Vent: My MOH is moving OUT OF THE COUNTRY...

. . . before the wedding!!!

I need to preface this by saying I love this person -- she is my college roommate, long-time travelling companion, and best friend, but she often makes rushed (and I think bad) decisions.

Long story short -- her boyfriend's family lives overseas and on her last trip there she was offered a job. It seems like an exciting opportunity, but the job starts immediately. In order to take it she has to totally turn her life upside down in like 2 weeks and then acclimate to living in a country where she doesn't speak the language, etc, etc.

My wedding is in 10 weeks. She says that she will come back for both my shower (which my mom and other BMs are planning apparently w/o much help from MOH) and my wedding, but she has flaked on many plans in the past (including a trip overseas that she and I were to take -- I ended up going alone).

Another BM has already been serving as an unofficial MOH -- and I don't want to seem like a ***** and 'demote' the original MOH, but I just don't feel like I can rely on her to even be at my wedding if she decides to go through with this major life change, let alone 'be there for me' in the weeks and days leading up to my wedding -- the way a MOH should.

I'm just so sad about it . . . and I don't know what to do

any advice appreciated . . .

First off.....
I'm very sorry to hear this crappy news.

I hate to say it, but I think I would demote her and have the other BM step up. Only because you deserve to have a great shower and wedding experience! I'd hate to see you be disappointed in the long run.

Honestly, sounds like BMs have already taken over and they are obviously going to have to take over her duties while she's gone. I think whether or not you call this girl your MOH, the BMs are the true MOHs. It's just a matter of whether or not you want her to have that title. Sounds like you have a good bridal party, so don't stress things won't get done - someone will do what needs to be done for you.

I totally understand your frustration...but sometimes these things happen. Your friend will still be there to support you. It's wonderful that she will come to the shower and wedding from overseas...shows how dedicated she is to your friendship.

hugs!!

here is a
don't even think about demoting her from MOH. the last thing u want is to hurt anyone's feelings, especially one of your good friends.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

My thoughts: You chose her to be your MOH for a reason, and it may not have had much to do with your expectations of her organizing your shower or being of any practical help in the weeks leading up to your wedding. It sounds like you chose her because she is your best friend. Leave her as the MOH and if she doesn't come to the wedding, promote one of your other BMs. Let her 'demote' herself if she chooses.

You have some wonderful other BMs who will more than make up for an absentee MOH. Let them know how much you appreciate their support, too.

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Posted by alicegetsmarried

Honestly, I'm sorry that this will cause you stress but I think we brides sometimes forget that our wedding is not the priority of everyone else's lives. If I were you I would be so psyched for my friend. I mean she'll be there for the shower and wedding. I know if that was one of my best friends, I'd be so excited for her. JUST MY OPINION!!!! Please don't let it ruin your special time.

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You took the words out of my mouth