wedding gift?

Ok I hope I don't sound cheap...but money is tight!
I have 3 different wedding situations....
What is a good wedding gift to give when you have to

1.travle up state, pay for a hotel room? (friend from collage live with for 2 years and don't really talk)

2. In her wedding party, Travel up state, pay for hotel room (friend from collage...talk to a lot..she will be in mine unless she gets pregnant)

3. Week after I get married....(can't start our HM until after 7/14/07)travel to Europe, pay for hotel?

My FH thinks we need to give $400 to #1
$500-#2&3...FH says we will just get it back...but I don't think so..or at least we can't bank on that....i think he is crazy sometimes!

btw has anyone ever gone to a wedding in Ireland? I heard it's not like LI where you come with an envelop...u bring a gift?...but they are from LI...my FH middle school friend.
What so I do?

My motto is you give what you are able to give. Honestly yes if theres travel expense or hotel expense we do give a small gift, but never lower than 200 from both of us.

$400 seems a little high for me, but if its a very close friend or relative it is understandable.

$400 sounds really high! I certainly don't expect to get anywhere near that much from my friends, or from most of my guests, for that matter... maybe from some really close family.

I don't know... I really don't think that people give anywhere near that much to just random friends... especially once you leave Long Island.

I'd go with 200. You guys have your own stuff happenin. If anything they should understand, and normally you give a gift to cover your plate, so 200 bucks is sufficient!! Don't stress, and by the way... I think your husbands nuts for wanting to give that much

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Posted by Montegin05

Ok I hope I don't sound cheap...but money is tight!
I have 3 different wedding situations....
What is a good wedding gift to give when you have to

1.travle up state, pay for a hotel room? (friend from collage live with for 2 years and don't really talk)

2. In her wedding party, Travel up state, pay for hotel room (friend from collage...talk to a lot..she will be in mine unless she gets pregnant)

3. Week after I get married....(can't start our HM until after 7/14/07)travel to Europe, pay for hotel?

My FH thinks we need to give $400 to #1
$500-#2&3...FH says we will just get it back...but I don't think so..or at least we can't bank on that....i think he is crazy sometimes!

btw has anyone ever gone to a wedding in Ireland? I heard it's not like LI where you come with an envelop...u bring a gift?...but they are from LI...my FH middle school friend.
What so I do?

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Wow, $400?? that sounds like a lot to me. I think you should give what you are more comfortable with. You are a really generous frield though.

Wow - FH is a bit overly generous...should I print out your invite now? -JK. no seriously with travel and expenses 200 is fine for both 1 & 3. I would suggest around 300 for the girl you are close with.

#1 200
#2&3 300-500, depending on what you can afford.

wow. my FH goes by the doub;e your plate standard.. which is pretty standard, however if $$ is tight I'd say$200 to #1 sounds fair & to # 2 & 3 depending what you can afford, I think it would be fine to give $300 or $400.

We actuallyknow someone who gives an empty envelope if thay have to travel I could never do that, but to each his own

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Posted by transamgirlie

with travel and expenses 200 is fine for both 1 & 3. I would suggest around 300 for the girl you are close with.

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I agree

EMPTY...OMG i would never ...i know i will obviously cover the plate but the last time i was at a wedding up state it was cocktail hour only and cash bar and i gave 200, b/c i was in the wedding party and didn't go with a guest (i later found out the plate cost $45) so that is why i am reaching out....so i can start to 'argueing' the point now to my FH

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Posted by Montegin05

Ok I hope I don't sound cheap...but money is tight!
I have 3 different wedding situations....
What is a good wedding gift to give when you have to

1.travle up state, pay for a hotel room? (friend from collage live with for 2 years and don't really talk)



2. In her wedding party, Travel up state, pay for hotel room (friend from collage...talk to a lot..she will be in mine unless she gets pregnant)


3. Week after I get married....(can't start our HM until after 7/14/07)travel to Europe, pay for hotel?



My FH thinks we need to give $400 to #1
$500-#2&3...FH says we will just get it back...but I don't think so..or at least we can't bank on that....i think he is crazy sometimes!

btw has anyone ever gone to a wedding in Ireland? I heard it's not like LI where you come with an envelop...u bring a gift?...but they are from LI...my FH middle school friend.
What so I do?

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I would give $300 to #1, $400 to # 2 and $300 to #3

XOXO
Kitty

Plate X 1.5 is a basic amount that Anthony says is OK.

So if 2 of you are going and it costs 100 / plate give 300 minimum. For closer friends give a little extra if you can.

Your friends know what you are going through, at least WE hope they do because anthony and I have a few weddings this spring and summer as well as 1 we cannot attend (still sendina gift) because it is on the same date as another.

The travel to Europe wedding - WOW! That is a huge finacial kick in the butt.

Wow....you and your husband and more than welcome to come to my reception!!!

I know this is kinda petty.....but I actually went upstate about two weeks ago and was discussing wedding plans with one of my college friends who is getting married. I know you're not supposed to go solely based on per head rate....but the upstate weddings are SOOO much cheaper... My friend is having a wedding of 250-275....her entire wedding is costing her 12K. (Top to bottom, vendors included).....She was shocked when I told her that that wouldn't even cover my reception only.. Plus, you should factor in the costs for travel and hotel.... I would say that 200, would be more than generous for the friend that you are not really close with.....

As far as the one that you are in....I would say give what you can....i'm sure you're friend would completely understand being that you are planing a wedding yourself....


Afterall, it's not about the gifts right??

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Posted by laural2979

Wow, $400! That sounds like a lot of money, especially if you have to travel. I would probably only give $200.

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Me too. But do what you feel is right, they are your friends. But they also understand the strain in being involved in so many weddings.

I would say 200-300. If money was tight, 200. This may sound crass, but since others have already mentioned it, I'll bring it up too; upstate weddings are not like LI. People usually give gifts or a lesser amount of money compared to what folks from LI and the tri-state, metro area give (in my experience).

I wouldn't count on 'getting it back', so I would give whatever amount you feel comfortable with.