VENT!!! (kinda long, sorry)

this is my first real vent... i have been having such good luck for the 5 months i have been engaged so far... no fights, no BM or MOH troubles, but it is less than 5 months till the wedding now, and the MOG still hasn't even started looking for her dress!! she has said since FH and i got engaged that she wants to lose weight before she gets her dress, but that hasn't happened yet, and now it's getting close...

and on top of all that, i found out from my mom that one BM (FSIL) owes her a significant amount of money, for what i don't know, i am guessing the shower, and the other day when MOH (my sister) asked her for the $, she said 'ask my parents'!!!!! she is 19, almost 20, and has a job, but she spends it all on her dog and boyfriend. my MOH told FSIL to ask her parents herself, but if she doesn't i don't know what i will do. i vented to FH and he was so supportive, he knows how his mom and sister are, but i made him promise not to say anything. i don't know what i would do without him...

thanks for letting me vent girls!! i know it will all turn out ok, but i am very upset right now!

Keep your head up girl!!!

You're singing the In Law blues...but its good that your FH is supportive like that. Good Luck and like you said it will turn out fine.

Ugh.........My FMIL hasn't started looking either....

Actually when I asked her about it the other day she said that she might just wear what she wore to her Daughter wedding.......ummmm...Which one the youngest has been married for almost 12 years........Are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had the same situation with my mom. She was dieting like crazy and put off getting a dress until the month before my wedding! I lost sleep over it, she was all stressed out too.

If all else fails go to Lord & Taylor in the city. They have a HUGE dress selection. That's what we wound up doing and my mom found her dream dress. We were really amazed. (pics are in my album and review).



Edited to add photos. My MIL also got her dress from Lord & Taylor too.

Hey, my mom didn't start looking for her dress until three weeks before the wedding. Yep, that was stressful. She did find something, and it wasn't SO bad, as I'm having an afternoon wedding, not a black tie evening one, but still, I wanted her to look a long time ago.

Ain't in-laws fun? I'm having a LOT of fun right now with some of mine, on both sides. It's amazing the stuff that comes up when a wedding is in the offing.

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Posted by dgirl

I had the same situation with my mom. She was dieting like crazy and put off getting a dress until the month before my wedding! I lost sleep over it, she was all stressed out too.

If all else fails go to Lord & Taylor in the city. They have a HUGE dress selection. That's what we wound up doing and my mom found her dream dress. We were really amazed. (pics are in my album and review).



Edited to add photos. My MIL also got her dress from Lord & Taylor too.

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those dresses are gorgeous!! i can't tell you how many times i have suggested places for MOG to look... and she just says yeah i have to get on that... and does nothing!! my mom and i have even offered to go with her... i am just afraid she will show up with leggings on like she usually wears

i knew what i was getting into when i said 'yes' but still...

Thank you!!

I totally hear you. My mom didn't even give it a thought until about 6 weeks before. Then it was a big huge stressful emergency. It took us 2 weeks to get into the city to go there, but she found her dress within 15 minutes of being there and it was such a relief!! I got really frustrated about how long she put it off for, but then I realized it was because she just didn't feel all that good about herself and it calmed me down and made me feel for her.

Good luck!!! It will definitely all work out!

wow that sounds just like my FMIL & FSIL (also BM) i'm sorry you're getting crap from them too!!! my FMIL even went so far as to tell my FH that she doesn't understand why I even have to have a Bridal Shower, that it's just too expensive and my Mom should just suck it up and have the party at her house (because my Mom and MOH decided to rent our a restaurant). The sick part is, my Mom is paying for MOST OF IT and FMIL isn't paying a dime (except that FSIL asked her to pay her portion)

I understand the FMIL issue completely. My FMIL hasn't even started looking for a dress yet and the wedding is 1 month from today!!!! She claims she wants to loose weight. We've been engaged for over a year and she decided to start trying to loose weight last week! But I don't care at this point. I have my dress, my mom has her dress, and that's all that matters.
FMILs

thank you so much ladies... it seems like FMIL and FSIL drama is almost the norm!! and i do have my dress, and my mom has hers, so i guess that's what matters most! i guess what i feel bad about is that i asked FSIL to be a BM in the first place... she probably would have been very upset if i didn't ask, but now my other BMs and MOH have to deal with her irresponsibility, which i feel responsible for because i asked her!!! but i guess a rift in the family would have been worse, had i not asked her... argh!!

