Was FOCCUS helpful?

nov04LIbride Posted: Aug 04, 2004 04:01 PM

Was FOCCUS helpful?

I am scheduling a FOCCUS session for FH and me--did those of you who did it find that it was helpful?

Jordan Posted: Aug 04, 2004 04:04 PM

Re: Was FOCCUS helpful?

I think it might be more helpful had we been given a copy of the questions afterwards with our results. We got neither. That said, it was OK - took about an hour.

jfabbride Posted: Aug 04, 2004 04:05 PM

Re: Was FOCCUS helpful?

Nope...when they compared our answers we scored the highest in sexuality and lowest in spirituality. I would think the majority of most couples score similar. In this day and age most couples have already dealth with the issues of sexuality, but most haven't discussed religion, spirituality, life after death, that type of stuff.

Stacey04 Posted: Aug 04, 2004 04:05 PM

Re: Was FOCCUS helpful?

Some of it was. We haven't gone over it yet with the other couple, but when we left we asked each other what we put for certain things.

Some of the questions are a little ridiculous IMO

allaboutthecake Posted: Aug 04, 2004 08:43 PM

Re: Was FOCCUS helpful?

I thought it went fine. We did talk more after the test than we did after our meeting to go over the test. We met with our neighbor to go over the test because she does the focus...she told us that one time a bride got so mad she started screaming at her FI and then started saying that the test was so stupid and ridiculous. Then another time a bride started to cry because of one of the questions and had to leave. For my FI and I we had a lot of unsure answers and they view those as automatic problem areas....so then they have to go over those questions. I thought it was good...but you are really just explaining your answers to the 'proctor' and not each other.

madison630 Posted: Aug 04, 2004 11:37 PM

Re: Was FOCCUS helpful?

We went to get our foccus results 3 weeks ago. It was over so quick. They let us look at the graphs, then took away our question and answer sheets. If they want this to be an effective tool they should let you go home with the questions/answers so you can sit alone, and go over together without 10 other couples in the room. Regardless its just an unnecessary psychological test that does not mean much of anything in the end.

prncssrachel Posted: Aug 04, 2004 11:48 PM

Re: Was FOCCUS helpful?

What kinds of questions do they ask? We are not looking forward to this. I hate feeling like I'm being judged.

madison630 Posted: Aug 04, 2004 11:49 PM

Re: Was FOCCUS helpful?

Did you take the survey yet, or are you going to get the results?

prncssrachel Posted: Aug 04, 2004 11:57 PM

Re: Was FOCCUS helpful?

Oh no, we didn't take the survey yet.

madison630 Posted: Aug 05, 2004 12:00 AM

Re: Was FOCCUS helpful?

It is nothing to worry about. It is basically a survey that has alot of questions. They are all agree/disagree answers. You and your fiance fill out the surveys. Then later on you meet with the foccus coordinator and get the results which compare both of your answers.

chris605 Posted: Aug 05, 2004 12:13 AM

Re: Was FOCCUS helpful?

I definetly DONT think so - They compared our answers to what the church felt was right - I just didnt think it helped - It would have if they let us know where we differed... BUT they didnt...

samsbride Posted: Aug 05, 2004 01:31 AM

Re: Was FOCCUS helpful?

NO - We thought it was a waste of time.
How many times were they going to ask me if I was pregnant?

BCTM33 Posted: Aug 05, 2004 09:24 AM

Re: Was FOCCUS helpful?

Th etest we took was approx. 20 questions we took it in the room together it was basically like:
Do you plan to enter into your marriage and be faithful (no homosexual behavior, porn, etc.)
Have you been married before?
Are you pregnant?
Can you get pregnant?
Do you attend mass?
Do you have any children froma previous relationship?
Do you have a drug, alcohol. or gambling problem?
Will you raise your children Catholic?

Stuff like that. We didn't get our score but I think we answered everything correctly - it was pretty much common sense. You know how they want you to answer....

dpli Posted: Aug 05, 2004 11:18 AM

Re: Was FOCCUS helpful?

I actually found it to be somewhat helpful. It is over 100 questions that you answer on a scantron sheet that are from categories such as sex, family dynamics, finances, religious beliefs, desire/ability to have children, career and lifestyle. We discovered that we had already discussed most of these things before taking the test, but it did spark some good conversations between us after we took it. I would imagine if you had not really discussed some of these things before, it could be a good way to start off a conversation.

As for the follow-up, I think it depends a lot on the couple you see afterwards. The couple we met with was great- they did not judge us at all, but just said, these are the questions you disagreed on and you might want to talk about them either there or later on when we were alone. They were also very practical and said that they did not agree 100% with the church's 'suggested' answer on some of the questions. I do agree with some of the other posters, however, that it would be helpful to have the results to take home and look over later if you choose to do so.