Here's the story. My dad (really my stepfather but he definitely earned the title 'dad') passed away a few years ago. When he was alive, I always imagined that he and my mom would walk me down the aisle. That obviously leaves me with just my mom- and it's kinda funny- both my mom and I don't like the idea of having just her walk me down the aisle. It will be very emotional, for one thing.
So I had thought, maybe I'll walk down alone. In my mind, my Dad is still walking with me. I could also carry something of his to remember him by. And to be honest, I'm not big on this 'giving away' thing- I feel that I'm an independent woman, ya know? I liked the idea of meeting FH sort of 3/4's of the way.
But...then I think of my brothers-in-law, whom I'm very close with. I don't even consider them inlaws, they are my brothers. I would like a way for them to be involved, and my sister suggested I have one of them walk me half way, and the other finish up the job.
Then, a friend of mine (bunnybride heehee!) suggested my nephew Tommy (who's only 9) walk me down. Just the thought of it makes me an emotional wreck. Not only do we have the most amazing bond ever, he is about the closest I can get to having my Dad next to me, as Tommy and my Dad were so close. They were literally best friends.
Ugh I'm so confused....I know none of you can really tell me what to do...but I'm lost on this one. The one who has the biological right to walk me down the aisle is my mom. But neither of us really like that idea.
I really am lost on this one...just felt like venting, and if you have any ideas, I'd love 'em! Thanks!
bettybcafe
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Re: Walking down the aisle dilemma.....
Out of all those choices..I would opt for walking down the aisle alone while carrying something reflecting your love for your dad.
gaccrrm
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Re: Walking down the aisle dilemma.....
I lost my dad when I was little so I am having my younger brother walk me down the ailse. You have to think about what you want. ultimately the decision is yours. Also, I am having a bouquet locket made to carry a picture of my dad.
GettinHutched
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Re: Walking down the aisle dilemma.....
Posted by bettybcafe
Out of all those choices..I would opt for walking down the aisle alone while carrying something reflecting your love for your dad.
I know...that one does make the most sense, yet I feel so guilty since I don't have my brothers-in-law really involved in any way!
bettybcafe
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Re: Walking down the aisle dilemma.....
Posted by GettinHutched
Posted by bettybcafe
Out of all those choices..I would opt for walking down the aisle alone while carrying something reflecting your love for your dad.
I know...that one does make the most sense, yet I feel so guilty since I don't have my brothers-in-law really involved in any way!
I see ur point. But I think there would be too much going on if you have one walk you half way and then have the other one take over...JMO. Why not make them groomsmen?
GettinHutched
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Re: Walking down the aisle dilemma.....
Posted by bettybcafe
I see ur point. But I think there would be too much going on if you have one walk you half way and then have the other one take over...JMO. Why not make them groomsmen?
I would love that...but I really wanted FH's groomsmen to be his choice. He only wanted his two best men. And I'm not asking his sister...and he's not asking his brother. Just felt like it was unfair that way, ya know?
bettybcafe
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Re: Walking down the aisle dilemma.....
Yes. I completly understand...how bout making them ushers? Just a thought.
GettinHutched
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Re: Walking down the aisle dilemma.....
Posted by bettybcafe
Yes. I completly understand...how bout making them ushers? Just a thought.
That's definitely a possibility- thanks! It was really my sister who gave me the idea of using my BILs to walk me down the aisle. The thing is though, my one BIL I've known since I was 9 so I feel like he technically IS my brother. If I had to choose one over the other, it would be him. But I'd hate to hurt my other BIL's feelings.
Yeah this is fun!
bettybcafe
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Re: Walking down the aisle dilemma.....
Posted by GettinHutched
Posted by bettybcafe
Yes. I completly understand...how bout making them ushers? Just a thought.
That's definitely a possibility- thanks! It was really my sister who gave me the idea of using my BILs to walk me down the aisle. The thing is though, my one BIL I've known since I was 9 so I feel like he technically IS my brother. If I had to choose one over the other, it would be him. But I'd hate to hurt my other BIL's feelings.
Yeah this is fun!
I understand...I do feel like sometimes too..weddings are such pain in the butts...but Im glad I could help
werock0709
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Re: Walking down the aisle dilemma.....
I can totally relate. My father was never in my life, and my moms BF who basicly helped raise us, has since passed. I'm having my 8 years old son and mommy walk me down. My mom is very shy infront of people, so if she opts out, then it'll just be me and my son Lucas. Talk about an emotional wreck.....Darren is saying vows to Lucas as well . But in your case, maybe you can have a pin made of your Dad, and pin it on your bo-k, and have your Brothers -in- law walk you down. Thats what I would do.
missgwife
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Re: Walking down the aisle dilemma.....
