Vent - FMIL

My FMIL does not meddle. She does not argue about anything wedding-related. She didn't have a fit about the guest list.

So why am I complaining?

Because she doesn't effin care about anything that has to do with the wedding!!! FH wants me to include her but there has been zero interest on her part. Phone calls are not returned , emails are almost never answered. We both have aol addresses so I know she reads them.

I feel like she doesn't approve but doesn't have the nerve to say it. Like she thinks I'm not good enough for her baby boy. I wonder if this is how they are going to be when we have children -- FH says no but their track record speaks for itself.

Normally I would say F you but of course I can't. Her MOG dress will probably be all black with a black veil and she'll weep bitterly during the ceremony, lol

people s u c k ( vent over)

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Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri

My FMIL does not meddle. She does not argue about anything wedding-related. She didn't have a fit about the guest list.

So why am I complaining?

Because she doesn't effin care about anything that has to do with the wedding!!! FH wants me to include her but there has been zero interest on her part. Phone calls are not returned , emails are almost never answered. We both have aol addresses so I know she reads them.

I feel like she doesn't approve but doesn't have the nerve to say it. Like she thinks I'm not good enough for her baby boy. I wonder if this is how they are going to be when we have children -- FH says no but their track record speaks for itself.

Normally I would say F you but of course I can't. Her MOG dress will probably be all black with a black veil and she'll weep bitterly during the ceremony, lol

people s u c k ( vent over)

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You should ask FH to find ways to involve her if she is unresponsive to you. I also tried to get FMIL involved, but she is an ice queen. She has no idea that things cost more than they did in 1970 when she got married!
She makes me crazy when I have to deral with her, so now I don't!!

'10 crashing...I know that you want FMIL to be involved...but if she gets tooo involved its really annoying!...We are not getting married until 2010, and I cant take it already...she has told me that I cant have a wedding on a Friday, not to have penne alla vodka on the menu she doesnt like it, no baby lamb chops bc she doesnt like it, I shouldnt get a monogram cake topper, bc its stupid, and the list goes on and on! Sooooo just think you could have the TOTAL opposite.

I'm the same way. My FMIL doesn't complain about my choices, she just doesn't care and doesn't ask. Then when it's all said and done she'll probably tell her family, 'Laura didn't include me at all!' I can't worry about it. If it doesn't involve what she'll wear, her fittings, her shoes or how she'll do her hair for the wedding, she couldn't care less.

Oh well..cest la vie! My day will be perfect for me fh and MY family!

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Posted by LauraD419

I'm the same way. My FMIL doesn't complain about my choices, she just doesn't care and doesn't ask. Then when it's all said and done she'll probably tell her family, 'Laura didn't include me at all!' I can't worry about it. If it doesn't involve what she'll wear, her fittings, her shoes or how she'll do her hair for the wedding, she couldn't care less.

Oh well..cest la vie! My day will be perfect for me fh and MY family!

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We are paying for the wedding on our own but I thought it would be nice to include both parents on the invitation just for tradition's sake but I feel like there's no way in hell I'm putting their name there. FH is bothered by that so maybe it'll be just us on the invite.

Ultimately we will have a lovely day and my awesome family will more than make up for their coldness.

so sorry
hope things get better

awww i am so sorry

is she just the type of person who is not into any of these things? And not that shes not into YOUR wedding but i mean, is she just not into the whole planning a wedding and all the details. Regardless she should at least answer your emails, that is very rude. Have you asked her in person to do things with you and if so what does she say when you ask in person? Can your FH talk to her, or can you talk to her and say you would love to do so and so with her.

Sorry youre dealing with this.

I was mad when I started this post but now I'm just sad.
I have tried to include this woman in just about everything.
FH and I are paying for the wedding on our own but my family is very interested in what is going on. So when food tastings came up or dj showcases came up, people in my family tagged along and it only seemed naturally to extend an invitation to her. I have personally asked her to come to church with me, to trips to the museum, Christmas dinner. Even if she says outright that it sounds like fun, she will later call FH and tell him that she's not coming. So now I ask FH to run things by her and the answer is always no.

I don't want to try anymore but I am thinking about our future children. And I don't want to hurt FH either because while he doesn't agree with their behavior (the dad is like that too) they are still his parents and I'm sure he doesn't want to be in the middle.

Thanks for listening

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Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri

My FMIL does not meddle. She does not argue about anything wedding-related. She didn't have a fit about the guest list.

So why am I complaining?

