Upsetting decline for Fh. sorry long.

SFP0214 Posted: Apr 28, 2005 03:54 PM

Upsetting decline for Fh. sorry long.

Fh went to both of his cousins weddings in Oklahoma, ONE in college and ONE last year (I went also). That last one we were visiting my little brother in the Air Force in Texas over a 3 day weekend. Well out of feelings of obligation we spent a boatload to add a flight to Oklahoma to also attend the wedding. So instead of 3 relaxing days in Tx we had whirlwind crazy weekend renting cars and planes all over the midwest...

Now we get a decline from mother of both of these cousins. Her and her husband are not coming because she is afraid to fly since 9/11.. Please. I can sort of understand the fear of flying.. but there are trains and cars and other ways of transportation. FH feels like she OWES it to him to come because he went to both of her children's weddings. I just don't understand why she is living her life in fear and insulting family at the same time. He is SOOO upset about this. When we were at the wedding in OK she came up to me and said (insert cute accent here) 'we would be much obligded to come to a wedding in NY if you two would be having one soon...wink wink'.. This was before we were engaged. So why the change of heart.

I just feel so bad for Fh. He has no family here and my family just adores him but he really wanted his close relatives to come. His grandma can't because she is too old, now his aunt and it is rumored that one of the above mentioned cousins may not come... I just want to cry for him...

Vent over

prncssrachel Posted: Apr 28, 2005 04:04 PM

Re: Upsetting decline for Fh. sorry long.

That's too bad. Just about NO ONE in JT's family will be at our wedding. His parents don't keep in contact with anyone adn they have no friends. It's very sad, and JT is dreading sending out the invitations to see how few people in his family will come. So we feel your pain.

Mrs. dleeny Posted: Apr 28, 2005 04:27 PM

Re: Upsetting decline for Fh. sorry long.

aww, I am sorry to hear that.

IMO, you might want to give her a call and express how sad you and FH are that she can't make it. You might also want to let her know about alternative transportation.

I think it's worth a shot.

jeanla4c Posted: Apr 28, 2005 04:53 PM

Re: Upsetting decline for Fh. sorry long.

Sorry to hear that...of all of our no's so far, all are from FH's side of family besides one. He said...get used to it. I feel so bad for him and badly since I want to know his family but they aren't close. Hugs your and your FH way....

marc_rai Posted: Apr 28, 2005 05:08 PM

Re: Upsetting decline for Fh. sorry long.

Posted by dleeny

aww, I am sorry to hear that.

IMO, you might want to give her a call and express how sad you and FH are that she can't make it. You might also want to let her know about alternative transportation.

I think it's worth a shot.

I agres. or maybe FH should call. If they are really close then it wouldn't hurt for him to say how much he want her at the wedding and it is important for him to have his family there.

SFP0214 Posted: Apr 28, 2005 05:20 PM

Re: Upsetting decline for Fh. sorry long.

Posted by marc_rai

Posted by dleeny

aww, I am sorry to hear that.

IMO, you might want to give her a call and express how sad you and FH are that she can't make it. You might also want to let her know about alternative transportation.

I think it's worth a shot.
I agres. or maybe FH should call. If they are really close then it wouldn't hurt for him to say how much he want her at the wedding and it is important for him to have his family there.

maybe. I don't know. It is really hard for Fh to confront his family. I will ask him if he would want to do that. I guess it would be worth a shot.

Mrs. dleeny Posted: Apr 28, 2005 06:10 PM

Re: Upsetting decline for Fh. sorry long.

Posted by SFP0214

Posted by marc_rai

Posted by dleeny

aww, I am sorry to hear that.

IMO, you might want to give her a call and express how sad you and FH are that she can't make it. You might also want to let her know about alternative transportation.

I think it's worth a shot.
I agres. or maybe FH should call. If they are really close then it wouldn't hurt for him to say how much he want her at the wedding and it is important for him to have his family there.

maybe. I don't know. It is really hard for Fh to confront his family. I will ask him if he would want to do that. I guess it would be worth a shot.

I don't really think it's 'confronting'. and you know what? she would probably SO touched that you feel how you do! I bet it would make her day - and maybe she will reconsider

tinkerwdw Posted: Apr 28, 2005 10:36 PM

Re: Upsetting decline for Fh. sorry long.

We are in a similar boat. A very few amount of people are coming from my FH family since he is from florida- but they are throwing a family 'prewedding/shower' for us in a month for the family that will be unable to attend, so at least he will not feel too bad. Hopefully you will have such a beautiful day that you will think about the people who ARE there for you :)