First of all, I am so happy about getting married and looking forward to our wedding day and marriage. But, some people along the way are just pissing me off!!! Arghh!!
First of all, my fh step-mother and sister are not speaking to one another and this upsets my fh because he does not want to see them at the wedding with sour puss faces. They recently just got into an argument and are making it all about them! I knew that when we got engaged that somehow my FH's sister would somehow make it about her. Anyways, my FH asked her to please do not cause a scene at the wedding and her reply is 'that she will try her best' Try her best is not good enough. She ended up hanging up the phone on my FH. By the way, she made a scene in front of my friends at my Bachelorette party which my FH stepmother and sister attended. When the stepmother went to the bathroom, the sister yelled at her mother for talking to the step-mother. She made a scene and I was pissed! She made a comment to her mother that she may not want to go to the wedding.
2nd, my FH step-mother is upset because she was not asked to be a bridesmaid!! Can you believe that crap? A Bridesmaid!! I already have 7. Not only that, I had already previously asked her to be a reader so that she would not feel left out. I guess that was not good enough. She even threatened not to go to the wedding b/c FH's sister might cause a scene. Give me a break, this is your step-son's wedding!!! Also, we are having an interfaith wedding. My FH is jewish and it is tradition that mom and dad walk with the son. Which I love the tradition b/c I wanted my parents to walk down with me. FH dad and FH step-mom demanded that they walk down togther and the father not walk down with FH and FH'smom. I originally wanted Stepmom to walk down with gRadma. Fine, FFIL is walking with Step-mom and Grandma.
And to top it off, My FH Mom stood me up with my picking up my dress. She said she honestly forgot okay fine.
She promised to make me a shower in NY since my Mom threw me one in TX. And I guess she is not throwing me one here. MY NY friends kept asking about it and I guess it is not going to happen because I have less than 4 weeks to go. MY girlfriend offered to throw it for me, but thats not even the point. She promised and she didn't keep her promise. Thanks for listening....Just needed to vent. I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would be stressing out about nonsense. I expected this from my family. LOL
SReidy
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Re: Vent..why is everyone else making it about them!
I'm sorry all this is happening to you!! I think we all know where you're coming from and I couldn't agree with you more that everyone is making it all about them and what they want!!!!! It's happening on my end too!! Everything will work itself out!! I hope this makes you feel a little better! In the end, everything will be great!
juju
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Re: Vent..why is everyone else making it about them!
I think my FH is more stressed out about this. I feel for him. He mentioned to me that they should go have dinner together on our wedding day. But, they are a close family that his sister would have to be there.
sp04
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Re: Vent..why is everyone else making it about them!
It is so ridiculous how everyone else makes a big deal about something that does not revolve around them. Some people just have to be the center of attention all the time... Sorrrryyy...
August2004
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Re: Vent..why is everyone else making it about them!
I think every family has one of those people. WHile it is very sad that this girl would do this to you, think about how miserable she must be with herself to act like this. That's how I think about 'that person' in fi's family !!!
juju
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Re: Vent..why is everyone else making it about them!
LOL MY FH Step MOm just called. What a coinkadink. She probably reads the post. LOL
nferrandi
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Re: Vent..why is everyone else making it about them!
Weddings are streesful enough without having to deal with other people's drama. My FH has a twin and his girlfriend is nothing but nasty to me. Everytime the family asks about my wedding she gets pissy and quiet and usually walks away or makes a comment under her breath. I don't understand why people can't just be happy for the couple and help them celebrate their love and commitment. That's what a wedding is really about, not all the other petty bullsh*t.
August2004
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Re: Vent..why is everyone else making it about them!
nferrandi,
I am sure that you can see thru that girls behavior. She is blatantly jealous of you(perhaps mad she is not getting married) !! How sad, some people cannot be happy for others.
AJsMommy122
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Re: Vent..why is everyone else making it about them!
I kind of know how you feel my FMIL a year after I picked the date... decides to yell at me.. why did you have to pick february? why couldnt you pick a warmer month - my answer.. well the price double per plate .. do you want to pay the difference.. b/c we cant afford it ( were paying for the whole thing ourselves) shes says oh well what about october? I said we like feb. the date has been picked for a year.. and the weather isnt sooo much better anyway. besides everything is indoors.. she says well i would prefer for you to choose another date.. do you know how hard it is gunna be for me to find a nice dress for that time of year? WTF?? My wedding is about love not a fashion show that revolves around u!!! sorry for the vent!
juju
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Re: Vent..why is everyone else making it about them!
Soon2b, What the bride and groom have no say? Give me a break. The two of you can choose any month you want. Some nerve. They had their day so its your turn to have yours.
