Vent... I really can't take this anymore... (LONG!)

Vent... I really can't take this anymore... (LONG!)

So I posted the other day about FFIL trying to add another guest after I already sent out the invitations. I simply told him that we ran out of invitations when I emailed him back and asked if this was a close family member. All he wrote back to me was two words: Good friend. Ok first of all, if this was such a good friend, why didn't you think of him when I asked for the original list back in November?

Anways, I thought that would be the end of it, FH said he would take care of it. Today FMIL calls me and asks me again if they can invite this person. I told her the same thing I told FFIL. She proceeds to then tell me that she will resend one of the invitations that they have to this person!!!

I then almost lost it, I kinda just sat there silently for a second because I didn't know what to say. I don't even know how I controlled myself and I said well where are you going to get an envelope? She's like i'll just buy a new one in a stationary store.

I then proceeded to tell her that the guest list is way out of control, and we really can't be adding anyone at all now. She then tries arguing with me that so many people from her side are going to say no.

I told her that I really need to discuss this with my parents since they are the ones paying. What i'm really going to do is just tell FH to tell them that the list is closed and that is the end of it. I don't want to hear any more!!!

Re: Vent... I really can't take this anymore... (LONG!)

WOW! They are too much. Im sorry you have to deal with them. What horrible behavior on their part especially considering your parents are the one footing the bill.

Re: Vent... I really can't take this anymore... (LONG!)

I can't stand people and their bullying.

I know what it's like to have to respect your elders and your FILs and everything but when people start taking advantage of you - you really need to act like an adult and not a pushover.

If your FMIL calls again tell her about the guest list and how you can't afford to add another person but if they would like to pony up $300 or so for two people - fine - then invite them.

Let your FMIL know that you are in an awkward situation because the wedding is a gift and you certainly don't want to say - I love your gift but I want to invite more people.

Let her know it's not fair. Yes, your FH needs to say something - but she called YOU. Not FH, you. Stand up to your FILs.

Don't be bullied.

Re: Vent... I really can't take this anymore... (LONG!)

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Posted by LuvMyAlfonse

I can't stand people and their bullying.

I know what it's like to have to respect your elders and your FILs and everything but when people start taking advantage of you - you really need to act like an adult and not a pushover.

If your FMIL calls again tell her about the guest list and how you can't afford to add another person but if they would like to pony up $300 or so for two people - fine - then invite them.

Let your FMIL know that you are in an awkward situation because the wedding is a gift and you certainly don't want to say - I love your gift but I want to invite more people.

Let her know it's not fair. Yes, your FH needs to say something - but she called YOU. Not FH, you. Stand up to your FILs.

Don't be bullied.

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I couldn't have said it better! I think it is very important that you set the boundries now, and also say if it is that important , let them pay!

Re: Vent... I really can't take this anymore... (LONG!)

Wow, sorry this is happening. You really have to stand up for yourself. I made it clear to family and friends that our guest list is only the closest of family and friends and anyone else we know well or not so well can't get offended...we didn't want a big, huge shi-bang and we know we'd have to control it. You have to stop this before you are over 400 OUCH!

Re: Vent... I really can't take this anymore... (LONG!)

Thanks girls, I really needed your support! I really do need to stand up for myself... FH wants to talk to them first though... we'll see what happens. I do have to see them this weekend though. We're going out to dinner after FH and I graduate to Morton's Steakhouse... it might be a good idea to keep the steak knives away from me...

Re: Vent... I really can't take this anymore... (LONG!)

OMG I am totally sorry to hear such craziness. Your words should have been well respected instead of them doing as they pleased. It's your wedding not theirs. And you was right on point, they should have added them to the list a long time ago if they are so-called 'Good Friends'. I just can't seem to understand why FIL's think they can control things. It's one thing if they were paying for the entire wedding then they can add everyone in the world. That totally blows my mind. These FILs and anyone else that butts in really needs to realize and recognize that wedding expenses are no joke nowadays. You are good that you kept your composure. Oh and what I can't stand is how whey they threaten how their side of the family will not attend unless that one party goes. Like what kind of crap is that. People just has no type of consideration. None whatsoever!! Keep your head up sweetie and stay focused.

Re: Vent... I really can't take this anymore... (LONG!)

wow they have some nerve!!! they arent paying and keep adding people??? i would definatly tell them it has to stop!! so sorry they are taking advantage of you

Re: Vent... I really can't take this anymore... (LONG!)

Just wanted to update you all on what happened now... FH talked to his mom, and they got in a huge fight about it. But it basically ended with him telling them that they are not invited and that it was his decision. (He realizes how rediculous they are being). He also told them he never wants to hear about it again, and he doesn't want it brought up to me ever again either!

I really hope things go ok on Saturday... our graduation dinner should be fun...