So I need to vent and this vent may seem a little selfish to some.
FH's cousin got engaged like a month after him and I got engaged. They set the date for Jan. 2010, which is great. Well this weekend I found out they are having their engagement party on 9/20. Now my bridal shower is supposed to be in late-Aug./mid Sept. but invitations haven't gone out yet. So here comes my vent....I feel like it was totally rude of them to have their engagement party so close to my bridal shower and wedding. I feel like this because they know that my bridal shower is coming up around a similar time and they know our weddinng date. We have almost all the same guests on FH's side and now they have to come up with more gifts. I'm just pissed because i felt it was rude and totally inconsiderate of FH and I and of FH's guests to do that....especially when they're not even getting married anytime soon.
Should my BP still plan the bridal shower for lat-aug./mid-sept? Will it look bad if we still go ahead with that plan??????
FutureMrs.T
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Re: Vent & Question - FH's cousin
My honest opinion....you are overreacting. Its not like they planned their wedding the weekend before yours. Its just an engagement party. I think we sometimes, as brides, lose sight of the fact that the world does not revolve around us. People cant plan their 'life events' around our weddings. Its not fair to them either to put their life on hold. They are excited, they want to celebrate too. Just my honest opinion, let it go.
anamaree77
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Re: Vent & Question - FH's cousin
I can understand how you feel but IMO I would let it go. My cousin had her baby shower 2 weeks before mine and it did upset me a little bit at first. However, when my shower came, everyone was just as excited for me and it didn't affect it at all. Don't pay it any mind, just enjoy their day b/c i'm sure they're not doing it on purpose. I agree with what the person above said, as brides we sometimes think the world revolves around us but it doesn't. Don't worry about it.
Snick n Nick
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Re: Vent & Question - FH's cousin
I have to agree with PP, I think your are overreacting a little bit....you're getting married first, they certainly aren't stealing your thunder! Think about it this way--your FH's family gets to celebrate for both of you, not that they have to scramble for 2 gifts.....don't worry about it! be happy for them!
MrsHtobe
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Re: Vent & Question - FH's cousin
Posted by FutureMrs.T
My honest opinion....you are overreacting. Its not like they planned their wedding the weekend before yours. Its just an engagement party. I think we sometimes, as brides, lose sight of the fact that the world does not revolve around us. People cant plan their 'life events' around our weddings. Its not fair to them either to put their life on hold. They are excited, they want to celebrate too. Just my honest opinion, let it go.
I tend to agree. I understand that you kind of feel like they are stepping on your toes, but they deserve a chance to celebrate too. You can still have your shower as planned, she can have her engagement party, and the family that loves ALL of you will not complain at all. Try not to worry about it, enjoy the bridal shower which is all about you, and go celebrate their party which is about them.
Don't let these little things bother you, its a happy time!
Lisafer1973
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Re: Vent & Question - FH's cousin
Posted by FutureMrs.T
My honest opinion....you are overreacting. Its not like they planned their wedding the weekend before yours. Its just an engagement party. I think we sometimes, as brides, lose sight of the fact that the world does not revolve around us. People cant plan their 'life events' around our weddings. Its not fair to them either to put their life on hold. They are excited, they want to celebrate too. Just my honest opinion, let it go.
I have to agree and I couldn't have said it better myself. Don't go crazy over it. They aren't going to plan you shower on the same day. Maybe this is something to throw you off so your shower will be a surprise.
Kerin2804
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Re: Vent & Question - FH's cousin
Do not change your plans. There are always other events to attend, try and enjoy the party. Perhaps that is just when their schedule allowed.
MeaganAndJoeC
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Re: Vent & Question - FH's cousin
I think its going to be fine. I have a big family and a lot of friend weddings this year 8 to be exact and we are all doing our things weeks apart or even days. It alll works out.. Go ahead with your original plan .
klanghan
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Re: Vent & Question - FH's cousin
Don't you hate it when you are upset about something and everyone on here tells you you are over-reacting or you are wrong? I understand why you are upset, this is your wedding and your time to feel special, you don't want anyone to steal your spotlight. BUT you don't know when you shower is, maybe your bridal party is telling you it is this date just to throw you off. My sister told me lots of fibs when it came to my shower in attempts to throw me off. Lastly, just go with it and enjoy it, you shower will be fabulous even if the engagement party is the same day because it will be your shower and everyone will be there for you! try not to let other people get you down!
kslmbuggie
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Re: Vent & Question - FH's cousin
i think this is pretty selfish of you. we as brides cant expect people to halt their lives just because we are getting married. our wedding days are the most special day for us and not for everyone else. the people that are important to you will still attend your shower, and you in return should be supportive of your FH's cousin and celebrate with them @ their e-party. i wouldnt mention this to anyone because it will come off very bridezilla-ish.
autumnbride10
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Re: Vent & Question - FH's cousin
This may sound silly, but do you think they are having this 'engagement party' as front to cover your shower? You know, to throw you off the scent?
bluekat16
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Re: Vent & Question - FH's cousin
Sorry ladies I was out all day so I just got to read everyone's feedback.
I totally see though how the post sounds selfish and see how it may come off as me being an overreacting bride about this. I guess I just feel the way I do about it.
I just want to clarify that I do not necessarily feel like this because I think they are stealing my thunder, if anything I'm worried that my shower may seem as me trying to steal their thunder.
I'm far from being bridezilla about anything wedding related. I know my wedding is not the center of eveyone's universe....for the last couple of weeks it hasn't even been the center of my universe.
Thanks for the feedback girls....I know as bride's we all need a reality check sometimes and I'm glad you guys could be my sounding board.
bluekat16
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Re: Vent & Question - FH's cousin
Posted by autumnbride10
This may sound silly, but do you think they are having this 'engagement party' as front to cover your shower? You know, to throw you off the scent?
I don't think it is...because FH and I are registering next weekend.
FutureMrsCarrieri
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Re: Vent & Question - FH's cousin
Posted by FutureMrs.T
My honest opinion....you are overreacting. Its not like they planned their wedding the weekend before yours. Its just an engagement party. I think we sometimes, as brides, lose sight of the fact that the world does not revolve around us. People cant plan their 'life events' around our weddings. Its not fair to them either to put their life on hold. They are excited, they want to celebrate too. Just my honest opinion, let it go.
It's likely that they weren't even thinking about your shower when they planned the e-party. I don't think they're trying to steal your thunder.
Espo22
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Re: Vent & Question - FH's cousin
well you said invitations for your shower hasnt even gone out yet, so that means theyre not trying to compete with your shower since they have no idea it will be right around that time...with no invitation to your shower, its not on their mind. So cant really be mad at them since they booked an e-party without knowing a date for your shower, so not like theyre competing for gifts the same month. Regardless though i dont think that would be their intentions.
They are just as happy to be engaged and just want to have an e-party, i am sure that they dont even see it as a problem and didnt think it would upset you.
I wouldnt worry about events around the same time...i have some events that are one right after another and you just deal with it...you'll see many girls on here have sooo many events all in one year, and you cant blame those who are planning their parties.
Dont worry, people will be just as excited for your shower as for their e-party. It wont change your day in any way
