Venting Post long

Im so mad right now....me and my FMIL dont get a long, theres a LOT of history in the past 7 years, she has been very very mean and hurtful to me in many many ways...long story short we spent thanksgiving with her b/c i was tryin to be nice ( stupid me) ends up that she was being her nasty self and fought SCREAMING all day long RUINED the day and we had dinner at 930pm and it was such a horrible day, anyway she kept apologizing to FH didnt email or apologize to me personally once...skip to xmas i wanted to be nice so i sent her out a merry xmas email from em and FH, she went as far as emailed my FH telling him merry xmas, never wished me one mind you email was from em and he hadnt even known i sent it, skip to tonight, she calls at 8pm tonight saying her and her bf are coming down (2 hour trip) to meet my FH for breakfast b/c she misses him oh so much...come to find out im not invited...i dont get it, i just dont i did nothing wrong to this woman and shes gonna travel down 2 hours to eat breakfast up the block from me and not even extend an invite??am i crazy or being unreasonable?? i mean i probably wouldnt have gone anyway but isnt it normal when someone treats you poorly for them to extend or do things to try to fix it?? oh and by the way she wont ever talk about the wedding either, anytime we tried to talk to her she ignores us..anytime i try to include her shes too busy,,,and she told me that i need to have more experiences with more guys (meaning have more sex with more people) because she doesnt think its enough!! now me and FH are fighting b/c he doesnt see the big deal in it im going nuts...sigh im sorry for the long post...

thanks for letting me vent ladies xoxo

I would talk to her alone,but have your FH there, to found out why she has these feels towards you.
Remember, she older so try not to be nasty, even if she is. If it gets heated, just say you've tried to be nice, and if that's the way she wants it, OK, but your still going to marry her son.

OMG Fran I totally sympathize with you
I’m in the same situation my FMIL and FFIL still haven’t even acknowledge that were engaged yet. She begged Ed not to marry me and told him that I’m horrible and rude. Fran just ignore her she is obviously an a$$. Is he an only child? Ed is and I think that’s why they are the way they are. There are such disgusting people. I went on vacation this summer with them and left early because my dad had taken a turn for the worse. She still hasn’t let that go and told Ed that I ruined the vacation and embarrassed her because I left early. HELLO my father was dying!!!!! Then she didn’t even come up to me at my own father’s funeral. I totally understand what you’ve been going through. I’ve tried so many times to be nice and be the better person but to tell you the truth it doesn’t matter. They just hate me, so I say F*ck them.
Hopefully Ray will see that it’s her. It’s taken Ed 21/2 years to realize what they are like. We’ve had so many fights over them and almost called off the wedding but I’m not going to let her ruin this.
If you ever have to vent FM me I think we have much in common. Ignore her that will make her more made!!!!!!

I'm so sorry your being treated this way.. You don't deserve it.

I would def. talk to her-with FH somewhere close in case things get ugly. Im sorry that you have to deal with that-sometimes FMIL dont get that you make their SON happy and it really doesnt change anything if you dont make THEM happy. I know you have to deal with her for the rest of your life, but even then. Maybe its time for her to step away and realize her son loves you and he is grown-no need to NOT cut the cord...

I am so sorry. This must be so hard for you. I def. think this is an issue you should address before you and your FH get married if not it is going to cause problems later. Hopefully you can get a united front on this. I wish you the best of luck with this, i do hope it all works out for you

Francine I think she is scared of you taking all of her sons attention away from her. She is hoping you have sex with other men so he can leave you. She is also purposely not inviting you out hoping you get the picture. She is just being rude. There is no law saying you guys have to like each other but there must be respect. What is she going to do when kids come in the picture?

FH should also talk to her one on one and tell her that he doesnt appreciate the treatment she gives you. This may make her try to make amends.

ty guys for all your advice...i relly love you girls, thing is we have had many conversations with her before about it, shes one of those people you cant talk to about what she does wrong, FH has spoken to her privately, i have tried, it just doesnt get through to her, hes supportive of me for the most part but sometimes he just gets so frustrated he doesnt know what to do,,,ive tried to have the respect for her, ive never really gotten out of line with her through all the abuse but im sorry i just cant take anymore...pray for me girls i may blow

christine(giapet) girl it is so refreshing to know someone knows what im talking about but i feel soooo bad for you!!!!! if you need to vent to dont hesitate to FM me either, i have a feeling we are gonna be venting alot esp as our weddings get closer...thanks for your advice

love my LIW brides...somehow you made me feel a bit better

aww ladies you really do not deserve to be treated this way for LOVING someone!!! If talking wont do it then just ignore the best you can its not worth the stress,or the tears you girls deserve the best!! Hang in there!!!

I am so sorry That you two get treated this way. It is totally uncalled for. I say to keep standing your grounds and dont let these mean women ruin anything. I would say to have a one on one conversation with them, but they might even take that as an attack. But do what you have to, and remember we are always hear to listen.

I agree that she's one of those nutty FMILs that think you're stealing her 'baby'. LMAO, thank God my FMIL loves me because I couldn't deal with having a bad realtionship with his family after all this time. However I have had mothers like that in the past with ex-bf's. I wouldn't suggest you talk to her because it doesn't seem like it will help. I'd say, lower your expectations. Don't go out of your way to be nice, don't expect her to invite you anywhere, basically think of her as more of an acquaintance than a family member because she acts like one.

wow i'm sooo sorry you two have been treated this way. My FMIL was a little iffy at first with me only because i'm marrying the baby out of her three children - his brother and sister are about 10-12 years older then him- and she was scared of me taking her baby away. But after many talks between the three of us and his father sometimes whos is the greatest man alive besides my grandfather and my FH, my FMIL decided that we love each other and want to take care of each other and now things are soo much better. In saying this I agree with everyone when they say talk to her, but I would def have FH there with you because he needs to realize what his mother is doing as well. Good luck

I'm with you ladies...but I can't vent on here because the Step FMIL....she lurks..

I'll FM ya! Hang in there....you'll be there long after her, you'll be the mother of his children, your his best friend.

Just remember how this felt and don't do it to your own children.

Oh yeah....and put her in a terrible nursing home...JK JK JK!!!

Nina I agree she is so going to regret when she is old and can't take care of herself and I refuse to take care of her!!!!! Which is so horrible considering that in may I'll have my nursing degree!!!!!Oh Well she should have been nicer. Fran. If you want send your FMIL to me I'll give her real good care LOL

I'm so sorry noone deserves this especially after you are more than extending yourself.
He is an only child? or the only male child? Mothers and their sons are really close

You have FM!!!!