Wedding Gifts

I base my gift on how well I know the person, not where the wedding took place. I know someone who spent over $150k on their wedding and everyone gave the same amount of money as they would if they had spent $15k on a wedding.

If its family I usually give a little bit more than the 'norm'

I think general etiquette is to 'pay for your plate.' So the idea is to try to estimate how much the couple is paying for the wedding.

Usually I think an average of $100-150 per person is acceptable and then depending on how close you are with the person, maybe a little more.

When my best friend got married, she paid I think around $130 per plate. FH and I went above and beyond for her wedding b/c I was in her BP and she's like a sister to me. We gave them $500. We're going to a wedding this summer for another set of close friends (but not AS close) and will probably give them close to $300.

Where a couple chooses to have their wedding should NOT dictate what the gift should be, although there are some people who think otherwise. A gift is just that - a gift. You give what you can afford based on your relationship with the couple. Some people can afford and therefore choose to give more, but don't feel as though you need to match anyone's amount.

If you're looking for an 'average' - most people gave $100- $150/pp at our wedding.

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Posted by JACK808

Where a couple chooses to have their wedding should NOT dictate what the gift should be, although there are some people who think otherwise. A gift is just that - a gift. You give what you can afford based on your relationship with the couple. Some people can afford and therefore choose to give more, but don't feel as though you need to match anyone's amount.

If you're looking for an 'average' - most people gave $100- $150/pp at our wedding.

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I agree. Just because a couple decide to have a $200k wedding, doesn't mean I need to help them pay for it. If my best friend had her wedding in a bar for $10k, I would still give her a nice gift because of my relationship with her.

Most people gave us between $75-$100 per person, although there were people also gave us much more.

what i give is 100 (per guest if its someone we're not super close with and 300 (per guestif its someone like family or really close friends. I dont know if thats standard.

I feel the norm is anywhere between $100-$200 per person depending on your relationship with them. Usually standard for me from the weddings Ive been to I always give or FH always gives about $150 PP

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Posted by 2009Bride2Be

I feel the norm is anywhere between $100-$200 per person depending on your relationship with them. Usually standard for me from the weddings Ive been to I always give or FH always gives about $150 PP.

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ita.
If i know the person really well and am really close with them i normally do something or give something extra for the shower

You should at least cover your plate and if you can give a little extra then do so.

ETA: I agree with what people are saying. If you are having a 200K wedding then thats your problem. We do $300 from the both of us unless one of us is in the wedding we will give more (well if we can).

I base my wedding gift on how well I/we know the person and how much I/we can afford at the time.

I can't give you an average gift because our was all over the place including actual gifts.

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Posted by NYMETBRIDE

I feel that you should first and four-most base it on the relationship, I would NEVER give less because the place the couple picked was cheaper then some place else. HOWEVER, if the place was more expensive, I would take that into consideration and try to give a little more. I know its their choice to have a bigger more expensive wedding, but its very much so the tradition in an Italian family. You see the little old ladies with their checkbooks under the table, mostly because they dont want to look bad not giving enough...Does that make sense?

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Totally makes sense. My FH is Italian and comes from an old school Italian family-my FFIL was telling us a story once about how at his wedding the guests would go into the bathroom after dinner was served to write out the checks.,.. depending on how nice the place was and how good the food was to make sure they covered their plates. I thought it was funny..

I generally agree, I think that it depends on your relationship, i would not give less because its a 'less expensive' place but I woudl consdier giving more if the couple went all out with their wedding.. if i could.

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Posted by deeva007

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Posted by NYMETBRIDE

I feel that you should first and four-most base it on the relationship, I would NEVER give less because the place the couple picked was cheaper then some place else. HOWEVER, if the place was more expensive, I would take that into consideration and try to give a little more. I know its their choice to have a bigger more expensive wedding, but its very much so the tradition in an Italian family. You see the little old ladies with their checkbooks under the table, mostly because they dont want to look bad not giving enough...Does that make sense?

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Totally makes sense. My FH is Italian and comes from an old school Italian family-my FFIL was telling us a story once about how at his wedding the guests would go into the bathroom after dinner was served to write out the checks.,.. depending on how nice the place was and how good the food was to make sure they covered their plates. I thought it was funny..

I generally agree, I think that it depends on your relationship, i would not give less because its a 'less expensive' place but I woudl consdier giving more if the couple went all out with their wedding.. if i could.

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LOL I have actually gotten mad at my mom and grandma for writing checks in the bathroom!!! Its freakin embarrassing!!