Because she doesn't effin care about anything that has to do with the wedding!!! FH wants me to include her but there has been zero interest on her part. Phone calls are not returned , emails are almost never answered. We both have aol addresses so I know she reads them.

I feel like she doesn't approve but doesn't have the nerve to say it. Like she thinks I'm not good enough for her baby boy. I wonder if this is how they are going to be when we have children -- FH says no but their track record speaks for itself.

Normally I would say F you but of course I can't. Her MOG dress will probably be all black with a black veil and she'll weep bitterly during the ceremony, lol

people s u c k ( vent over)

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I can totally relate while i was planning the whole wedding me and husband had just bought a house mother in law ONLY spoke about the house and how nice it is yadda yadda yadda NEVER once offered to do anything wedding related with me(my mother passed away 12 years ago) so you think she would want to help me out right she didnt ...well now she wants to help me pick out my thank you cards....I did it myself do i sound bitter??? but i know how it is some people are just rude and have no interest

enjoy this time dont let her get you down

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Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri

I was mad when I started this post but now I'm just sad.
I have tried to include this woman in just about everything.
FH and I are paying for the wedding on our own but my family is very interested in what is going on. So when food tastings came up or dj showcases came up, people in my family tagged along and it only seemed naturally to extend an invitation to her. I have personally asked her to come to church with me, to trips to the museum, Christmas dinner. Even if she says outright that it sounds like fun, she will later call FH and tell him that she's not coming. So now I ask FH to run things by her and the answer is always no.

I don't want to try anymore but I am thinking about our future children. And I don't want to hurt FH either because while he doesn't agree with their behavior (the dad is like that too) they are still his parents and I'm sure he doesn't want to be in the middle.

Thanks for listening

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is she just like this with everything? never wanting to do anything or go anywhere? Sorry youre dealing with but just sounds like its not you just how she is in general. And about your future kids, she will be the one missing out if she is still like that. If your family is so involved then your kids will be alot closer to your parents and rest of the family and then it might hit her.

Ok - I hear exactly what you are saying.

I would state to FH very nicely and cleary:

'honey, I have tried many times, and have been unsuccessful in trying to include your mother. Here are a number of emails and phone calls that have gone unreturned. The wedding is coming up and im all over the place. I can not push her to be included if she doesnt want to be. She has my messages and will respond if she wants to. Its up to her now to be a part of it. Ive done all I can'

ANd THATS IT!!!

You cant push her to do anything and u plainly see her lack of desire. If he wants to include her tell him to make it his priortity for him to do it, but uve done ur part.

Today she asked FH where she should get her MOG gown -- I sent her that information on March 6th. I sent her pics of gowns with website links -- like every MOB/MOG designer I could find. I sent it my mom too -- my mom got on it and already ordered her gown.

I thought about it a lot today and I don't think it's me. For a long time I took it personally but now I think it has nothing to do with me. It's really sad because soon the babies will come. I won't allow them to be so wishy-washy with a child -- a child will be very hurt by the lack of interest. I think FH and I will have to sit down and have a serious talk about this.

Thank you girls for the thoughtful words of advice

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Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri

Today she asked FH where she should get her MOG gown -- I sent her that information on March 6th. I sent her pics of gowns with website links -- like every MOB/MOG designer I could find. I sent it my mom too -- my mom got on it and already ordered her gown.

I thought about it a lot today and I don't think it's me. For a long time I took it personally but now I think it has nothing to do with me. It's really sad because soon the babies will come. I won't allow them to be so wishy-washy with a child -- a child will be very hurt by the lack of interest. I think FH and I will have to sit down and have a serious talk about this.

Thank you girls for the thoughtful words of advice

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why is she asking your fh, like hes going to know lol.

Hopefully she will realize things soon and change her ways but from the sounds of it, you did nothing wrong and seems like you tried your best and did as much as you can, now its all on her.

Maybe your fh can talk to her and open her eyes a little bit

good luck

wow ..i think you were inside my head today...i had the exact same argument with FH today.....his mom never calls me back, doesnt contribute financially nor emotionally to this wedding. FH is her only son, so i feel the same way...she was so involved in her daughters wedding but she wants nothing to do with this wedding. She screamed at me when i told her we werent having kids and she told me that half of her family wont come i said tough crap!! my mom is paying for it herself! shes a single mom....she cant aford to feed the world! you want kids, you pay for them

im sorry your FMIL is like that, but just know that you arent the only one who has one like that :)