Wedding crashers and security

FH and I are expecting his ex to try to crash the wedding (they have been broken up for years but this is exactly the type of thing she would try to do, and has even threatened to do when she found out we were engaged). Has anyone used security guards/off-duty police officers before to stop crashers from entering the building? Can they arrest her? I don't want her to just stand outside yelling and stuff either.

Update -- I cannot even believe that I had to post a question like this! It makes my life sound like something out of a soap opera! If only she would get a job, a life, something... all of my exes figured out how to move on, I always moved on, why this stuff now? Our wedding is going to be small (family and close friends) and elegant, and I seriously though these things only happened on tv and not to me!

tell your banquet manager about the situation..... if you really think she will be there....

they can probably handle it

I would speak with you BM and explain the situation. They should be able to deal with such an issue.

If you feel that they can not or are not handling the situation to your liking, you can hire event security. I've had to hire security for a number of events and they totally blend into the room.

That's a terrible situation and I hope that she is adult enough to not try and crash your day. Your FH made his choice and it's not her.

Like the other girls said, I would tell your banquet manager. They have dealt with this before, they may have private security they use. You can also show them a picture of the girl & ask them to be on the lookout.

Also, call the local police station of the town where your reception is. We looked into this for our wedding & it was about $250 for the officer for the day. They come in a suit (not in uniform) and can act like a guest. You have to feed them, so add them to your count. if she showed up& caused a ruckus, the officer would likely show his badge & 'escort' her outside and ask her to leave. If she refused, he could call for a cruiser to come by & have her arrested with disorderly conduct.

ETA - if you are really scared about this girl ruining your day, I recommend not posting too much info about your wedding on this board. Its a public forum. If you post the day & place where you are getting married, she'll know exactly where to go. Just a thought.....

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Posted by carolinebr

Like the other girls said, I would tell your banquet manager. They have dealt with this before, they may have private security they use. You can also show them a picture of the girl & ask them to be on the lookout.

Also, call the local police station of the town where your reception is. We looked into this for our wedding & it was about $250 for the officer for the day. They come in a suit (not in uniform) and can act like a guest. You have to feed them, so add them to your count. if she showed up& caused a ruckus, the officer would likely show his badge & 'escort' her outside and ask her to leave. If she refused, he could call for a cruiser to come by & have her arrested with disorderly conduct.

ETA - if you are really scared about this girl ruining your day, I recommend not posting too much info about your wedding on this board. Its a public forum. If you post the day & place where you are getting married, she'll know exactly where to go. Just a thought.....

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wow thanks for this info!!

I know I am going to have a similar problem with my ex. I just figured hiring private security would be the best I could do. But, for almost the same price... an actual officer would be even better! I didn't even think of that as an option.

Well, my FH has a psycho ex too...
FYI - We've been together for over 5 years so it's taking her quite a bit longer than most people to GET OVER IT!

All my BM know what she looks like, so they will be on alert... I doubt she'd have the b***s to show up though... But if she does, maybe I could start a new show called 'When Brides Attack!'

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Posted by EsquireBride

But then how do my guests know that important info? What if they get confused? And I don't want to have to 'hide' these important details (as you may have noticed, I haven't filled in much info for my profile yet). I want to let people know where I am getting married because I am excited! And if she tries hard enough, she can figure it out anyway by a combo of people we all know, and random obvious guessing.

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Your guests will get invitations or maybe save the dates so they will know. I'm just saying anyone can view your info on this site.

I really DO NOT want to scare you. Enjoy your wedding planning. Most of the time, they don't have the b@lls to show anyway.

This is exactly what she wanted, she wanted you to go crazy and panic. That B**** wants attention and wants everyone knowing about what shes about to do. She probably doesn't even have the guts to do it. Your his fiance now, hold your head up high and don't let her ruin your wedding/plans. Just like the girls said your RH manager should take care of the situation
Good Luck!

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Posted by tinadansr

tell your banquet manager about the situation..... if you really think she will be there....

they can probably handle it

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I agree, make BM aware and let them deal with it.

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Posted by EsquireBride

FH and I are expecting his ex to try to crash the wedding (they have been broken up for years but this is exactly the type of thing she would try to do, and has even threatened to do when she found out we were engaged). Has anyone used security guards/off-duty police officers before to stop crashers from entering the building? Can they arrest her? I don't want her to just stand outside yelling and stuff either.

Update -- I cannot even believe that I had to post a question like this! It makes my life sound like something out of a soap opera! If only she would get a job, a life, something... all of my exes figured out how to move on, I always moved on, why this stuff now? Our wedding is going to be small (family and close friends) and elegant, and I seriously though these things only happened on tv and not to me!

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If your that worried about her showing and causing a crazy scene why dont you look into having a destination wedding.

If you do hire security, make sure that they are insured (ask your hall what they require). I'd hate for the security officer to have to handle a situation, get hurt, then sue the hall, who then sues you if they don't have adequate insurance.

Talk to your BM about it.

And I SO did not calm you down. Sorry!