My wedding was just over a month ago and my sister was in the bridal party. She did not give us a card or gift at the wedding. When we visited with her when we returned from the honeymoon she actually asked us how we 'made out' and made a comment about how we were rich now. My husband gets SO mad every time this comes up and it makes me really upset. I know she technically has a year but I really don't think she has any intention of giving us a gift.
What can I do to make myself feel better about this? Do I say something to her? I've mentioned it to my parents and they don't seem like they are willing to ask.
Oh and my twin brother did not give us a gift either but did at least tell me a head of time and confirm that he had a year!
Good Lord!!
melijane
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Re: very touchy subject and kind of long
I think you should get over it. If anyone can stiff you for a gift it should be your sister. Is she in financial trouble. No one HAS to get you a gift for anything. I hope I 'do well' at my wedding but I would not ever question someone about their gift or lack thereof
hmm8191
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Re: very touchy subject and kind of long
Posted by melijane
I think you should get over it. If anyone can stiff you for a gift it should be your sister. Is she in financial trouble. No one HAS to get you a gift for anything. I hope I 'do well' at my wedding but I would not ever question someone about their gift or lack thereof
It's not the gift or lack there of that's upsetting to me. She could have spent $1.50 on a card and expressed her happiness for us and I wouldn't be upset at all. My sister does not have financial constraints, and happens to do very well as an attorney, and I would question the amount of the gift. It's the fact that she did not even acknowledge us that's upsetting to me.
I guess I didn't make this clear.
Bunnymonkey
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Re: very touchy subject and kind of long
i would vote for get over it too - maybe your FH and you are mad for another reason...just a thought. If my sister didn't give me a gift (most people do know that you have a year) i really wouldn't care. I don't know what your relationship is like with her though...
brooklynbridezilla
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Re: very touchy subject and kind of long
I don't think being related is an excuse for being rude. IMO, its inappropriate to bring up how much gift money you recieved, and would tell her you do not appreciate her speculating on the amount.
I don't think you sister is obligated to give you a gift, but to not even give a card congratulating you on your marriage is awful.
hmm8191
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Re: very touchy subject and kind of long
Posted by brooklynbridezilla
I don't think being related is an excuse for being rude. IMO, its inappropriate to bring up how much gift money you recieved, and would tell her you do not appreciate her speculating on the amount.
I don't think you sister is obligated to give you a gift, but to not even give a card congratulating you on your marriage is awful.
Thank you for understanding what I'm talking about. I did not make myself clear and went in and changed my initial post a little. I would never assume she HAD to give me a gift but I am always very generous with her (I send her puppy birthday presents) and it hurt my feels that she did not even bring a card.
ps: She brought 2 guest to the wedding too.
VS11
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Re: very touchy subject and kind of long
I have never heard of the year thing?? If someone doesnt give you a gift at your wedding,,they have a year to get it to you??
I would be more hurt that my sibling didnt give me card..more than anything else..
ETA: who comes to a wedding and doesnt bring a gift??? Is this normal??? I would be mortified for the person..
angelbear217
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Re: very touchy subject and kind of long
Posted by brooklynbridezilla
I don't think being related is an excuse for being rude. IMO, its inappropriate to bring up how much gift money you recieved, and would tell her you do not appreciate her speculating on the amount.
I don't think you sister is obligated to give you a gift, but to not even give a card congratulating you on your marriage is awful.
I agree. I overlook a lot when it comes to my sister, but if she didn't even give us a card, I would be hurt. It's as if she didn't even acknowledge the wedding happened.
Butterflybride
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Re: very touchy subject and kind of long
Posted by rosaria ETA: who comes to a wedding and doesnt bring a gift??? Is this normal??? I would be mortified for the person..
I've heard of it happening quite a bit actually. From what I've heard, it seems there's always one or two people that don't. Seems to happen usually with out-of-town guests, because in a lot of states weddings aren't nearly as a big a deal as they are in New York.
Heather, I do think your sister should've at least gotten you a card. I know that I would be hurt if a family member didn't even acknowlege my wedding.
VS11
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Re: very touchy subject and kind of long
[
WOW!!! I have never heard of that..Please dont think I am being selfish,,I just cant imagine a guest coming to a wedding and not bringing a gift....
Am I the only one that feels this way??
Please tell me if I am wrong for thinking that..
just dont be mean...k
littlebookworm4
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Re: very touchy subject and kind of long
I'd have to agree. To not give you a card at least?!
Butterflybride
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Re: very touchy subject and kind of long
Posted by rosaria WOW!!! I have never heard of that..Please dont think I am being selfish,,I just cant imagine a guest coming to a wedding and not bringing a gift....
Am I the only one that feels this way??
Please tell me if I am wrong for thinking that..
just dont be mean...k
I was honestly surprised when I heard that it happens too. I don't think you're wrong for feeling that way. On your wedding day though, just be prepared that there might be somebody that comes without a gift for you; whether that person is having financial issues, or just doesn't know it's appropriate to bring a gift.
Blu-ize
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Re: very touchy subject and kind of long
My brother-in-law didn't give us anything either...card...nothing...it's 7 years! Maybe she gave you a card, but it got lost?
lrs2005
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Re: very touchy subject and kind of long
is it possible to have your parents or a trusted relative say something on your behalf?
azoodie
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Re: very touchy subject and kind of long
is she the sort of person you would expect this from? my brother i know is already saving and is giving us a very generous gift, but on the other hand i know better than to expect even a card from ray's brother...
some family just think they don't have to do anything and that's alright, i would get over it...sucky feeling though i know
ellengrisal
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Re: very touchy subject and kind of long
this may be stupid, but did she know she was supposed to give you a gift? i have two sisters, one of which got married in 2002. the 2nd sister didn't realize she had to give her a gift until i asked how much she was giving!! for some reason, she thought she was exempt because it was her sister. (yes, she's older..31 but had never been a BM before). so maybe that was the case?
also, not everyone realizes the importance of a card.
VS11
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Re: very touchy subject and kind of long
I know my family...and they would NEVER show up to a wedding without a gift...same goes for FH's family...
I guess I am still in shock over the fact that people show up at wedding gift-less...
jesslangen
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Re: very touchy subject and kind of long
Its one thing to not give a gift. Its that much worse that she didnt at least aknowledge the occaision with a card. But it is just down right rude and inappropriate for her to then comment on the amount you received from your generous gifts.
I personally wouldnt mention the lack of a gift to your sister but I would definitely mention that you dont appreciate the rude comments! Tell her to get over it! ...but maybe in a nicer way
Happybride2005
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Re: very touchy subject and kind of long
i know people have up 2 a yr to give the gift but i don't think that i could do that. i would at least give a card
tray831
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Re: very touchy subject and kind of long
Personally, someone that close to me, I just dont think I could let it go w/out saying anything, especially a card that has Meaning that she is happy for you.
She is your sister, are you guys close enough where you can basically be honest and ask her ALONE!!! Maybe something to the effect of Can I ask you a question.....and she'll say sure, and you can say, You and so and so (her husband/b/f/guest) never gave me a card right b/c I never came across it and I want to make sure nothing was stolen or lost.
Something to that effect.....she shouldnt get offended, and then her answer will give you your releif for the rest of your life.
Whatever answer she gives you, then obviously you have plenty of questions to follow.......
