Maybe it's just me, but I lie awake at night wondering about the cost of things. Not because they can't get paid for, but because I don't want to be charged too much because it's a WEDDING.
I always think I can get a better deal, or something... because I never really planned a wedding before I have no idea what these things are supposed to cost...
Any tips on negotiating? I'm not a hard-azz when it comes to this kind of stuff... I'm such a pushover, but it's our money this time and I want to make sure I'm not wasting it if I don't have to...
This wedding is going to be the death of me, I swear.
FutureMrsF2010
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Re: Wedding Anxiety
I feel the same way. I don't want to end up overpaying for a vendor so I'm taking my time before I book with someone. I'm mostly worried about flowers. I have ideas in my head that I wont deviate from, but on the same note, I dont want them to cost a fortune. I have appointments with 2 florists early next week and I'm going to see how they go. After that, I'm gonna make a few more appointments and then I also have 2 appointments at the end of the month. I dont want to end up worrying for the next year and a half that I made a hasty decision and didnt get something for the best price possible.
If you have a price in your head, tell them. See if they can work with it.
Opera_Ghost
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Re: Wedding Anxiety
Do you have a relative or friend who is good at bargaining with people? mIf so you should bring them with you when you go places.
My mom's boyfriend is excellent at it. He's got that 'You can't do better for us? Then we'll just go somewhere else' attitude that I just don't have. Someone like that is always a plus to have at your side at these things. The BM's rather have your business (to a point of course) then have you go give someone else the business. Every BM knows what they can & cannot give... you just have to play your cards right and go 'I have this much to spend per person.. what can you do?'
Hopefully he can pull some strings with a friend of his who owns a reception hall to get me a great price. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
stinenandy2010
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Re: Wedding Anxiety
AHHH!!! I post just got deleted.
Ok, so basically I know how you feel. FH & I are responsible for a few things for the wedding and its still costing us like $10k. I can't imagine paying for a whole wedding and I give you ladies who are a lot of credit.
Do your research, go to like ten vendors if you have to. I visited like six florists to make sure I was being ripped off.
As far as negotiating goes, you have to find a happy median. Don't be so overbearing where u tick them off, but don't seem like a push over. Best line is 'well so and so gave me this quote but i like you better, can you match it?'
As soon as money comes in, its just as fast out the door. I just spend $700 for a deposit on flowers and then a few hundred for FH to go to the last yankee game. It ***** b/c we are trying to save for a house.
cedesnyc
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Re: Wedding Anxiety
the best advice i can give you since I have all my vendors booked, is to shop around for prices w/ the vendors. You'll learn more about the services and get a better idea on pricing.
CristinanBen2010
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Re: Wedding Anxiety
My FH actually worries more than me. I try not to think about it cause I know if I do, I'll make myself sick. Its scary how much everything is and my FH and I are paying for most of the wedding but we made a spreadsheet of how much we can save in the two years and how much each thing we need to get needs to cost at the max. We neg. everything, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesnt. The band wouldn't budge but we really loved them so we had to settle but I was able to get a better deal at my rh by nagging them lol Hey it worked. Try not to work yourself too much. You dont want to get sick. Just remember its one day and you and your fh will remember all the details, not anyone else. As long as you to are happy, dont worry about anything else.
Hope that helps you
HallsLady
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Re: Wedding Anxiety
I know exactly how you feel, thinking about the cost in the grand scheme of things is...well depressing! I say negotiate, negotiate, negotiate and when all else fails walk away, remember that yes this is your wedding, and it may be expensive, but marriage is priceless. Many people spend so much on this one day, to only be poor the next day. Believe me, I want to have the most beautiful wedding possible but in real life I wouldn't think of spending 5k on flowers so why would I do it just for half a day. Remember that the word 'wedding' in front of things makes the price inflate exponentially, so don't let yourself fall victim to such ploys. Regardless, you are going to a BEAUTIFUL wedding and an equally wonderful marriage, and it's really the latter that counts
stinenandy2010
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Re: Wedding Anxiety
Just wanted to add this side note:
Last night FH & I actually got in a bit of a fight b/c of how much I've been spending lately. I just booked the florist which cost us $3k and like Hallslady said, spending that much on flowers is ridiclous but I loved them and wanted them. (I know it sounds selfish.)
FH said this: 'Christine all I care about is marrying YOU, I don't care about flowers, limos, halls, invitations, etc. The only thing I am looking forward to that day is marrying you and becoming your husband.'
At this point, I shut my mouth, (of course not admitting I was wrong! haha!) But really took what he said in. I am trying to be good but I know its difficult. Especially bc this is a day that you have probably dreamt about forever and will remember it forever.
christine2010
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Re: Wedding Anxiety
i feel the same way. once you say wedding, the dollar signs just appear in the air. i asked my mom if i can say its just a party & then just show up in a big fancy wedding dress. lol. she doesn't think that will work. one of the places i went to look at was very pricing about $150 per person guarantee 125 people & when my sister said thats a little too much for us, the woman looked at my engagement ring and said, 'i'm sure with a ring like that someone can pay for this.' i got so offended i walked out.
Goldie39
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Re: Wedding Anxiety
def. know what you mean. i have been re-evaluating my budget in every area. i think once i get all the major vendors booked I will be in a more comfortable place because then at least I'll know exactly how much a month we should be saving for everything.
shortiroc127
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Re: Wedding Anxiety
I have at least one melt down a day thinking about all the money. And FH is a bigger worrier than me, so I do my best to put on my 'it's all going to be fine face' when he gets home, but really I'm just freaking out!
JoanneAndJustin
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Re: Wedding Anxiety
I feel better, thanks you guys!! My mom doesn't like to spend money, and hates to see me ripped off, but in the end she'll say 'if that's what makes you happy, buy it.' so I don't know if she'd be of any help with negotiating. FH is more aware of our budget but he LOVES everything presented so I have to be the one to figure out if it's sensible.
Even if vendors come under my budget I want to see if I can make the price even lower... because I know if they quote me X price, they can probably quote me X-1000 or something...
christine2010, I always feel like saying 'Oh, I'm just having a party for 100 of my closest friends... no big deal.' to see if that changes the price
I'll get through it, but it's so much money... and we're trying to buy a house or a condo too!
Alyssa79
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Re: Wedding Anxiety
i always feel there's something 'better' out there and I hate that about myself. I think that's why i've been so hesitant about booking the hall (plus it's a huge commitment!! Now don't think i'm a commitment phobe ...yes i do want to marry Fh and plan on being with him for life lol)
we are very lucky in the sense that we have 2 years to look into all this stuff.
LouMar2010
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Re: Wedding Anxiety
i think we all have those thoughts! right now im pushing them to the side because i feel i have enough time that i dont have to stress yet. lets just hope i dont continue to do that to the last minute.
