We have had a couple of problems with checks we received from guests at our wedding. Two people bounced a check to us, we tried to redeposit it again this week, and they bounced again. I feel strange saying something, would you? I feel like we should just let it go.
We also have 5 people who came to our wedding without a gift at all. Two people gave us a card with nothing in it, the other 3 gave nothing. One of these couples is getting married in April, we are going to their wedding and of course giving a gift. I feel weird about the whole thing.
What do we say in our thank you notes, just thank you for coming, we are glad you were there to share in this special day.
Maybe, I am weird, and I am just making it more weird than it is.
lori7570
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Re: wedding gift awkwardness
It is weird....the people you had checks bounce I would call them and tell them...I'm sure you were hit with some hefty fees. The other people I would call and say 'I think we misplaced your card, we just wanted to let you know so you can put a stop on the check'. This happened to my sister at my nephew's baptism...sure enough those people sent checks the next day!!
Bride908
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Re: wedding gift awkwardness
We had a gift bounce we ended up telling them b/c we werent sure if they know. Turns out they did. The said they would send something and didnt. So whoever bounced the check will know about it.
As for the nongifters, are you sure you didnt misplace the cards? We lost 2 envelopes at our wedding that I remember getting - who knows where I put them....
They say you shouldnt say anything to your guests but depending on your relationship with them maybe you can. The cards I remembered, I called and apologized and said Im sorry I know you gave me a card, did I lose it?
Jenn04
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Re: wedding gift awkwardness
Ugh - I feel for you...we've been there. But it happens to everyone
For the bounced checks...I have heard alot of people say they called to let the people know and the guest promised to send a new check but never did. As for me we did have 1 bounced check and it is DH's cousin and family of 6 who he is close with so he called them. They sent us a new check but it took a few months.
We had several no gifters and I refused to send them a thank you card. They gave nothing, not even a card! Arghh and it was some of DH's close friends. Many will say to just send a thank you for spending the day together.
We also are invited to a wedding this summer of a no gifter (my cousin). I am not quite sure what to do but we will probably give a small gift (its an out of state wedding).
Jenn04
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Re: wedding gift awkwardness
Also give it some time...a month or two...some people send gifts later on.
lori7570
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Re: wedding gift awkwardness
It's really awful have some people have no manners!! I would NEVER consider going to a wedding and not giving a gift!!!
jillyb97
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Re: wedding gift awkwardness
For the one's that you haven't received a gift from, I would wait a little bit...you don't know if maybe they will send something soon (I wouldn't wait too long, but, you don't want to make them feel awkward - possibly more awkward than they already do...)
As for the bounced checks, I had a similar situation...except that I was given one check, it bounced, given a second, deposited it, sent a thank you, and THEN it bounced!!!
MnM182008
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Re: wedding gift awkwardness
Posted by jillyb97
For the one's that you haven't received a gift from, I would wait a little bit...you don't know if maybe they will send something soon (I wouldn't wait too long, but, you don't want to make them feel awkward - possibly more awkward than they already do...)
As for the bounced checks, I had a similar situation...except that I was given one check, it bounced, given a second, deposited it, sent a thank you, and THEN it bounced!!!
People are very weird, I don't even like giving a check to people. Most times I give cash, or write a check to cash, this way people don't have to wait long. The fact that someone would give u a second check only bounce it again, its outrageous.
pa56
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Re: wedding gift awkwardness
We had several no-gifters. For those out of town no-gifters, I wrote a thank you card bascally saying thanks for making the trip for our wedding.... considering they paid for a hotel and airfare to come to our wedding, I wasn't as hurt. But for those local people who came without a gift, I didn't send any type of thank you.
KRISTIND
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Re: wedding gift awkwardness
supposedly there is a one year rule....
jillyb97
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Re: wedding gift awkwardness
Posted by MnM182008
Posted by jillyb97
For the one's that you haven't received a gift from, I would wait a little bit...you don't know if maybe they will send something soon (I wouldn't wait too long, but, you don't want to make them feel awkward - possibly more awkward than they already do...)
As for the bounced checks, I had a similar situation...except that I was given one check, it bounced, given a second, deposited it, sent a thank you, and THEN it bounced!!!
People are very weird, I don't even like giving a check to people. Most times I give cash, or write a check to cash, this way people don't have to wait long. The fact that someone would give u a second check only bounce it again, its outrageous.
Yup, I was kinda shocked!!! But when it comes down to it, there's nothing you can do...I would just like to get my bounced check fees!!
Novia09
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Re: wedding gift awkwardness
I think that's a great idea!! Lemme get my notebook.. Yes, I have a LIW note notebook..lol
AdriandSteve
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Re: wedding gift awkwardness
wow.. it does shock me that people who do those things.
My friend got married last year and many on his side gave cards with a prayer in it and that is all.
def a rough situation
JenBill61210
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Re: wedding gift awkwardness
that is just soooo rude
kimmaymb20
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Re: wedding gift awkwardness
Why are people so rude. I personally give cash so I know they are getting the money up front. I would def call about the bounced checks those fees add up.
