wedding list

i've been thinking a lot about our weding list and i'm thinking i need to cut people out. for example, friends of the family that we haven't seen in over a year - and the we most likely will not see again. as of right now we are at about 170 - i'm thinking we should cut to 150. i don't want a lot of people just for the sake of having a big wedding. thoughts or feedback?

tia
sarah

the way we narrowed our list down,

If i bumped into this person on the street or in a store, would they know I was related to them??

If I haven't seen them in a year & are not close with them, why do they need to be a part of my day???

Why should I spend $100pp for this person to be there when they haven't contributed to my life for the past year or so....


That is the only way, otherwise the lists are crazy!!

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Posted by smm2675

my rule of thumb is this: if i've never met you before, i will NOT meet you for the first time on my wedding day. and by this i mean, friends of fh's family. please that list alone is like 50 people.

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exactly!!! Trust me, if they haven't met you or seen you in a year, they won't even know you got married!

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Posted by kissy27

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Posted by smm2675

my rule of thumb is this: if i've never met you before, i will NOT meet you for the first time on my wedding day. and by this i mean, friends of fh's family. please that list alone is like 50 people.

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exactly!!! Trust me, if they haven't met you or seen you in a year, they won't even know you got married!

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FINALLY! WOMEN OF REASON!!!

Can you guys please come over and tell FH and his mother that we do not have to invite EVERYONE?!?!?!

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Posted by kissy27

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Posted by smm2675

my rule of thumb is this: if i've never met you before, i will NOT meet you for the first time on my wedding day. and by this i mean, friends of fh's family. please that list alone is like 50 people.

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exactly!!! Trust me, if they haven't met you or seen you in a year, they won't even know you got married!

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absolutely!

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Posted by Goldi1021

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Posted by kissy27

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Posted by smm2675

my rule of thumb is this: if i've never met you before, i will NOT meet you for the first time on my wedding day. and by this i mean, friends of fh's family. please that list alone is like 50 people.

---

exactly!!! Trust me, if they haven't met you or seen you in a year, they won't even know you got married!

---

FINALLY! WOMEN OF REASON!!!

Can you guys please come over and tell FH and his mother that we do not have to invite EVERYONE?!?!?!

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i'm on my way....my fmil is the same way. her reasoning is 'we have to, theres no way around it.' umm, yes there is. you are not paying for the hall so you don't get a say in who gets invited. my hall holds over 200 people, if it was up to her, it would be filled to capacity. i already told fh that we have to cut the list and he agrees. just tell it to her straight, hopefully she'll get the point

Thank god FH and FIL's are not giving me a problem with this...they have the largest extended family I have ever seen...they just keep going...if we invited them all - we'd have over 400 people at our wedding

I also told my mom that I will not invite friends of the family just because you went to their childrens weddings...if you have not kept in touch with them in the last year...they're not on the list...no excuses...my mom understands esp since we're paying for it so she would never expect me to invite anyone that I don't think should be...

FH was the one that was gettng carried away with the invite list (this was of course before we booked the hall and got a price)...my how fast he suddenly didn't know all those people

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Posted by smm2675


i'm on my way....my fmil is the same way. her reasoning is 'we have to, theres no way around it.' umm, yes there is. you are not paying for the hall so you don't get a say in who gets invited. my hall holds over 200 people, if it was up to her, it would be filled to capacity. i already told fh that we have to cut the list and he agrees. just tell it to her straight, hopefully she'll get the point

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FIL's list is bigger than mine. His family is bigger than mine. HIS guest list is bigger than mine. So basically his side will have more people regardless. But there will have to be some sort of cut off. And to be honest, what my family decides will be law. If he wants more, they will just have to pay.

By the way, will cheese and crackers be good?

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Posted by Goldi1021

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Posted by smm2675


i'm on my way....my fmil is the same way. her reasoning is 'we have to, theres no way around it.' umm, yes there is. you are not paying for the hall so you don't get a say in who gets invited. my hall holds over 200 people, if it was up to her, it would be filled to capacity. i already told fh that we have to cut the list and he agrees. just tell it to her straight, hopefully she'll get the point

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FIL's list is bigger than mine. His family is bigger than mine. HIS guest list is bigger than mine. So basically his side will have more people regardless. But there will have to be some sort of cut off. And to be honest, what my family decides will be law. If he wants more, they will just have to pay.

By the way, will cheese and crackers be good?

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cheese and crakers is just what i was thinking. nothing too exotic either - regular american and ritz yummy!

in all seriousness, i feel the same way. fh family is bigger then mine and that is just a fact. there are people that we have to invite, but i'm thinking of cutting non-essential people. and since we are paying, i know we have total control over that. i can't have my fmil invite every tom, **** and harry that she meets. b/c she will given the opportunity.

Well I am giving them the engagment invite test (some family members who we haven't spoken to) if they do NOT even bother to respond they are OFF the list automatically.

My mother hasn't spoken to and Aunt and Uncle of mine and some of my cousins who are alot older than me...my mom wrote in our Christmas Card and they didn't even respond. So if they don't bother to respond to the engagment party invite...BUH BYYYYYYYYY

FH has a ton of random relatives on his list that I have never met or heard of (and most of them live on LI so there is no real excuse like distance). I told him I would only consider inviting the ones who knew what my name is (if asked 'what is the name of Matt's fiance/girlfriend?'). I thought this was pretty fair since we have been together for 3 years and have known each other for 8!

haha - sadly I think alot of them would have no idea (or even know that we are engaged or even know that he is dating anyone)!

RIDICULOUS!

FH's list is so small, is it is going to be so lopsided at the wedding!
My mom keeps telling me about people I don't know, but my parents are paying for the hall, so what can I say really? I don't really understand why peolple I don't know have to be there, but she tells me because they will be offended otherwise.
There is some sort of saying about there are people you only see at weddings and funerals.

I am having the same problem. My parents are paying for the wedding, but they are going overboard. My FH's family will not be nearly as large. I cant really say anything since we are not paying, but it will be approx 200 not including my younger cousins....and vendors....at the inn at east wind on a sat night.... it's absurb.
what do I do???? if anything

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Posted by smm2675

i've been thinking a lot about our weding list and i'm thinking i need to cut people out. for example, friends of the family that we haven't seen in over a year - and the we most likely will not see again. as of right now we are at about 170 - i'm thinking we should cut to 150. i don't want a lot of people just for the sake of having a big wedding. thoughts or feedback?

tia
sarah

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I definitely agree with you- no point in inviting people just for the sake of a big wedding and why have people there that you don't know. I'm lucky that most of my parent's friends I know and I told them they had to limit the list of people I don't know to 2 tables. Haven't got their list yet so we'll see what happens!