Vent about FSIL...(sorry kind of long)

My FSIL has to control everything. Her parents are older and she has to do a lot for them so pretty much she controls them also. She ruined my e-party (too long to go into), she bought a $180 fg dress just so I wouldnt get the one I picked out for $60 (I let that go, its not my money). BTW, she did things like this to his 1st wife also. We had words last week because she brought up a very painful subject, again (my father, who wont be at the wedding). I told her that no matter what she does or says this will be a nice wedding and my FI and I will have a good life together, with or withour her. Now, she is telling his whole family lies that I said these nasty things about them, calling them names, etc. I never did (and if I had it wouldnt have been to her). I want my mom to call her and tell her that she is not welcome to my shower, but she wont, I dont want her there. I told my FI that if he wants her at the wedding thats fine with me but if she starts I am having her removed. I am so upset, I need this 98 days before the wedding.

I have to say i agree with you mom, she is right YOU SHOULDN'T have her not invited...You are only going to cause more problems for yourself!
If your FSIL has as much control as you say,....you could have a wedding with a bunch of people not showing up! Take the high road, avoid her and have a beautiful day!

at this point i wouldn't escalate the situation, i would ignore her. as long as you keep your cool, she can contine making an a$$ out of herself in front of everyone else. as soon as you engage, you stoop to her level...

My grandma was exactly like your FSIL. She told everyone lies and tried to control everything. It was my dad's mom and eventually my mom told her exactly how she felt and to leave her alone. The mean grandma would not let me have a cookie before dinner when I was 3. She told my father I was stupid and would never amount to anything. She told my mother that she wasn't religious enough to be a member of the family. The drama goes on but the moral of the story...you can't teach an old dog new tricks. You can't change your FSIL as much as you try too. She will always be this way, so reasoning with her is out of the question. My dad's mom was kicked out of the wedding by mom's mom. It doesn't matter if your FSIL lives next door or 2000 miles away, just try and make it peacefully to your wedding day and after that, if you don't want to speak her again for awhile or forever than that is your choice. Because she is never going to change. It may sound harsh, but like I have said before..I am not into sugar coating.

I hate to say it (because I'd feel the same as you) but I agree with your mom (deep, deep down). Sometimes we have to put on a happy face & not stoop to the level of some people.

My mom did this at my aunts shower & it helped a lot. Maybe your Mom could put out small place cards & have the tables numbered. If she knows where you'll be seated to eat & open gifts she could seat your FSIL far far away. (& possibly with people who won't care to listen to her complaining ) This cost us $4 from Party City & saved my aunt about $100 in Excedrin

I am so sorry!!! Please do not let this ruin your special time!