vent - apologize in advance

I was contemplating whether to post this, but i figured what the hey, I hate talking about it with my friends and family..so here it goes..

Wedding is in 6 weeks tomorrow and I should be excited, but I am not. There are still so many things yet to do that I am stressing over (like mostly everyone who has an upcoming wedding or did have one). I just returned from Europe 2 weeks ago, and feel like I have yet to get back into the swing of things.

On Monday I went for my annual check up at the obgyn. well to my surprise I get wacked with oh yeah I feel a lump (oh my), and just like that wasn't enough I haven't gotten my period in 3 months (and I am not preggo - though i wish i were) seems as though I may be going through early menopause (possibility). He gave me these pills to induce it - well I took four of them (there are seven) and yet nothing. I am panicking here. Everytime I think about the possibility of not being able to have children I cry. Then I tried on my dress for my first fitting and even though it fit fine, it didn't like it. I don't know if it was cause of the news I had received earlier or the fact that i really didn't like it. So I am going back this monday to do it again.

I just want to be happy about the wedding and I am feeling miserable and it doesn't help that FI is 3500 miles away.

Well, I know there are far more worst things out there, but still am freaking out!!!

Sorry if too much info, just I don't know feeling lousy!

THAT'S FIRST. OK, so as for the lump, I had a tumor removed once, it wasn't cancer but of course, it's scary. Do they think it's a cyst or do you need to have a biopsy?

As for the dress, I think it could just be your mood, because I tried mine on in a bad mood and was really unhappy, but when I looked at the pics later I was like, 'Oh, I love my dress'.

As for children and the early menopause, I don't know what to say. I really don't know anything about it. I’m sure your doctor can offer many options. I hope this isn’t the wrong thing to say but if you couldn't have children is adopting an option? You and your FH will have a happy family whatever your future holds.

I hope you and FH are reunited soon – I’m sure him being far away does NOT help at all when you’re having all these things going on.

Best of luck and here are some more

Awww, I am sorry you are feeling down. I think we all have or will go thru these normal wedding downs.
Dont stress over the medical issues. Let the pills work and see what the dr. says from there.
Before you know it , the wedding will be here and gone.

i understand how you feel. i went thru a similar situation when i first came home. i go engaged in october 2005 and at the time i was doing my MA. i returned in december (without FH) and i was thrown into wedding planning. my FH was over 5000 miles away and i was miserable!!! he came over for a visit in february, but only for 2 weeks. i was pretty miserable planning a wedding, when he wasnt here. there was a few other issues beside him not being here, such as family etc.

he is here with me now, and came here 3 weeks ago. i can tell you i enjoy the planning process MUCH more with him here.

i can tell you, that you have too much going on and the stress is getting to you. also i do not know how long you were in Europe for (a few months or more?). if you were there for a while, then you are probably experiencing culture shock, by coming home.

FM me if you want to talk, i understand how you feel.

i'm so sorry you're going through all this. as far as the dress goes... i'm sure it's just all the stress that you're going through right now. it's hard to get excited when you're feeling so down. i wish that i had more advice or words to make you feel better as far as the medical aspects but unfortunately, i don't know much about it. i can only keep in my prayers that it all works out for the best for you. and the FH comes home soon to you!!

First -
Second - there is no need to apologize. This site was created so we could all be one another's support system when needed.
Third - before panicking or crying or totally freaking out about the news the MD gave you, give it some time. You still have more pills to take, and there are plenty of MDs available for second opinions.
Fourth - the dress. The day I visited my dress after it arrived I was in a singularly LOUSY mood when I got to the salon. I tried it on, felt ugly, fat, and miserable. I started wondering why I ever chose it. I was so distracted and distressed when I left the bridal salon I wasn't paying attention and managed to back my car up onto an island in the parking lot - getting it completely stuck and requiring a call to AAA to get it unstuck. (I can't even begin to tell you how embarrassed I was - so much so that this is the first time I'm even posting the story and it happened in April). The look on my face in the pictures taken that day show how comletely unhappy I was - and I never posted them. Then I looked at the pictures a fellow LIW bride took of me in the sample dress in February and saw how happy I was. I know I was unhappy in April b/c of the lousy morning I was having. I'm sure you were experiencing the same thing.

