vent....

I am tired of the planning...Last night beside not seeing FH on Vday...

My mom and MOH proceeded to tell me how I have changed sine I started planning the wedding...and how unhappy I am...

I have not one clue what they mean...I am not stressed...everything is coming a long and i am happy probably the happiest I have ever been...

Why do people have to think other things of you? No I do not care to plan. They have upset me a nd I am now sad...I told my FH I no longer want the wedding and the church...I want us on the HM to exchange our vows with no one there...He does not want that ...So I told him fine the wedding here is his and mine will be on the boat...I am done planning since planning made the two people other than FH hate me...

I am soo upset, confused and who knows what....

maybe just sit down with them & tell them how you feel

hope it works out

I know exactly how you feel, i'm havin one of those days myself.

i tried last night but I guess I changed too much that my mom just kept going on and on...I am plannign to spend tomorrow in my bed a lone if I can not find some where to escape to by myself....

I just need a break

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Posted by MrsK2008

I just lost my whole post!

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anyone close to you is going to change after this experience.

i can only share with you what I am dealing with as I am sure I have no idea what you are really struggling with.

Of all of the people involved in planning our wedding my mom is absolutely the most excited and helpful. Which is the EXACT opposite of what I had ever imagined she would be.

My sister and other family memebers whom I thought would be much more helpful are THE LEAST HELPFUL. Some of them are completely indifferent and it hurts my feelings. I am more scarred over the 'whatever' approach than anything else.

I suspect that your family is projecting how they feel onto you. what I mean by that is that they have all of these emotions they are overwhlemed with, and instead of owning them as their feelings they are telling you that they are how you make them feel.

Besides the fact you are getting married sweety, it has nothing to do with you!

It *****, but I really believe in a lot of ways we are all dealing with this. You are so not alone!

not stealing thunder her...I am leavign home and I know mom is upset with that...but as for MOH who knows she is married and has a kid....How long are can you be upset for? I just do not know what to do....

I am regretting planning and the wedding..There is not excitment

aww i am so sorry hon.

From what you said it doesn't sound like you are doing anything to warrant this. Sometimes it is hard for our other family & friends to be around during this time, because a part of them is upset that the relationship are changing. Becoming more about you & FH than them. Sometimes they have a hard time letting go & put it on you.

I am so sorry. Please enjoy it, don't let them get you down. Don't take someone else's baggage.

Posted by MrsK2008

I just lost my whole post!
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THANK YOU GIRLS!!!!

You are making me feel better...I just hate to think that they think I am changing....

I try to always please everyone else...and never myself....

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Posted by heathermatt

not stealing thunder her...I am leavign home and I know mom is upset with that...but as for MOH who knows she is married and has a kid....How long are can you be upset for? I just do not know what to do....

I am regretting planning and the wedding..There is not excitment

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NOoo.

Your wedding is your expression of love between you & your FH. Don't let someone feel bad about that.

Your mom may be feeling bad about you leaving.. actually she is.
Let her know that you love her too. are you the last to leave? if so empty nest syndrome may be playing a part here.

Awww you sound so sad right now....I feel bad and i'm feelin just about the same right about now too....

I really don't understand people and why everyone feels the need to voice their opinion. People can be so stupid and insensitive sometimes. What are they trying to accomplish by telling you that you have 'changed'

Everyone is just so selfish and it's probably not even about you, it's probably about THEM and something they are feeling and trying to repair. Don't let it get to you.....you have every right to feel and act how you want and if they feel you have changed then that's just life.

2 possible comebacks for their claim:

1) Would you like some cheese with your whine????

2) Build a bridge and get over it.

Smile hunny.

I am not going to try & please everyone.

My motto is if I am happy those that are truly 'down' with me will be too. If not, well like above said, 'build that bridge & get over it!'

You try & please everyone, you are sure to fail.

Don't worry hon. Everyone has these moments. We all toughen up from it.

Don't let someone else's issues get you down.

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Posted by Celest

I am not going to try & please everyone.

My motto is if I am happy those that are truly 'down' with me will be too. If not, well like above said, 'build that bridge & get over it!'

You try & please everyone, you are sure to fail.

Don't worry hon. Everyone has these moments. We all toughen up from it.

Don't let someone else's issues get you down.

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' I wanna be DOWN with what your goin' through..........I wanna be DOWowOWowOWn with you.......'

love that song!

im just curious why they think you changed? did they give you examples? do they mean you changed b/c of the wedding planning? is it because you talk about the wedding too much? or not enough? im just wondering what exactly they meant when they said that to you....

im not sure if this has anything to do with your post, but i know for myself, i don't bring up wedding talk unless someone asks me a question, and unless i booked something or am thinking about booking something - otherwise i don't mention the wedding at all in everyday conversations (except for FH).....i don't want to be annoying to my Mom, sister, FMIL, FSIL, my best friend, people at work, etc. - we are having a 15 month engagement (we have about 9 months left to go) and i can't imagine what it would be like for all of them if all i did was talk about the wedding for 15 months straight - that is why i come on here instead it does seem like brides can go overboard with talking about the wedding and their family/friends get upest at them - it seems like there have been a lot of posts on here about it....im not saying that is what happened to you at all - im just trying to give the perspective of people other than the bride.....i havent had any problems yet and im not sure if im just lucky to have good people around me or if its because i have been keeping wedding talk to a minimum - its just something i've noticed on the boards....i just think that if i talked about the wedding and always brought it up i would come off as selfish and self centered and that i would drive everyone crazy....but thats just me and my opinion...

i am sure that whatever happened between you guys can be worked out....i cant really offer you any advice because im not sure exactly what happened but i can offer you im sure everything will be fine....dont let it get you down and not want to plan....

It is not that I talk about it...They say that I am just stressed abuout it...I do not feel stressed...They say I do nto smile...I do...I feel like I do ...

So who knows...

You girls have made me feel a little better...I am actually going for my next period ...I work with a 10th grader who is soo negitive about school....We are going to write letter about our feeling together and then we will share them and give them to one person we love...

I thought he needed a little life lesson that there are other people out there who get upset and feel like life ***** too and it can change...

Good before break lesson....haha...

Maybe you have changed, and they arent liking it...and its not the change they say it is...But you are becoming more independent and decisions have become more about what you and FH want, then what they family might want...their imput isnt first anymore...Also, they are probably sad that you are leaving, and through their own hurt and anger, they do not know how to express themselves...You are growing up and getting married,....about to start your own family!

Have you and your family always been extra close??

Sometimes when we are stressin, we dont see how we act, but if you are certain that you havent changed and that you continue to smile and you arent stressed...then above is what I believe...

I mean...how many of us are bouncing brides full of joy and relaxation every minute of the day! Many of us work full time jobs and even so school at night...Its alot of work planning a wedding alone...other than work, school, and the emotions of it all,...and leaving home!

I wouldnt react to what they are saying. be confident in YOU and if you say you havent changed then try not to agonize. IF you want to talk to them, definitley do, but dont expect them to do a 180....and if they do thats the best news ever!!!

HTH

i agree - they may just be sad that you are leaving and becoming more independent - becoming independent IS changing - but definitley not in a bad way