wedding gifts when replying 'no'

FH and I just got the invite to my college roommate from junior year's wedding invite for 4/17. Normally, that's a no brainer YES, but with my own wedding coming up and the fact that this wedding is up in Rochester/Fairport on a Friday night, I'm going to have to reply NO. I also just got the shower invite 30 minutes ago, and the shower is on 3/15 in BUFFALO! Yeah, having no luck whatsoever in being able to get up there.

So. . .I'm planning on sending a registry gift (we can't afford anything more than that right now). When and where should I have it shipped to my friend--to her mom's house for the shower, or to her directly at any point between now and April 17th?

I would RSVP No to both ASAP and send the gift to her registered delivery address.

I would send the gift now or maybe Mid March, I mean you aren't going to the wedding, no need to wait, right? ( plus if you wait too long all the reasonably priced items might be gone!)

if you really are feeling bad about missing both. Buy a nice pretty blank card and send her a hand written note with encouragement, congratulations and your personal regrets. I would appreciate this and its shows that you wish you could be there but cant

If you're sending a shower gift, send it shortly after March 15th and indicate on the card something like 'sorry you missed the shower' so she knows it's for the shower.

If you're sending a wedding gift, then I would send it anytime since there's no surprise to ruin.

I already pretty much told her that it was probably going to be a NO before I got the invite because FH doesn't have the same week off in April as I do (he's off the week before the wedding, I'm off the week of her wedding) AND my sister is due to have her first child on April 26th. . .but the little baby girl could very easily come earlier, so I didn't want to miss that (obviously). I'm going to take your advice with the handwritten card. . .AND I'm going to get a shower gift out to her this week. Her registry isn't nearly as full as I think it should be, so I need to send something NOW.

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Posted by mlcvln129

I already pretty much told her that it was probably going to be a NO before I got the invite because FH doesn't have the same week off in April as I do (he's off the week before the wedding, I'm off the week of her wedding) AND my sister is due to have her first child on April 26th. . .but the little baby girl could very easily come earlier, so I didn't want to miss that (obviously). I'm going to take your advice with the handwritten card. . .AND I'm going to get a shower gift out to her this week. Her registry isn't nearly as full as I think it should be, so I need to send something NOW.

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sounds great ....all the good stuff goes fast lol