Vent: Future SIL is a PIA

Yep, a royal pain in my keester. This is going to be a LONG rant!

Fh and I have been together almost 6 years.

Fh doesn't really like his sister, but he maintains contact with her because he loves his niece and nephew. he always warned me about her, but she was always extremely nice to me so I really had no problem with her.

That all changed last year. FH's mom had surgery while his dad was also having medical problems. I took a few days off from work to help them in whatever way I could.

Apparently Fh's mom spent the next few weeks telling people how great I was, how much I helped out, etc. This did not sit will with his sister, who has always tried to be the best, the favorite, the perfect one. So, since then she has really had it in for me.

Now, I feel like I am in high school again with all this drama she is causing. I had to remove her from my Facebook friend's list because Monday was the third time she tried to start drama with me on that site. She basically runs and tells FH's mom EVERYTHING I post, which granted is nothing bad, but tried to put a negative spin on it.

I mean, how old are we? She is using the internet to lash out at me? She never speaks to me in person, and in fact the last 4 times I have seen her she refused to acknowledge my presence.

She is basically trying to turn his mom and family against me. It has worked with FH's younger sister, who instead of ignoring me makes snotty comments and rolls her eyes. His mom tried to take a middle ground, and well his dad just last week said I was the best thing to ever happen to Nick. So that was really sweet.

I just wish she would act her age. She has 2 children, a third on the way, and other things to be preoccupied with - like the fact her husband is broke and they are trying to repo his car. But apparently trying to cause drama with me is a high on her priority list.

Some people just thrive on drama. It sounds to me like she might be one of those people. And exaclty what you said they are broke with almost 3 children, and no car. Well she is trying to deflect her scared, negative feelings on you to make herself and her life seem better.

Has FH talked to her.? It sounds like you don't have to worry to much about his parents which is good. His little sister, I don't know how old she is, but I am sure once she gets a little older and get the WHOLE story she will get over it. Sorry to have to deal with this sh!t, it is really childish.

Unfortunatley some people just can't be happy for others and will do anything to bring people down. Try not to let it bother you so much, if you act like it's less of a big deal to you. It will only infurate her more and then you can just sit back and laugh, bc really, what is this 9th freakin grade?

it's a simple fact that misery loves company...thats the easiest way to describe how she is acting...

Just continue to take the high road and you will come out on top in the end!!

Sorry you have to deal with this

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Posted by soontobecruz

Has FH talked to her.? It sounds like you don't have to worry to much about his parents which is good. His little sister, I don't know how old she is, but I am sure once she gets a little older and get the WHOLE story she will get over it. Sorry to have to deal with this sh!t, it is really childish.

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Fh just shrugs and says 'hey, I warned you'. That sounds bad in writing, but really, he knows if he confronts her it will turn into some HUGE family drama. It has in the past. Which is what kills me, the whole family lets her get away with acting like that for the sake of peace.

And his 'younger' sister is 30. The 2 of them are stay at home moms and spend all day together, so she has had plenty of time to turn her. The 2 of them ganging up against people is nothing new, that too has been happening for years.

I am trying to take the high road here but it really bugs the crap out of me.

A third one on the way....... could it be her hormones?

if not im so sorry you have to deal with this drama

wow she's a total beeeeep! for trying to do that on facebook but kind of funny! she just has nothing better to do huh?

I am sorry you are going thru this and hopes this gets fixed quick. I think you are doing a good job but ignoring her! its the best way she will get over it eventually

She's afraid that her mommy will like you more!!!! She needs to have a reality check and realize that the relationship you have with your FMIL totally different level then the relationship she has with her mother! She is insecure and get her priorities striaght..

I'd tell you to ignore her, however I know if I was being treated like that it would really get me upset. Just take her for who she is and treat her accordingly..

I pretty much ignore her back. Fh knows however that at any family functions he is NOT to leave me alone. Because the 2 of them can really be unbearable when I am left alone with them.

I sometimes think FH is kind of clueless when it comes to these things, because he is like 'my younger sister loves you, she told me she has not problems with you.' Yet even he admits the last 2 times we saw he she was extremely snipping towards me.

His little sister is also pregnant. I am so, so very glad we pushed the wedding back to 2010. The last thing I wanted to do was spend the few months before my weddings (bachelorette parties, showers, rehearsal dinners) trying to compete with their newborns. And I am 100% sure they would have brought their infants to the ceremony and reception.

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Posted by soontobecruz

Some people just thrive on drama. It sounds to me like she might be one of those people. And exaclty what you said they are broke with almost 3 children, and no car. Well she is trying to deflect her scared, negative feelings on you to make herself and her life seem better.

Has FH talked to her.? It sounds like you don't have to worry to much about his parents which is good. His little sister, I don't know how old she is, but I am sure once she gets a little older and get the WHOLE story she will get over it. Sorry to have to deal with this sh!t, it is really childish.

Unfortunatley some people just can't be happy for others and will do anything to bring people down. Try not to let it bother you so much, if you act like it's less of a big deal to you. It will only infurate her more and then you can just sit back and laugh, bc really, what is this 9th freakin grade?

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I agree with my cousin!!! And I also think this woman is extremely insecure. Like a previous poster said, her relationship with her mother is COMPLETELY different than your relationship with your FMIL. That's her actual CHILD. So why is this woman so threatened?? The whole thing is pretty absurd.

Well they both sound pretty sad. I say feel bad for them they thay have nothing better to do than to spread nasty rumors.

Try and take the high road, and remember what goes around comes around.

I was in the same situation with my FSIL. She was going behind my back with stupid high school nonsence. So last Thanksgiving in front of the whole family I simply asked 'why are you doing this & that to me? Have I offended you in some way? if so....I'm sorry. If I have not offended you.... can you explain yourself?' My FFIL said ' Yea what's the story here?'
The embarrassment cooled her jets & we have best of friends ever since. She has the ability to turn at any moment however, I don't think she will give me anymore nonsence.

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Posted by italgal

I was in the same situation with my FSIL. She was going behind my back with stupid high school nonsence. So last Thanksgiving in front of the whole family I simply asked 'why are you doing this & that to me? Have I offended you in some way? if so....I'm sorry. If I have not offended you.... can you explain yourself?' My FFIL said ' Yea what's the story here?'
The embarrassment cooled her jets & we have best of friends ever since. She has the ability to turn at any moment however, I don't think she will give me anymore nonsence.

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I would love to do that. but after spending almost 6 years in this family, I know direct approaches don't work. She is not a rational person. She will never admit she is wrong or has done anything wrong. That is why the rest of the family always lets her get away with acting like this. No family arguments with her ever get resolved because she will never admit she has done anything wrong.

That is what is most frustrating about the whole thing, trying to be rational and acting like and adult simply doesn't work . I sort of tried over the summer to talk it out with her, and all she did was deny everything then talk about me more behind my back.

Like it has been said, misery loves company. She is miserable, has been for most of her life. And she looks for ways to make others just as miserable. Nothing more than a bully.

I totally agree with all the others. She's obviously jealous of you. The best revenge is to be happy and not let her get to you as hard as that may be. Kill her with kindness

The love you both have for each will help you through. I guess she doesn't sleep at night, since she keep thinking of way to bother you.