so i just sent this email to my 'best friend' who is NOT my moh- and I am nervous now!! was this bad?
hey kimmie- i was talking to alley re. my party and she mentioned that you may not be coming because dave wasn't invited- huh? when i spoke to you about it, i told you the reason we couldn't invite everyone's boyfriend/girlfriend- neither of evan's sisters were even invited with their boyfriends.as i told you, the only ones we invited are people who live together or are engaged. we only invited our BEST friends...and at the time you seemed fine with it- you said you understood. i also told you that if it was a big issue b/c you guys were going to that wedding then that is another thing and you can bring him. i am just confused honestly because i just figured of course you would come NO MATTER WHAT- because you are my friend- and then i have to hear from someone else that you might not- if anything i should be hearing it from you!! the whole point of this party was so that our families and closest friends could all meet to celebrate...
i am just really upset and hurt because this is supposed to be a joyous time in my life and instead i am feeling like this-i am sorry if this email seems mean but i just am very upset and feel it is only fair to let you know how i feel.
love chloe
ETA: when I say 'going to that wedding' they were 'thinking about' going to a wedding in rhode island that weekend and would come to my party on the way back...
Suzannebride
Posted:
Member since
Re: was this bad? rp from 06
Well, I would probably expect her to be on the defensive, but I don't think your e-mail was bad. I think it's actually good that you put everything out there instead of letting it get to you. This way she can explain herself. Maybe it is just a misunderstanding or maybe she won't realize until she reads your e-mail how important everything is to you. I hope it all works out!
bluesashbride
Posted:
Member since
Re: was this bad? rp from 06
i proly would have called her...email sometimes just makes things worse.
amazon_gracie
Posted:
Member since
Re: was this bad? rp from 06
I dont think it's bad that you sent the letter. If she's supposedly your best friend she should know that you're not trying to snub her boyfriend. If she had a true problem with it, she should have been honest with you when you talked to her about it. She shouldn't not go because she can't bring him. Perhaps she really wants to go but her concern is what her boyfriend will do while she's at the wedding. If they're going straight after the RI wedding. she might not want to leave him in the car for a few hours alone although, it wouldn't kill him to drop her off and pick her up or... have her find a ride home at the end.
buggiegirl
Posted:
Member since
Re: was this bad? rp from 06
Posted by bluesashbride
i proly would have called her...email sometimes just makes things worse.
I know- but I guess I am a little coward
we have been dancing around this subject- every time i call her she is distant and just gets off the phone- i guess i just wanted to get it out NOW!!
usuk2004
Posted:
Member since
Re: was this bad? rp from 06
Posted by buggiegirl
Posted by bluesashbride
i proly would have called her...email sometimes just makes things worse.
I know- but I guess I am a little coward
we have been dancing around this subject- every time i call her she is distant and just gets off the phone- i guess i just wanted to get it out NOW!!
I agree with calling her. To be honest, not inviting significant others is always going to be a touchy situation and I dont' blame her for being upset. I mean, why is the relationship of a person who is co-habitating more important than her and her BF's? JMO. I think she really deserved a phone call and I don't think you're going to get the answer you're looking for, if any answer at all, via email. then you have to go back and forth leaving more room for misunderstanding.
I would definitely give her a call|!
buggiegirl
Posted:
Member since
Re: was this bad? rp from 06
Posted by usuk2004
Posted by buggiegirl
Posted by bluesashbride
i proly would have called her...email sometimes just makes things worse.
I know- but I guess I am a little coward
we have been dancing around this subject- every time i call her she is distant and just gets off the phone- i guess i just wanted to get it out NOW!!
I agree with calling her. To be honest, not inviting significant others is always going to be a touchy situation and I dont' blame her for being upset. I mean, why is the relationship of a person who is co-habitating more important than her and her BF's? JMO. I think she really deserved a phone call and I don't think you're going to get the answer you're looking for, if any answer at all, via email. then you have to go back and forth leaving more room for misunderstanding.
I would definitely give her a call|!
I kind of feel like I have given her the opportunity to discuss her feelings with me when I initially called her to explain- and just to clarify, the reason someone who is cohabitating is more important is because 1) I think it is so rude to send an invite to a home where both people live and only invite one of them, and 2) she has only been dating this guy for 4 months.
It is honestly not about all that- it is really about the fact that my parents CAN NOT afford everyone's boyfriend/girlfriend to come- she is the ONLY one wioth a problem and didn't even say it to ME- said it to a mutual friend. IMO she is being a terrible friend...maybe I am not handling it 100% the best way possible but I have tried and at this point I am very frustrated...
lilacwine
Posted:
Member since
Re: was this bad? rp from 06
I'm confused. Is your party actually your wedding or some other party?
buggiegirl
Posted:
Member since
Re: was this bad? rp from 06
it is my eparty
eogara
Posted:
Member since
Re: was this bad? rp from 06
Posted by buggiegirl
it is my eparty
If this is your best friend, I don't think I understand why you're not inviting her boyfriend I'd be pi$$y if I were her too.
piat79
Posted:
Member since
Re: was this bad? rp from 06
Posted by eogara
Posted by buggiegirl
it is my eparty
If this is your best friend, I don't think I understand why you're not inviting her boyfriend I'd be pi$$y if I were her too.
agreed.
Johnny&Maur
Posted:
Member since
Re: was this bad? rp from 06
I agree with other posters..if this girl is a best friend there is no reason her boyfriend shouldn't be there. I would come up with the $$ for the extra head if i had too...I would be insulted. If she wanted to bring a guy she met the night before, then ok...you are justified. But her boyfriend is a big part of her life and how do you think she feels telling him she's attending her best friends party but he stays home?
buggiegirl
Posted:
Member since
Re: was this bad? rp from 06
Posted by Johnny&Maur
I agree with other posters..if this girl is a best friend there is no reason her boyfriend shouldn't be there. I would come up with the $$ for the extra head if i had too...I would be insulted. If she wanted to bring a guy she met the night before, then ok...you are justified. But her boyfriend is a big part of her life and how do you think she feels telling him she's attending her best friends party but he stays home?
here's how: 1) she has been dating this guy for 4 months and we have only met him once and 2) fh's sisters were invited without their boyfriends- we have very large families and cannot afford to invite everyone's sig. other- it would be literally 35 extra people which my parents CANNOT afford. So it didn't seem fair to invite her boyfriend but noone else's...