Posted by werock0709
I can totally relate. My father was never in my life, and my moms BF who basicly helped raise us, has since passed. I'm having my 8 years old son and mommy walk me down. My mom is very shy infront of people, so if she opts out, then it'll just be me and my son Lucas. Talk about an emotional wreck.....Darren is saying vows to Lucas as well . But in your case, maybe you can have a pin made of your Dad, and pin it on your bo-k, and have your Brothers -in- law walk you down. Thats what I would do.
Great idea
GettinHutched
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Re: Walking down the aisle dilemma.....
Posted by werock0709
I can totally relate. My father was never in my life, and my moms BF who basicly helped raise us, has since passed. I'm having my 8 years old son and mommy walk me down. My mom is very shy infront of people, so if she opts out, then it'll just be me and my son Lucas. Talk about an emotional wreck.....Darren is saying vows to Lucas as well . But in your case, maybe you can have a pin made of your Dad, and pin it on your bo-k, and have your Brothers -in- law walk you down. Thats what I would do.
Awww that is so sweet! I love that he'll be saying vows to your son too- that is just so special!
Thanks for the idea- that's a good one. Hmmm something else to think about........
Thanks! It's a tough decision to make...
donegal419
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Re: Walking down the aisle dilemma.....
Posted by bettybcafe
Out of all those choices..I would opt for walking down the aisle alone while carrying something reflecting your love for your dad.
Me too.... i second this...
I've seen this done... and honestly, it was so emotional and poignant because everyone knew why her Dad wasn't walking her down the aisle...
billandme
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Re: Walking down the aisle dilemma.....
Posted by bettybcafe
Out of all those choices..I would opt for walking down the aisle alone while carrying something reflecting your love for your dad.
This is the route that I would go as well...... I think it would mean a lot to you There are so many other things that your FBIL's can do to be a part of the wedding..........
milana
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Re: Walking down the aisle dilemma.....
Posted by billandme
Posted by bettybcafe
Out of all those choices..I would opt for walking down the aisle alone while carrying something reflecting your love for your dad.
This is the route that I would go as well...... I think it would mean a lot to you There are so many other things that your FBIL's can do to be a part of the wedding..........
I have to agree...this is the best option.
D's Girl
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Re: Walking down the aisle dilemma.....
Ok, I had the same issue. My Dad passed away and I was having my Mom walk me down. All she kept saying was 'I don't want to walk you down alone, yada, yada' so I then decided on my 2 brothers and have a dance with my Mom.
After much consideration and thought, I said I wanted my Mom and only my Mom. She is such a strong women and I told her I wanted her by my side.
So it's me and Mom and I am dancing with my 2 brothers. I am also tying a frame with a picture of my father to my BQ, so it will be as both are walking me down.
Do whatever you feel is right for you, there is no right or wrong here.
BlushingBride714
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Re: Walking down the aisle dilemma.....
Honestly, I think it's going to be really emotional what ever you decide. Here's another option if you don't want to pick one of your BIL over the other -- you could have them both walk you down. One on each arm.
I also like the idea of walking down alone with something of your dad's. I saw this in a magazine and thought it was a very touching idea:
Thank you everyone for your support and ideas....ugh I hate being so unsure! The funny thing was, I was sure for a long time that I wanted to walk down alone- but of course, the family gets involved and has their ideas and then it throws things out of wack for me. I love my BILs too so part of me wants them to walk me down the aisle but........UGH!!! I know it's my decision to make- it's just a hard one!
AlliCatB
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Re: Walking down the aisle dilemma.....
I like the idea of your little Tommy walking you - then you don't have to choose between BILs and it would be very sweet. I'm having my uncle walk me because my father also passed away. and I'm also tying his wedding band to my bouquet so I have him walking with me.
oh and I should add, I know someone who walked alone. It looked very pretty in pictures but it made her miss her father even more when she had no one to walk with. Something to think about. It's going to be a hard adjustment without them and undoubtedly highly emotional - that's why I opted for an escort, so I don't get tooooo sad
tricia3381
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Re: Walking down the aisle dilemma.....
Posted by milana
Posted by billandme
Posted by bettybcafe
Out of all those choices..I would opt for walking down the aisle alone while carrying something reflecting your love for your dad.
This is the route that I would go as well...... I think it would mean a lot to you There are so many other things that your FBIL's can do to be a part of the wedding..........
