Viruses
The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction, while attacking any other computers it suspects might send you viruses.
The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive with NO memory. It is considered by many non-technical computer users to be best virus ever written.
The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.
The John Kerry Virus - Votes YES to attack your computer, then decides to become anti-virus software.
The **** Chaney Virus - Moves all of your data to an undisclosed location.
The John Edwards Virus - Causes pop up ads to appear on your computer every 5 minutes trying to sell you John Kerry Anti-Virus Software.
The Bob Dole (a.k.a. Viagra) Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, and then e-mails everyone in your address book about what it did.
The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.
The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.
The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, and then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 150 GB.
The Jack Kevorkian Virus - Deletes all old files.
The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted.
The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.
The Joey Buttafuoco Virus - Only attacks minor files.
The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy... then discards it through Windows.