I didn't realize FSIL was giving you such a problem! Up until this point she hasn't wanted to do much! Guess it runs in the family. You know the rest of your BM will get on top of it!! I can't wait to see what grief my in-laws will give me in the future!
(ps- look, my first post just for you! )

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Posted by bigrd37

I didn't realize FSIL was giving you such a problem! Up until this point she hasn't wanted to do much! Guess it runs in the family. You know the rest of your BM will get on top of it!! I can't wait to see what grief my in-laws will give me in the future!
(ps- look, my first post just for you! )

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lol - you cheater!!! now i can't talk about you or any of the other BM's on here... i am not surprised she hasn't wanted to do much, every time i tell her or FMIL something about my wedding, she gets upset and tells me she wanted to do that for her wedding!! and she's nowhere near getting engaged yet!!! grrrr....

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Posted by LB and DC

this is my first real vent... i have been having such good luck for the 5 months i have been engaged so far... no fights, no BM or MOH troubles, but it is less than 5 months till the wedding now, and the MOG still hasn't even started looking for her dress!! she has said since FH and i got engaged that she wants to lose weight before she gets her dress, but that hasn't happened yet, and now it's getting close...

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OMG I know exactly how you feel! FMIL told me the same thing thankfully she went in April to get her dress and found one that she liked had it ordered and it'll be done in time.
As far as your FMIL goes, my Mom gave me a good piece of advice, 'You have your dress, your BM and MOB have theirs, the GM have tuxes, don't worry about what she's wearing it isn't your problem'

As far as the money goes if it is for your shower and it's supposed to be a surprise then don't stress about it. You're not even supposed to know about it, therefore you can't drive yourself crazy about it. AND if anyone tries to tell you about the shower good or bad, tell them you aren't supposed to know about it so don't tell you.

HTH

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Posted by mycrayon1

As far as your FMIL goes, my Mom gave me a good piece of advice, 'You have your dress, your BM and MOB have theirs, the GM have tuxes, don't worry about what she's wearing it isn't your problem'

As far as the money goes if it is for your shower and it's supposed to be a surprise then don't stress about it. You're not even supposed to know about it, therefore you can't drive yourself crazy about it. AND if anyone tries to tell you about the shower good or bad, tell them you aren't supposed to know about it so don't tell you.

HTH

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you are so right. thank you!!! i will just not stress about it and let my wonderful mother, MOH and BMs take care of everything like they have been doing all along!

You MIL will find a dress in tme for your wedding...no wories..

the $$ situation will get cleared up as well!

try to relax

Ugh, I went through almost the exact same thing with my FIL's. It drove me nuts! Here's my advice:

Stop stressing about your FMIL's dress or lack there of. That's her problem, not yours. She will find one, don't worry. And even if she shows up to the wedding naked, it still won't matter because you are going to have your beautiful wedding and no one will even notice what she is (or is not) wearing.

Second, and I cannot stress this one enough, stay out of all shower planning, stressing, and money collecting. The shower is not your concern. Your family and FIL's will work it out. Trust me, the minute you get involved it will be very hard to uninvolve yourself and you will regret it. Been there, done that. If anyone tries to bring it up, kindly remind them that the shower is a surprise and you don't want to hear ANYTHING about it.

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Posted by BlushingBride714

Ugh, I went through almost the exact same thing with my FIL's. It drove me nuts! Here's my advice:

Stop stressing about your FMIL's dress or lack there of. That's her problem, not yours. She will find one, don't worry. And even if she shows up to the wedding naked, it still won't matter because you are going to have your beautiful wedding and no one will even notice what she is (or is not) wearing.

Second, and I cannot stress this one enough, stay out of all shower planning, stressing, and money collecting. The shower is not your concern. Your family and FIL's will work it out. Trust me, the minute you get involved it will be very hard to uninvolve yourself and you will regret it. Been there, done that. If anyone tries to bring it up, kindly remind them that the shower is a surprise and you don't want to hear ANYTHING about it.

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i am so glad i am not alone here!! you ladies give the best advice! you are all right, i am going to stop stressing and just let it happen.

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Posted by LB and DC

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Posted by BlushingBride714

Ugh, I went through almost the exact same thing with my FIL's. It drove me nuts! Here's my advice:

Stop stressing about your FMIL's dress or lack there of. That's her problem, not yours. She will find one, don't worry. And even if she shows up to the wedding naked, it still won't matter because you are going to have your beautiful wedding and no one will even notice what she is (or is not) wearing.

Second, and I cannot stress this one enough, stay out of all shower planning, stressing, and money collecting. The shower is not your concern. Your family and FIL's will work it out. Trust me, the minute you get involved it will be very hard to uninvolve yourself and you will regret it. Been there, done that. If anyone tries to bring it up, kindly remind them that the shower is a surprise and you don't want to hear ANYTHING about it.

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i am so glad i am not alone here!! you ladies give the best advice! you are all right, i am going to stop stressing and just let it happen.

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You are def not alone. I think these problems are a right of passage - every bride goes through them or something similar. Keep your head up, it will all work out.