Vent

People must not think before they talk...
Thats the ony reasonable explanation I can come up with!

I just ignore her when she starts saying stuff like this. but i think she tries to discourge FH. And I hate that. He gets so excited about this stuff and then she brings him down.

yeah she just doesnt think before she speaks...Alot of people don't realize how long it can take for a closing...Theres people who find something they like and think they'll be able to move in right away, so maybe she just doesnt know the process, i dont know lol.

People will always throw their 2 cents in to aggrevate you, its hard but kind of have to let it go, it will still get on your nerves but just dont stress out about it.

I got into a huge fight with my dad bc for the wedding he said he wants to bring in this band...I SAID NOOO...so he starts yelling...Uhmmm hello we cant do that...first off we'll have the dj's and were not just getting one dj and itll only take up small space, its a dj, mc's, percussion, lightshow plasmas...I said we would have to interrupt the reception so the band can play, i said i cant stop the party and have our guests just sit there watching someone set up...Plus i said i wll not have them play one hour of the same type of music, he goes no they can play 2-3 songs then the dj can do songs and then the band...HE seriously doesnt think sometimes....Meanwhile he was yelling on top of his lungs...I said whatever song you want, we'll give to the dj ahead of time to play...He says so this is how i get treated, i bring a cd and say here can you please give my songs, my songs will get played off of a cd and gets mad...UHMMMM OUR songs will also be played the same way.

My point, people don't think things through before they speak...DOnt let her aggrevate you, i guess its their way of still feeling like a parent. They have to question our decisions and they want to have all the answer.

Yeah I know I just have to ignore it. But it just gets fustrating sometimes.

I wish the wedding will get here sooner...lol

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Posted by Espo22

BTW where are you looking to buy a house?

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In whitestone, & bayside. were looking for a 2 family. were also looking in li. But most likely gonna stick to queens.

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Posted by Julybride08

Yeah I know I just have to ignore it. But it just gets fustrating sometimes.

I wish the wedding will get here sooner...lol

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While you are looking maybe you shouldn't fill her in on the details...She doesn't need to know every little details...After you find something and are ready to make an offer then let her in on your details...After that if she says anything its like well its too late and this is what were doing

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Posted by Julybride08

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Posted by Espo22

BTW where are you looking to buy a house?

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In whitestone, & bayside. were looking for a 2 family. were also looking in li. But most likely gonna stick to queens.

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Ooo nice area, yeah theres some parts of LI that are just a few mins away from whitestone if anything...Like little neck for example...But good luck

I've learned with all this wedding planning that you can only take a recommendation as just that. In the end you and FH have to live with your decision so it doesn't matter what others think.

My mother and I disagree on most things so I tend to watch what I say around her at the request of my dad.

Before you go to tell her anything, just remember you made this decision and are happy to stick with it. This way if she says anything it will be easier not to let it bother you.

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Posted by ant n tilde

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Posted by Julybride08

I just ignore her when she starts saying stuff like this. but i think she tries to discourge FH. And I hate that. He gets so excited about this stuff and then she brings him down.

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omg i know exactly what you mean!

people just dont understand sometimes - i think it is SO SMART to start early. . . my MOH started looking a year before her wedding - got a house 6 months before the wedding and with the closing AND renovations she couldnt move in for about 3-4 months after the wedding! They were both living at home so they had to split time btw the parents' houses

my cousin also bought a coop early but still had to start out his married life in a twin bed in his wife's parent's home - bc it took so long to move in!

so you are definitely doing the right thing and she stinks

but i know what you mean about the ILs bringing FH down - same thing happened this weekend!

All night Friday and all morning Saturday we worked on our apartment and FH was pracctically giddy he was so excited and my parents kept coming upstairs to say that we got so much done and they couldnt believe it

THEN saturday morning FFIL comes over for about a half hour - doesnt acknowledge any of the work we have done so far and starts rattling off a list of things that we need to do. . . and keeps saying 'you kids dont realize how much work is going to be needed' - um yeah we do and hello! my dad is here and he knows too - he practically BUILT my house from the ground up . . .but NOOOO he acts like we are all clueless and he is the only one who knows anything - i appreciate that he wants to help but instead of actually helping he just points out all the things we need to do and then leaves! and then for the rest of the day sunday Fh is miserable and he thinks we made the wrong choice - meanwhile hte day before he was like giggling about it! so annoying

sorry to highjack your vent - just know that i understand!

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Thats *****!! It's sad how you are so happy one min and someone can just come in a ruin all your happiness. I think you guys are doing a great thing. Your apartment is gonna look so nice when your done. Do like me and ignore the inlaws...lol now we just have to teach the Fh to do the same.

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Posted by Espo22

That ***** Jess...its like i said parents i think dont feel needed anymore when we don't go to them for help or advice, and alot of times i think they act like that out of hurt...Also they have to yell or put down things we do so they can still feel they have authority over us.

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It's so terrible! I throw ideas around to my dad all the time because he is the only one who listens. Everyone else always says something.

Maybe that's where we go wrong! We just want to talk about what we are doing... that's it... no advice or opinions etc.... and they don't want us to grow up so they give their adivce and opinions etc....

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Posted by Autumn08

I've learned with all this wedding planning that you can only take a recommendation as just that. In the end you and FH have to live with your decision so it doesn't matter what others think.

My mother and I disagree on most things so I tend to watch what I say around her at the request of my dad.

Before you go to tell her anything, just remember you made this decision and are happy to stick with it. This way if she says anything it will be easier not to let it bother you.

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My mom too!! anything i like, she doesnt. I show her a picture of the red roses cp from TWOTY and my mom goes on to say that roses dont live long! I was excited about the 200 off my wedding dress and she was like well thats only if you shop there.. hello.. sooo.. you're the one paying for the dress!

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Posted by cherish83

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Posted by Autumn08

I've learned with all this wedding planning that you can only take a recommendation as just that. In the end you and FH have to live with your decision so it doesn't matter what others think.

My mother and I disagree on most things so I tend to watch what I say around her at the request of my dad.

Before you go to tell her anything, just remember you made this decision and are happy to stick with it. This way if she says anything it will be easier not to let it bother you.

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My mom too!! anything i like, she doesnt. I show her a picture of the red roses cp from TWOTY and my mom goes on to say that roses dont live long! I was excited about the 200 off my wedding dress and she was like well thats only if you shop there.. hello.. sooo.. you're the one paying for the dress!

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I was talking wedding colors with my mom. And I said instead of a B&W formal affair I wanted to do either Brown & white or Brown & ivory because it's in the fall. I've seem this color scheme used and loved it's elegance and simplicity! I show her a JEAN M invitation and says she doesn't like it. Then she turns the page as says what about these colors. The colors were orange and fusha! Very pretty colors but not what I had in mind when I booked a fall wedding! And this is only an example. Wedding and non-wedding related things for some reason we don't agree!! Ever!!!

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Posted by Autumn08

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Posted by Espo22

That ***** Jess...its like i said parents i think dont feel needed anymore when we don't go to them for help or advice, and alot of times i think they act like that out of hurt...Also they have to yell or put down things we do so they can still feel they have authority over us.

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It's so terrible! I throw ideas around to my dad all the time because he is the only one who listens. Everyone else always says something.

Maybe that's where we go wrong! We just want to talk about what we are doing... that's it... no advice or opinions etc.... and they don't want us to grow up so they give their adivce and opinions etc....

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Yeah from now on talk to your dad about things, others who will just be negative leave them out of it, and when you make the decision and find something then they can just be filled in