wedding excitement is non-existent

wedding excitement is non-existent

with everything going on with my mom, working non-stop to pay for the wedding, running on empty most of the time, and just having a jam packed schedule, i just dont have any excitement about the wedding anymore.

im seriously in tears b/c part of me just wants to elope and call the huge celebration off. im so afraid my mom's health is going to continue to get worse. FH has been on-and-off supportive. he helps in the easy ways - driving me places, etc. but the emotional support is null. i feel like im doing this all alone.

i have to handle my own bridal shower b/c no one is stepping up. FMIL mentioned something for the first time about it the other day and said 'i want to help' but didnt say with what. everytime i think she is happy about the wedding something happens and it makes me think she isn't.

everytime i think about wedding stuff - i cry and just want to avoid it. a time that SHOULD be fun is anything but that.

i just feel so alone in all of this and i have no one to turn to. i hate feeling like one of those salf loathing 'bridezillas' but shouldnt i enjoy this time? shouldn't FH and I be doing this all together?

our sisters are nothing but drama (mine more than his') we have a small army for a bridal party and no one has ever really offered to help with anything. they say 'just ask' but am i being a total brat that i shouldnt have to ask? when they do things and were getting married i was asking all the time what can i do for you. the day of their weddings, anything they wanted i got.

im just so tired and instead of looking forward to wedding related stuff, i am trying to avoid it at all costs.

Re: wedding excitement is non-existent

Awe! I'm so sorry! It sounds like you need to take a break from wedding stuff and just let yourself relax a little bit. Everything will fall into place- I started feeling really stressed at my 4 month mark and since then I've been much better. I asked for help from my bridesmaids, family, FH. You shouldn't have to ask for help but I would ask. Every little bit helps.

Re: wedding excitement is non-existent

Hey girly!!! I am the same way... I tell people that and they look at me as if I have grown a horn or something... I can't say it'll get better (I hate it when people say it to me). No one knows if it will...point blank. My adivce is do what I did... I just simply have taken a couple weeks and did nothing wedding related. Sounds crazy since I am less than three months away from mine but hell if i don't find work again soon there won't be one for me..... Time and time again I think can i just cancel the whole damn thing and elope.... I mean we are doing this because of FH's family basically... sometimes I wonder why are we doing this? I lost my excitement when I lost my job. Now it's eh... let's get it over with. As for a shower I told everyone I didnt want one or a bachelor party. Matter of fact FH & I are just going out for the BP and having a nice 'date night'. It really $uck$ when you think all of these people say oh I will help but when it comes time to they are non-existent. If you need help you have to F*ing BEG why beg they offered right then why are they not asking you... Sorry if I am rambling.... It's just this is some of them same crap I am dealing with and it makes me soo MAD especially when I see someone else dealing with the same BS.

Re: wedding excitement is non-existent

I'm so sorry about your Mom's health and I'm sorry you aren't excited. I won't say it will all be okay because I obviously have no idea if it will be and I hate to humor people. I can tell you that I felt exactly like you did and then something changed and I just started to enjoy the planning again. HOpefully the same will happen for you and your Mom will be okay.

Re: wedding excitement is non-existent

Sometimes the enormity of it all gets to me also and I want to elope also.

I'm sorry for your mom's health. I know you want your BM's to take more iniative...but lighting the fire under them isn't bad either...and there is nothing wrong with asking for help. They can't know what you need help with unless you tell them. Talk, email, get the communication flow going between you and so the feel comfortable communicating amongst themselves.

Re: wedding excitement is non-existent

I am so Sorry you are going through this. I had a similar experience. I didn't want anythign to do with the wedding plans. And I talked to FH and My mother and everything was better. Even though somethigns never changed. BUt I still got it out in the open. You need to tell them how you feel and not keep it all bottled up inside you. There were so many time sI just wanted to go elope also. I think alot of people get to that point at least once.

Re: wedding excitement is non-existent

Sorry about your mom. As the others stated please take time off from the wedding.

Re: wedding excitement is non-existent

Re: wedding excitement is non-existent

I went through similar feeling a few months ago. I don't think that you should be feeling joy and happiness through the entire planning process.

Things get very stressful and it may seem overwhelming at times but that's when I found that taking a step away for a bit helps.

I took about two weeks and didn't do anything wedding related. I even left the boards for about 2 months because I found I got very anxious when I read about everything girls were getting done and I'd begin to feel as if I wasn't doing enough.

When you are ready you should talk to you BP and family and tell them how you are feeling, especially with your mom's health condition. If they know what's going on in your head then hopefully they will step up and start helping you out more. No, you shouldn't have to ask but sometimes people don't think to just offer their help.


I'm glad to hear your mom's white blood cell count is up!

Re: wedding excitement is non-existent

Re: wedding excitement is non-existent

I can't even imagine what you're going through. the most important thing is your mom. the party is not really as important at all. it sounds like you have more on your hands than you can handle. try to keep everything low key and not spend $$$. at least that might take a little of the load off. as long as you got food, love, and music you got a party. forget gifts and ceremony decor, that takes a lot of $$$ out of the budget and doesn't effect the party.

forget the little details and spend your time with mom. def keep posting if you need to vent and best of luck 2 u