VENT! Is this a generation gap thing???

My mom doesn't understand why I want to get my makeup done for the wedding and why I can't just show up at a salon for my hair the day of my wedding. Why do we need a limo if we're not getting married at a church (at the Hall) ... (p.s. I am paying for all this stuff myself anyway, so why care?!)

My future MIL doesn't know why we don't want pricey china we don't want and doesn't 'get' my style or color scheme or ideas for themes. I want to keep everything a secret from her to stop the questioning, but he keeps telling her what we're doing. UGH! I can't take her commentary!

Is anyone else having this like, GENERATION GAP problem. Like all everyone keeps talking about is how 'in their day, the shower was a few people over for lunch and you got some Pyrex' or how nobody goes overnight for a bachelorette party.

Nobody else seems to talk about this on the boards. I'm starting to think our moms are the only ones who just aren't up on the times.

Also, like constantly comparing us to our cousins and their friend's daughters who got married. Enough already... Ugh.

I used to the comparisons every once in a while...even better...MIL used to compare whatever we were doing to what she did when she got married (which was in the backyard dressed in a mini-skirt with flowers in her hair).

During the whole planning process, I didn't give people very many details of what was going on for that reason--I did not want to hear any comparisons and criticisms about what we were doing. It pissed everyone off, but it was the best way for us to deal with it.

I think my mom knows more about weddings today than I do since a lot of her friends have married or engaged daughters, and they have been to a lot of weddings. As for FH's family, who knows. They all live OOT and I'm pretty sure his parents got married at the church and then had cake and punch in the basement afterwards. MOB made his mom's dress and BM dresses.

Needless to say our wedding will be a little different..

Yeah, the women I work with are more up to date on all this having helped their daughters. My mom is just giving me weird attitude about everything for some reason.

I agree, keeping things a surprise is the best way to go, now if I can get my FH to just say 'I don't know' when his mom asks him 100 questions about everything, we'll be OK.

Ha ha!

Thanks for your input

I totally understand you!

My mother, too, wanted to serve pizza at the bridal shower!

And she doesn't understand why I need a make up artist when I can just do the make up myself and save the $$.

I'm paying for the whole thing, so it's really none of her business.

Then my parents told me that just to save $$, I should not put a CP on their table. Ridiculous!

I love it! No CP on their table! So glad other people have had to deal with this, I thought it was just us.

Speaking of the shower - my MOH wanted to do a tea party for my shower - knowing I'd LOVE that. My mom was all, 'Our family is used to Italian food at showers, they will be giving gifts, nobody will be happy with a finger sandwich and tea.' Oh well.

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Posted by blurgirlny

I love it! No CP on their table! So glad other people have had to deal with this, I thought it was just us.

Speaking of the shower - my MOH wanted to do a tea party for my shower - knowing I'd LOVE that. My mom was all, 'Our family is used to Italian food at showers, they will be giving gifts, nobody will be happy with a finger sandwich and tea.' Oh well.

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LOL @ the tea party...

It's definitely a generation gap! Wedding's have evolved 10-fold since our parent's day.
My mom's favorite saying is 'Well, I don't know how I got married twice--I didn't do any of this stuff.' Obviously, she's being sarcastic and trying to tell me I don't need it. But it's definitely a different time.

Oh and I wanted to send out Rehearsal Dinner invites (and say that FILs were throwing) and FMIL thought it was ridiculous and said no.
Fine, less for me to do, but I have to tell everyone somehow and I thought an invite was nicer than a mass email!

My mom just keeps saying:

'But, that's what EVERYONE does'

News flash-- I have NEVER cared what everyone does!! I want things my way, to be a little different and just cause that's how I like it. My Fh agrees with me, but doesn't like to get in between me & Mom. Grrrr

I feel your pain.

My mom went through all of this with my sister a few years ago, so she is more understanding than she would be, I think ... but somehow she doesn't understand you need to book vendors like the band and photog WAYYYY in advance. She forgets, I guess, that she did the same thing with my sister.

I thought I was the only one in this situation. Both my mom and FMIL are amazing and I love them both to death BUT they are both stuck in another generation!!!!!!

I have been asked why I need to hire a make up and hair vendor (by FMIL) and asked by my mom why I need to make a card box-she thinks it's tacky because we're leaving a box up front for people to put cards in. Is it less tacky to walk around with a bag and ask people for their card? Both mom and FMIL don't understand why I want to make petal cones or tear packs... Isn't it a waste of time-no one will ever notice? We didn't do that stuff! FMIL does not understand why I want a DOC for the day of... I tried explaining because I have a crazy family and if I don't hire someone to help me, I will be pawning off all the crazy people on them That made her understand my need for one a little. FMIL asked me why we bothered getting our epics and when I explained they were part of our package and i wanted to incorporate them into the table numbers- she asked me whY i was putting so much time into all of this.

Don't get me wrong- both my mom and FMIL are really great but they are from a different time. You're not in this alone....

Forgot about this one ... mentioned a while ago to FMIL that I was wearing a tiara, and she was like, 'Oh, you're wearing a tiara??' She might as well have said, 'Why would you want to wear a tacky tiara?'

Funny, I thought about the clear wrap but then, sadly thought what the heck will we all do for 2 hours. Ha ha!

I also mentioned a tiara and was told 'HUH? WHAT? WHO WEARS THAT?'