP
if your fiancee has one more guy he could ask, then 5 and 10 would be perfect, 2 guys to every girl... Good Luck.
geegee827
Posted:
Member since
Re: upset.....Hate BP
Uneven is definitely not strange.
I have 2 MOH's (my sisters). FH has 2 BM and 2 other GM so both of my sisters will have 2 escorts - one best man and one groomsman each.
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
Posted:
Member since
Re: upset.....Hate BP
Let me just say.... dont have people in your BP that you really dont care for just to make it even.... FH has 6 guys, I have 5 girls... I wasnt about to find a 6th girl just to make it even ... thats rediculous! we are doubling up 1 of the girls instead.... no biggie... no1 will even remember
Cacarina
Posted:
Member since
Re: upset.....Hate BP
Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz
Let me just say.... dont have people in your BP that you really dont care for just to make it even.... FH has 6 guys, I have 5 girls... I wasnt about to find a 6th girl just to make it even ... thats rediculous! we are doubling up 1 of the girls instead.... no biggie... no1 will even remember
I completely agree. My SIL had many issues with bitchy bridesmaids and she completely regretted having 2 girls in her BP. I learned from her mistakes and I am not having an even BP. I have 5 girls and FH has 9 guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just have who you care about, and people you know will be in your life for years to come.
dutchessev
Posted:
Member since
Re: upset.....Hate BP
I would just take their answers as no. I would look for other people and if later they say something 'O WELL'.
sophisticat13
Posted:
Member since
Re: upset.....Hate BP
I agree with the other girls...I wouldn't ask girls to be in your BP just to even out the numbers. The idea behind a BP is that you want your closest family and friends around you to support you The numbers don't matter. I had 2 MOHs (my sisters) and my FH's sister as my BM; he had a best man, and everything worked out fine. I have not been to one wedding in years where there was an 'even' BP...don't worry...and as far as the girls who didn't give you a straight answer...to me that IS their answer, and I wouldn't wait anymore for them but I would ask myself how much I really want them in my BP, and how upset will I really be if they aren't in my BP?
MrsL2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: upset.....Hate BP
i like the idea of 9 gm and 5 bm. i was at a wedding in june that had 3 bm and 6 gm. each girl had 2 guys. and my cousins wedding in oct had 5 guys and 4 girls. they just had 1 girl walk down with 2 guys.
