Last Tuesday, we went to the 'briefing' for Pre-Cana and we had to fill out a 156 question questionnaire... the third question was, 'Do you and your companion plan to partake in a very aggressive and active sexual life?' I was giggling like a little kid... Then a few questions, later they asked if, 'My companion and I were in agreement as to how much we plan to donate to the Catholic church'.... I thought these questions were both highly innapropriate. Tonight we 'discuss' the answers... I tell you... the Catholic church is getting a bit strange lately....
tanielle5k
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FH and I took the same 'test'. Although some of the questions do sound wierd, some of them really are applicable and make sense. The porpose of even taking it is to bring up the things that couples generally disagree about...and while and active and aggressive sex life may not be one of them, there were a few on there that I'm sure some couples don't talk about ahead of time.
May05Bride
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Chrissa
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Its funny you wrote this. My FH and I took the same test. Before we took it they tell you it isnt pass fail, it is just to see how FH and you feel about important subject blah blah you can't fail......
Today the preist calls and tells us we passed. And there dont seem to be any major problems between us! So much for not a pass fail test huh?!?!?!?
jaclyncalderon
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what is an 'aggressive' sex life??
whips and chains or is about # per week??
curliegirl
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That is strange! Can yo guys tell me how I go about 'doing' pre-cana. I am getting married upstate and I have a church down here. Do I have to go upstate?
jennymac
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Sex is very important to a healthy marriage. I heard the test is just to bring up some issues that you might not have talked about before the wedding day. it would be awful to find out after, i guess.
Johnny&Maur
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Some of the questions were weird to us too and seemed a bit inappropriate...but then again, they are under the assumption everyone is waiting for marriage...the question we laughed at was 'are you afraid your sig. other will engage in homosexual acts once married?' (or something similar..i may have worded it wrong). GEEZ! It was weird!!
We just ended precana...overall a good experience, but certain topics I personally disagreed with..
SFP0214
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I think I go to a very 'progressive'church. We had no test and no talk on 'natuaral family planning' I go to St. Williams in Seaford. I always got the feeling that they were very wise to how the world works and were not expecting anyone to be saints. I think that they preach to 'real people' and don't cover thier eyes and pretend that the world isn't how it really is. I read all these posts on catholic priests refusing to marry people who live together and whatnot. My priest knows, has no problem with it. Every single couple in precana was living together and no one hid it. I guess I am just glad that I go to church where I do.
jeanla4c
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THe FOCCUS questionaire....yes! Some of it feels weird but it is actually good to see where you may disagree or need to talk more...Some of the questions are red flags for the priest (abotu abuse, homosexuality, etc) to try to make sure people should get married.
Johnny&Maur
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Our church was very kind to us in all aspects, don't get me wrong..they knew we were living together and we never had opinions pushed upon us, but we were more or less told what the church believes...and whether i like it or not, there are basic catholic fundamentals that they of course would like you to follow...and i guess feel its necessary to at least relay those points to young catholic couples.
the NFP didn't sit well with me. But the couple was young and not pushy, rather just showed us the concept and all..I know its definitely not for me though!!
Goldi1021
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Posted by jaclyncalderon
what is an 'aggressive' sex life??
whips and chains or is about # per week??
I was thinking the same thing! I am not Catholic but I love learning how different cultures approach marriage.
ONE of the definitions of aggressive is 'marked by obtrusive energy'. Using that definition, I wouldn't find the question as offensive or intrusive. I guess they want to know if you REALLY want to have kids.
In Judaism, the whole purpose of marriage is to be fruitful and multiply. I work with many orthodox women (i am not) and asked them if they are allowed to indulge in sexual activity for pleasure and not procreation. Their response: 'it is a wife's duty to serve her husband in that capacity.' I was cracking up. In my little world, let him serve ME!!!
In essence, ALL of our cultures have their sweet lil customs.
DayBeforeThanksgiving
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RESULTS are in!!! We went back to pre-cana last night and got our FOCUS results....
We did really well! The teacher actually saw our scores and said we were so compatible we should be teaching the class! hahaha! They seperated all the couples to discuss the results... it was so funny to see how different couples reacted. Greg and I went through the answers we disagreed on and laughed at some of the silly questions, the other couple next to us, were very serious, taking notes, etc. and the other couple (Did very bad on their 'test' were fighting and yelling at each other) pretty funny! Overall, it's a pretty good experience, but some of the questions were just 'out there'
