Very sad right now...

Very sad right now...

I just received a call from my cousin letting me know that she and her daughters will not be able to be in my wedding in November. She was supposed to be one of my BM's and her girls two of my FG's. She said the reason is she's a stay at home mom and she was trying to figure out how they'd be able to do it but she just doesn't see how it would be feasible. I'm trying to be understanding because I know how difficult it is to live on Long Island on one income. I guess I'm upset because she and the girls were going to be the only members of my family in the bridal party. My Mom passed away almost 4 years ago, my sister was disowned from the family and I'm not close to my Dad at all. I'm not one to cry easily but I've been on the verge of tears ever since she called. Guess I just wanted to talk to someone about it. Thanks for listening.

ETA: I apparently can't spell today!

Re: Very sad right now...

I'm so sorry! Is there any way that you can maybe help them out so they can come? Some FG dresses are very affordable, and you could spend $80 or $90 and that would take some of the burden off of her. I am not normally someone who suggests something like this, but if they are your only close family, then you could give it a try.

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Aww Maybe if you offer to help? I know money i tight for us right now, but maybe if you just pick up her dress and one fg?

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Is there anyway you can offer to help her with the expenses that she would incur for the wedding - like buying dresses?

I am sorry you are sad

ETA: my flower girl's dress was $42, they have lots of cute inexpensive FG dresses here:
the briar patch

Re: Very sad right now...

It seems to mean a lot to you. Why don't you offer to pay for everyone's dresses (that can be their thank you) Sorry you are so sad. FM me if you want to talk.

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Re: Very sad right now...

Oh Theresa, I'm so sorry!! Like others said, maybe you could offer to pay for the FG dresses? I've seen them for less than $50 in Tri-County and on Ebay. There's enough time to handle the finances!

Remember, if you need someone to talk, I'm here for you!!

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I also saw some cute FH dresses at www.shopbriarpatch.com for $42-50 as well. You should check it out!

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oh that stinks

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im sorry you are going through this!!!!

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Oh I'm so sorry. The other girls have had great suggestions...can you offer to help her with some of the expenses?

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Thank you everyone for your suggestions. I really appreciate all of your support in this. The way she stated it to me, it was like the door isn't even open for me to offer. I would be happy to pay for the FG dresses and, to be honest, the dresses I'm looking at for the BM's are maybe $150 each before the discount. I think what's bothering me is I gave my BP 13 mos notice. Even if money is tight, is it that difficult to come up with a couple of hundred dollars? I don't know. I think it has more to do with not having an immediate family and then having a family member I grew up with decide to not be involved. Part of me is angry at myself because I should try to be more understanding and realize my wedding is not going to be as important to anyone but me and my FH. Thank you all again for being there for me.

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OMG Theresa.. I'm so sorry. I can totally understand how you feel right now. Im sure this has been on her mind for a long time. I can only imagine how devistating it was for her to tell you. I really hope you can both work something out together. I dont want to see you sad.



Please keep us updated.

Here are some hugs

I hope that helps!

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Theresa I'm so sorry you are going through this right now. I know you said that she didn't really leave the door open for you to offer to pay for FG dresses, but maybe if you call her up and explain how much it means to you to have the 'family' included, and tell her you don't want to insult her by offering to pay, but it really means so much that you don't want finances to be the reason they back out.


Good luck sweetie!!

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Give her a call, and tell her how important it is to you. Maybe just have the girls be in it. Is she still coming to your wedding?

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Aww, I am so sorry

These girls do have good ideas though!

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Soooo sorry Theresa!!!!

I really hope everything works out!

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Well FH and I had a long talk about this and he just thinks her excuse about $$ is complete bs (based on several expensive purchases they've made in recent months). He reminded me of countless times when, unfortunately, my 'family' has let us down and just not been there when we've gone out of our way to be there for them. Other times, they are there but you can almost tell it's out of obligation. He's pretty much said it's her loss and he's tired of me being on the receiving end of guilt trips and disappointment. A friend and fellow LIW Bride also reminded me that sometimes friends are better than family because you pick your friends (thanks Janna!). I just wanted to say thanks to all of you girls. I have to say this is the first time since I started planning my wedding that something happened that I didn't expect and didn't know how to react to. Everyone here was so nice and offered such great advice. I'll let you know if anything changes but for now, I'm going to just invite her and her family to the wedding but not put them up on that pedestal as I have been doing before. Thanks again everyone.