I too had not so great news from doctors for the year leading up to the wedding. Some days it just overwhelmed me and I broke down. They tried different medicines and nothing is still working. I want a child and always have. So, I know how you feel.

Go out for a girls day out. Get a facial, or a massage, or pedicure, etc. It made me feel better. You're not alone. You've got all of us here!

i am so sorry that you are going through all of this so the only thing i can offer is some hugs and prayers!

also - i happen to be a early menopause baby! my mom's doctor told her that she was starting menopause and so i guess she slacked on being careful . . . and SURPRISE here I am today - she didnt even go to the doctor for a few months because she figured she was just skipping a few months!

i hope everything turns out okay! try to relax and enjoy the good things around you!

Ann sweetie. I am sorry you are feeling like this. Of course you are stressing...you are dealing with something WAY BEYOND a day-long event...don't apologize at all!

I hope that everything works out for the best. I know that you are far from Andrew, but I am sure you know how much he is with you and behind you. Please vent any time, and fm me...I'm here.

as for your dress, I had so many problems with mine and to this day, I still don't really like it. it didn't fit me right on the waist ( a little big) but everyone thought it was beautiful...and it was, though to me, I still wish I had done something different...that being said...I got MARRIED in that dress, as you will in yours, and you will be beautiful and you will ALWAYS look at it fondly because of that.

of all the things to stress about, don't let your dress be one of them..too many other things that can and will go wrong manifest itself in the way you feel about 'THE DRESS'...it IS beautiful and you will be STUNNING

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Posted by kittythestray

THAT'S FIRST. OK, so as for the lump, I had a tumor removed once, it wasn't cancer but of course, it's scary. Do they think it's a cyst or do you need to have a biopsy?

As for the dress, I think it could just be your mood, because I tried mine on in a bad mood and was really unhappy, but when I looked at the pics later I was like, 'Oh, I love my dress'.

As for children and the early menopause, I don't know what to say. I really don't know anything about it. I’m sure your doctor can offer many options. I hope this isn’t the wrong thing to say but if you couldn't have children is adopting an option? You and your FH will have a happy family whatever your future holds.

I hope you and FH are reunited soon – I’m sure him being far away does NOT help at all when you’re having all these things going on.

Best of luck and here are some more

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kara, you said everything i was going to say.

Please please please go see a specialist. You may love your doctor, but a specialist can give your meds that are much stronger then a general obgyn can prescribe. A friend of mine went through this and the specialist put her on a SUPER strong BC pill. She has 2 kids.
You are in my prayers
best,
nancy

Dont worry until you know for sure there is something to worry about.
I will keep you in my prayers, keep your chin up

I don't know how I missed this thread this morning.

First off, hugs all around...

Second, the best vents I've ever had was here on LIW. We're all great for that.

Third, there is a possibility that if it is early menopause, it's totally screwing with your hormones. The same stuff that makes you moody once a month could be causing the same outlook on the wedding planning.

Once you get more information, a second opinions, and know what your options are, it will be better. Not knowing is tough but it shouldn't take that long. Then you can go about doing what you need to do to be healthy and have a great wedding!

We're here for ya, no matter what. I'm hoping for the best for you.

And btw, I had a lump in my underarm and it turned out to be an ingrown hair. A week of antibiotics and it was cleared up. But I remember the anxiety and fear, before I got to see the doctor, and I can sympathize with you. I'm hoping yours is just a cyst or something similar.

thank you all so much for your thoughts. It is so greatly apprieciated.

I am still keeping my fingers crossed that I will get my period soon - and still shock that I have to worry about all this now - beiig that im only 26 and that my wedding is 6 weeks away, still either way there is nothing i can do about it.

as for the lump, went to have an ultrasound today and turns out i have nothing to worry about that; it was only a cysts so that is a definitely relief.

keep your fingers crossed that i start flowing soon.

thank you all so much again.

I am glad that the ultrasound turned out okay. That is a blessing. I think the time change probably threw off your cycle and it will come soon. Don't worry! !!! It will all work out in the end I promise!

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Posted by Awhite80

as for the lump, went to have an ultrasound today and turns out i have nothing to worry about that; it was only a cysts so that is a definitely relief.

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That's great news! I'm so glad and relieved for you. I'll keep my fingers crossed for your period too. You want mine? I'll give it up willingly.