Anyone having problems w/ bridesmaid? She is my best friend since elementary school. We stopped talking for 3 years and now for a year now are great friends again (well thought so). When I asked her to be a bridesmaid she was so happy, even her mom said she was thrilled. She was my last maid to get to the bridal salon to try on dresses. She gave me evry excuse in the book not to go. Now that the dresses are in she hasnt gone to pick them up. Unfortunately the place we got the dresses, their policy is to keep the dress at your house till the first fitting. I know she is very busy, she owns a cafe. But she never calls me, or when I call she never calls back. Am I overreacting? There was another girl who I almost asked and now kicking myself for NOT doing it. What should I do?? Thanks guys so much for listening. My fiance said that I should have never asked her to begin with.
Mary
Posted:
Member since
Want to give boot to bridesmaid!!! (LONG)
I would try to understand her situation: she may be consumed with some other personal matter and just not have to time to deal with your wedding right now. We brides become consumed with our wedding, and it is unfair to other participants to assume they should be consumed with it as well. (Although, I agree she should be somewhat involved since she accepted your invitation to be a bridesmaid.) Why don't you offer to pick up the dress and hold the dress at your place, if she doesn't have time to get it?
Elizabeth
Posted:
Member since
Want to give boot to bridesmaid!!! (EVEN LONGER)
This is all just my opinion but - I`m sure your fi is just trying to be helpful but whether you should or shouldn`t have asked, you did and now the question is what to do. I agree with the advice about giving her the option to back out. Put it on her rather than giving her the boot. Do it as diplomatically as possible so it can never be said that your are a 'hysterical bride', which seems to be something that people tend to believe. Just say (even if you believe there is some other underlying reason) that she seems very busy etc etc and that unfortunately a schedule needs to be kept with the coordination of the bridesmaids & fittings and you would understand if she needs to back out. Then if she says she wants to still be in, THEN again tell her what needs to be done. Try to stay unemotional when dealing with her. For some reason, you learn a lot about the people in your life and who can and can`t be there for you during this happy time. We all seem to have a story or two...
If she still continues to be difficult, then you already tried to be accommodating and can then either confront her verbally on what her issue is or 'unask her'. Don`t allow people to rain on your parade though...just chalk it up to whatever her issue is, it was there all along and would have come out sooner or later anyway. Weddings sometimes put Miracle Grow on relationship issues with close friends & family. Either it flourishes or decays....it`s weird but true. I hope this helps.
I just want to say Thanks so much from the bottom of my heart for listening. I dont know what I would do if I have never found this website. I think its the greatest. Thanks again for letting me vent. Lots of luck to you all.
