Vent....I just wan t to choke....!

Ok, so some background, I have been married for 5 yrs next weeek. But becuase we got married poor and in college, we are now having our 'bigger' reception, and doing a religious ceremony. I will admit, I was the one who wanted it, and truthfully with some of my history with this gentelman, I deserve it.

So we get into an arguement today about how this is 'my wedding,' he didnt want this, he'd rather be doing something else with his money, we have no dental insurance, and he'd rather spend the money getting work that he needs rather than paying for people to eat and talk crapp about us anyway.

I wanted to cry, he is generally a sweetheart and he spoils me, but it made me feel like a selfish biotch....I know him, and he is the type that if he had the money, he wouldnt spend it on the dental work he needs, he would either save it and leave it in the bank doing nothing, or buy a flat screen and a new car.

I feel horrible, he made me feel like I dont deserve it, and its not like he put in all the money, he put half, my mother gifted me a couple of thousand, and I put in the rest.

I dont think its right for him to do this. He is such an A$$!

Ok...I vented

im sorry u guys r arguing about the wedding. guys can be very insensitive sometimes.

Cheer up. he will be so glad at the reception that he did it!

I cant move it, even if I wanted to, we have so much already paid for. I will let him be for today and see how it goes...

Thanks!

If he really feels that way it was his responsibility to tell you BEFORE you guys got so far into your planning. Most guys would rather spend on 'toys' than a party, but if he knows how much it means to you he'll be fine.

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Posted by sophisticat13

If he really feels that way it was his responsibility to tell you BEFORE you guys got so far into your planning. Most guys would rather spend on 'toys' than a party, but if he knows how much it means to you he'll be fine.

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I think so too, I always knew that he didnt want to spend too much money, and I have gone above and beyond to keep our budget small. I have haggled prices, compromise on venue site, compromised on everything, so I can have a nice wedding without giving our finances a heart attack, but he doesnt see that sometimes.
He has a collectors car that has been sitting in a garage for the last 3 years (about $3000 in rent) and he doesnt do crapp with it. He gives me grief about a wedding I know I deserve, but he spends money on crapp like he dumb car (which I dont say a word about)

He knows exactly how much it means to me, we almost got a divorce a few yrs back...I wont go into why, but lest just say this party is the least he can do.

He is otherwise a great husband, loves my family like his own, great provider (I am in law school and he works), but I cant get over how low I felt when he told me that this morning.

I think the wedding planning in general is a stressful time for everyone. my Fh has been fighting with me lately for not spending enough $$$ on certain things like flowers, invites, limos...

If i spent more it would have been too much. because i don't want to waste $$ on those things but do a cheaper tasteful version he thinks it's not going to be nice enough. he says he'd rather have the limos than upgrade some rooms on our HMand gave me the hardest time about booking the HM. i'm like 'what??!!!!'

to me it sounds like your hubby has turned into a groomzilla LOL

i know the feeling, girl.

sorry you feel this way. Men just don't get it.

We have been engaged two weeks and already FH is like, 'I'd rather spend all this money on a down payment for a house.' Practical yes, smarter, probably. But he knows better and he knows how much a wedding means to a girl so he would never actually ask me to give it up, lol. But deep down men are just more logical in that sense.

I can see how since you are already married he might be thinking this, but it is unfair. Every girl deserves her dream wedding! I get the feeling that he probably just doesn't get it. When you have cooled down try having a calm conversation with him and tell him that it is very important to you and you would really appreciate it if he would do this for you. He'll end up loving it.... men pretend they don't care but when the day comes they love being the center of attention.

Hope it gets better!

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Posted by sophisticat13

If he really feels that way it was his responsibility to tell you BEFORE you guys got so far into your planning. Most guys would rather spend on 'toys' than a party, but if he knows how much it means to you he'll be fine.

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I agree! This is a very stressful time but if he felt so strongly about this wedding he should have said something before. If you are trying hard to save money then there is nothing else that can be done. GIve him a few days to cool off and hopefully he'll wake up and realize there is no turning back.