Vent: Family Members who ruin things

My uncle F is just about the most self absorbed dysfunctional person I know.

Now, my wedding is far enough away, but my sister's is around the corner and he is just being a total tool about EVERYTHING.

I don't want to get into all the details, but he is giving us a really hard time about his wife coming to my sister's shower next month. Excuse after excuse which boils down to either the entire family has to come (him plus 3 boys under age 7) or no one will come. And then he tells my sister that it is too inconvenient for him to bring the family to the rehearsal, even though the 3 boys, him, and his wife, are walking down the aisle.

My mom is trying to reason with him but he is pulling the same routine as always. I told my mom to let them all stay home but she is like 'it's my only brother...' blah blah blah.

My sister is getting married ONCE. Not 3 times like him. ONCE. And all he can think about is himself. I am so very very upset with him right now.

It's like he really doesn't get that this is a once in a lifetime thing that he is runing.

thanks for listening. I just had a rather frustrating conversation with my mom about this. I mean, after all, this is the uncle who didn't come to my engagement party because the baby had a cold.

wait i am confused... he wants to attend the shower?? doesn't he know its for women only?

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Posted by JenBill61210

wait i am confused... he wants to attend the shower?? doesn't he know its for women only?

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yea i was confused about that too

I think he wants to be at all the parties, along with his wife and 3 children's. . Sometime you have to let it roll out.

Yes, he wants to attend the shower. Not that he has to, apparently his wife is unable to get here herself. And he needs to drive her and they don't trust anyone else to watch the kids and have never used a babysitter.

Even though she drives the kids everywhere all the time, she cannot drive herself to the shower. Which leaves me to believe my uncle simply doesn't want to spend the day alone with the kids. So instead of my aunt coming by herself, she needs to come with all the kids - who are not well behaved and will not simply just sit there quietly.

And Ray - the problem is that he doesn't want to come to the rehearsal. We WANT them all at the rehearsal, and he says non of them can come because it will mess up the boy's schedule.

My uncle has always been selfish, and since having the boys he has used them as more excuses for why he cannot do the things he should.

PS - we are having a table at the shower for men. It is in the back of the room and they will have food and beer. This is because some of my older aunts do not drive (and they are coming from far) and they are having their sons or husbands drive them. Most are coming with their daughters who we made room for at the regular tables, but we do have 4 men coming - and my dad will keep them company. We are going to give them decks of cards.

Update : My uncle is now lying to my mom about a bunch of stuff that happened last month. My mom turned 60 and we tried to have the whole family get together for dinner. We tried EVERYTHING to get him to come, suggesting early Saturday or early Sunday so the boys could be home in time to stay on schedule.

We were given 1,000,000 excuses why they couldn't come - such as his birthday was in a few days and his wife was going to take them all on vacation to celebrate, and everything else.

My mom just called and was like 'well he said'... and NONE of it was true.

I know it is her brother and all, but after the past few years and all the stuff he has pulled, I cannot believe she is taking his word over mine and my sisters.

I told her I don't understand what any of this has to do with the shower. If he comes, he and the boys will become the center of attention. Most of my mom's family has not seen my uncle in years and never met the boys. And on the day when everything is supposed to be about my sister, i don't want them coming late, ruining the surprise, and being the center of attention.

Of course, my mom told him he can come and trusts he will be on time and everything will be OK. I know better.

If he ruins this he will not be invited to my wedding. Period.