VENT....long

I don't vent on here often, but UGH...my parents are driving me crazy. I was supposed to order my invites this week, but had to push it back because they still don't have a guest list. I've asked them to come up with one for over 6 months. I've even tried to sit down with them and work on it, but I just got lectured instead (they don't like FH...and find every opportunity to rag on him).

So i called them (again) today to ask them to work on the guest list. My mom's response, 'just estimate and then order some extra'. Then she looks at the guest list I already have and tell me I'm inviting too many people.

I grew up in a small family church...and these other families were basically like my extended family. All the kids grew up together and their parents were like my aunts and uncles. but i can't invite all of them because FH and I have huge actual families.

So i tried to come up with a fair way of including people on the guest list. I said that of anyone in the youth group side was college aged or older, their entire family would be invited. now my mom is telling me to not invite the younger siblings (like if they weren't college aged yet). And she has some beef with some of the parents, so she doesn't want me to invite the kids from those families because she doesn't want to invite the parents.

And it's just SO frustrating. i'm trying to make things fair without inviting just part of a family. Bbtw, my parents aren't payign for the wedding, but just have a lot to say. And the 'if you're not paying for it, you have no input' thing doesn't work with my parents...because it's sort of disrespectful to say something like that to asian parents.

im so sorry Jen you're dealing with this. Just tell them if they dont give you a guest list then youll just invite the ppl you have on yours, im sure they'll do it faster then...hope it works out

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Posted by Espo22

im so sorry Jen you're dealing with this. Just tell them if they dont give you a guest list then youll just invite the ppl you have on yours, im sure they'll do it faster then...hope it works out

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I agree! and im sorry jen that really stinks! and i think you should invite who you want to invite! its your wedding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Awww Jen I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I know preparing a guest list is very frustrating especially when your getting in put from your parents. I would think it over and invite only the people you truely want to be there. It's a tough call when your parents do not get along with some of the guests.
I'm sorry I could not offer any great advice...but I know you will get through this!
Good luck!

Why do guest lists ALWAYS end up being the thing that ends up stressing us out sooo much???

Try to explain to them (in a nice way of course) that you HAVE TO have the guest list by a certain date. Or make one up and let them add/delete who they want (this worked for us b/c no one wanted to do it).

Also, arent invitations more $ if you need extras later?

Im sorry they are putting you through the drama. I hope everything works out!

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Posted by Princess Cut Bride

Awww Jen I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I know preparing a guest list is very frustrating especially when your getting in put from your parents. I would think it over and invite only the people you truely want to be there. It's a tough call when your parents do not get along with some of the guests.
I'm sorry I could not offer any great advice...but I know you will get through this!
Good luck!

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I agree. I don't have any great advice for you either, but you do have my sympathy!

Thanks girls!!!! I guess it's not just the guest list...this is just the breaking point.

I've had a lot of issues with them stemming from the fact that they don't like FH. They actuall ydon't know him at all. We've been dating almost 6 years, and they only agreed to meet him after we were engaged (which they didn't congratulate us on....I just got lectured on the phone after i broke the news to them...until I hung up). He just isn't what the type of guy they wanted me to be with. They wanted a rich, Taiwanese doctor...but instead, they got a cantonese nurse.

When they first met him, he rode a motorcycle, which they thought was dangerous (he doesn't anymore)...and then thought he was one of those 'bad boy' types. And then he quit his engineering job to go back to school to be a pediatric nurse. Which to them is quitting a job to go to a 'lower' position. Sometimes they're are too embarrassed to tell people that he's a nurse (since it's a 'girls' job) and will say that he does computers instead.

I just wished that we could all be happy about this together...but instead, it's kind of put a damper on things. And it's like one issue after another with them. And it's getting so close to the date, I guess i'm just freaking out a little bit that there will be even more issues.

Do you see this big smile on your face?



This is what you have to think about when you get upset and worried about what your parents think! You are the one who has to be happy and as I look at your epics again....you seem to be so in love with your FH that you shouldn't let anyone get you down! I know you want your parents blessings but being that they don't know your FH very well they probably don't see how happy he makes you and how good he is for you!
Don't worry they will get over it. Hang in there and be happy!!!!! You're getting married to a man who loves you and who is going to make you smile like you did in your beautiful epics for the rest of your life!!!

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Posted by Princess Cut Bride

Do you see this big smile on your face?



This is what you have to think about when you get upset and worried about what your parents think! You are the one who has to be happy and as I look at your epics again....you seem to be so in love with your FH that you shouldn't let anyone get you down! I know you want your parents blessings but being that they don't know your FH very well they probably don't see how happy he makes you and how good he is for you!
Don't worry they will get over it. Hang in there and be happy!!!!! You're getting married to a man who loves you and who is going to make you smile like you did in your beautiful epics for the rest of your life!!!

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Thanks....i needed that!!!

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Posted by Princess Cut Bride

Do you see this big smile on your face?



This is what you have to think about when you get upset and worried about what your parents think! You are the one who has to be happy and as I look at your epics again....you seem to be so in love with your FH that you shouldn't let anyone get you down! I know you want your parents blessings but being that they don't know your FH very well they probably don't see how happy he makes you and how good he is for you!
Don't worry they will get over it. Hang in there and be happy!!!!! You're getting married to a man who loves you and who is going to make you smile like you did in your beautiful epics for the rest of your life!!!

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wow thats very well said anna!! and i agree 100%!!! think of that or in this case look at that..when you feel down jenn!!!

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Posted by jenlen

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Posted by Princess Cut Bride

Do you see this big smile on your face?



This is what you have to think about when you get upset and worried about what your parents think! You are the one who has to be happy and as I look at your epics again....you seem to be so in love with your FH that you shouldn't let anyone get you down! I know you want your parents blessings but being that they don't know your FH very well they probably don't see how happy he makes you and how good he is for you!
Don't worry they will get over it. Hang in there and be happy!!!!! You're getting married to a man who loves you and who is going to make you smile like you did in your beautiful epics for the rest of your life!!!

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Thanks....i needed that!!!

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AWWWW anytime!!!! That's what we are here for!!!
You actually made me tear!!!
I'm a big mush!