vent-problems with DH - i feel sick

i know i haven't been posting as frequently on here but i really need you girls right now! I feel like running out the door. DH and I just had our first major fight as a married couple...it was over something so stupid too....he's all stressed bc he works long hours (so do i) and i'm helping him fill out this online application for something and he gets so frustrated at me and starts giving me attitude....he always does this when i'm trying to help...so of course i give him attitude back and he blows up!! he slammed his computer with his fists and now the screen is completely broke!! (his friggin Macbook!!) those things are not cheap either and we are on friggin student loans still. I'm not so much as pissed that it broke as I am at the fact he could make a tremendous, temper-tantrum out of something so little! He came back in the room like 3 minutes later all pissed and screaming, saying that I broke his computer..that this is my FAULT!!! it was like seeing a friggin gorilla...i know this sounds really bad of me...but i knew there were bad sides to him of course but i've never seen it this dramatic! i'm not scared or anything but I am shocked! I cannot believe he would act like this. i feel soooo mad, and disappointed right now that i don't know what to do. i want to crawl into a deep bed and not come out.

sorry for the crazy long vent.
**please do not quote**

All I can say Sandy is that you guys are under a lot of stress that most of the rest of us don't have... what you guys do is really greuling, more so than what many of us have to deal with every day and you just got married on top of that.. that's a big adjustment... and while none of this excuses that kind of behavior... it's understandable.

It'll blow over. You guys will talk about it when things are calmer. Try not to be too upset.

Im sorry to hear this

just try to give him space and let the situation calm down a bit...good things can never come of 2 people angry and upset at the same time

Im sure all will be fine in the morning

Take a very deep breath (I know easier said than done), and just realize that everything will be okay in the end. I know in the heat of the moment it's so hard to see that, but everything will work out. Just give him some space and it will all work out. I'm sorry you have to deal with this

I can empathize. FH is the nicest person in the whole world, and would never hurt a fly, but in January, we got into a MASSIVE blowout (til this day we refer to it simply as 'the fight') which started as a nasty screaming match and ended with him punching a huge hole through our bedroom door.

Needless to say, I know he would never lay a hand on me, of course, but it was still scary and unsettling seeing such an ugly side of someone I love so much.

I'm sure he's 'blaming' you because he feels like an idiot for the way he acted, and lets face it, we all loveee to find a scapegoat whenever we've had a not so proud moment.

Let him throw his fit, go to a spa/salon, get a mani/pedi or massage and just take a moment to pull yourself away from that situation.

I am sooo sorry Sandy....
Every relationship has very 'rocky' moments chica...
Right now BOTH of u are under TONS of stress... and have so many things to do, PLUS are starting to live together as a married couple (which adds more pressure to the whole issue)...
Try to just get little space right now UNTIL both of you are more calm...
perhaps tomorrow have a conversation..

I am so sorry Sandy I am sure we are ALL going to get to some rocky moments, i havent got there but scares me.... but remember? What doesnt kill u, makes u stronger... Rocky moments will make ur realtionship stronger chica...

I agree, when FH gets in one of his moods I usually just walk away and let him figure it out on his own...because if I stick around he ends up saying something stupid he then has to apologize for later. We learned after all our fights that this is the best method for us...now he actually started letting me know when to give him a moment to calm down if he's feeling anxious/overwhelmed or upset about something.
Men can be such hotheads sometimes, usually a chill pill is all it takes