In the beginning, everything was fine. I even included the FIL's in on the planning. But, I can't believe how everyone is behaving! I have kept my distance b/c I'm tired of being annoyed by all the BS.
AJsMommy122
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Re: Vent..why is everyone else making it about them!
I am totally with you. My FMIL can be so negative!! I can be soo excited about something or get a really good deal.. and she can never just be happy its always a dirty look or oh why are you paying so much... The sad thing is my mom is the same way!! I have no one to talk to about this stuff but you guys and FH ( who never helps anyway! :) ) and the BMs who are always busy :(
juju
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Re: Vent..why is everyone else making it about them!
Don't get me wrong, my FMIL and FHStepMIL were great about the planning process. Meaning, MY FH and I did what we wanted. However, up to last few months there has been tension b/w everyone. I guess I am just hurt that she promised me a shower and I didn't get one. But, I am suppose to act like I am okay with it? Then I am pissed that FHStepMIL and fH Sister won't freaking makeup already. And if they are going to threaten not to attend the wedding, then don't attend. I am just hurt and pissed. But, I Know it bothers poor FH moreso than it does me. I won't even bring it up to FH about the shower b/c he is already stressed out about his sister.
nferrandi
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Re: Vent..why is everyone else making it about them!
Maybe the best thing to do is have your bridesmaids through your shower and invite you FMIL. I'm certainly not making excuses for her behavior, but maybe once the ball is rolling she'll get involved and at least help out with the planning.
AJsMommy122
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Re: Vent..why is everyone else making it about them!
That is so sad about your shower??? why didnt she ever throw it?? Its not right to promise something like that and then not go through. And about you sis and mom.. thats really immiture and selfish of them! My mom and sister werent on speaking terms till recently.. they still refuse to sit at the same table :(
juju
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Re: Vent..why is everyone else making it about them!
The funny thing is that I asked my NY friends if they rec'd invitation. And if they are trying to surprise me, let me in on the surprise b/c I am ticked off b/c one is not planned. MY girlfriend mentioned 'seriously, I do not have an invite and if you are having a party, IM pissed b/c I wasn't invited.' I think it is too late to have one anyways. I have less than 4 weeks for the wedding. MY FMIL was unable to go to my TX shower and promised that she would have one for me here. Sad huh.
ETA: well, you have a year so hopefully your mother and sister will patch it up.
gaby25
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Re: Vent..why is everyone else making it about them!
You know , the funny part is that everyone mentions to me that planning the wedding and saving for so much money is gonna be stressful, but you know what that's the fun part. I don't even mind being tight on money but the real stressful part is family I am very sad to say. Right from the start, there has been nothing but negative comments made (mostly from his side) about how much money we are spending and as to why I have only chosen one of his sisters to be a BM um..hello!! he has FIVE and I already have 8 what the hell do they want !!!!!!!!!!!! but I decided to become a b!#*ch about everything and not take anything or anyone seriously!!!! and the worst question everyone keeps asking is 'How much is your wedding going to cost?' WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW, ARE YOU GIVING ME MONEY FOR IT is what I reply now . Really, some people can be sooooooooooo rude
p.s. Thanks for letting me vent also
OctGroom
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Re: Vent..why is everyone else making it about them!
There's usually two ways to handle things in life... to be active or reactive. If you're reactive, people sometimes have a tendency to try to make your life more difficult.. lots of times with no malice involved.
You gotta be totally active in all of this. Your word should be law and people should respect that. That's the right thing to do.
Now the way I see it... it's YOUR day .. you and your FH.. and you should get everything you want. No one would want someone else how to handle THEIR wedding.. so no one has the right to moan about how your doing yours. You do what YOU want... Bottom line.
Try to respect the families as much as possible. But when it all comes down to it.. it's you and Your FH's day. And you are most certainly entitled to enjoy it.
juju
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Re: Vent..why is everyone else making it about them!
AS for my shower, my BMS live out of state.
The planning of it was easy. Everyone says that someone always gets hurt. Sorry. But, you're right it is our wedding.
janet
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Re: Vent..why is everyone else making it about them!
I am sorry you are going through this right before your weding! My 2 uncles on my mom side are just as bad and it is killing me that one said that as long as the other one was somewhere he would not be there! well my wedding is right around the conner (3 weeks after you) and I am worried that the one might not come. I vowed if he could not put his differance aside for me on my wedding day then I will not talk to him untill he comes around and acts like an adult! and trust me there fight is a high school fight! I would tell them to stop being a bunch of high school kids grow up and do this for me! tell them this is how it will be done and that's that!! you have to put your foot down or it will turn into them!
