Wedding payment

jenniferd Posted: Mar 05, 2008 12:10 AM

Wedding payment

Just want different opinions on how ppl r paying for their wedding. What if FH family has WAYYYYYYY more ppl than u do? Like double the amt! Is it unreasonable for his fam to make up the diff? or am I being a giant witch?

PegaLega Posted: Mar 05, 2008 12:15 AM

Re: Wedding payment

our families split the bill, and our numbers were abotu 50/50

If your families are paying I dont really see anything wrong with the side inviting more people to pay for their extended amount of guests.

Nechama1 Posted: Mar 05, 2008 12:15 AM

Re: Wedding payment

I'm all for splitting the photography, flowers, DJ down the middle and then each side paying per head...

FutureMrsLehmann Posted: Mar 05, 2008 12:16 AM

Re: Wedding payment

it's really something that you'll have to discuss with FH and his family. have they mentioned contributing to the wedding at all? have you voiced your concerns that the # of invites is too much for you to pay on your own? these are things better said sooner rather than later! hopefully they'll offer to help with your payments because they want to invite so many... i don't think it's unreasonable for them to pay for some of the wedding, but then again it's not really up to anybody but them!

jenniferd Posted: Mar 05, 2008 12:21 AM

Re: Wedding payment

We discussed it last night and he said his fam was going to help. I mean I have 82 ppl he has 168 and counting! In his culture it is considered an insult not to get invited to a wedding in the family, but it's also ppl that he doesn't speak to on a regular basis, maybe even ever! It's so stressful! He's so calm about it!

mRm2008 Posted: Mar 05, 2008 06:09 AM

Re: Wedding payment

We asked our families to make their lists of the closest family/friends of theirs to invite. We settled on a resonable number on our guest list and sent a copy to each set of parents. We told them that if they wanted the 'second cousin twice removed' to be on the list they would have to pay for them. It acutally worked out well.
HTH

kabo0831 Posted: Mar 05, 2008 08:40 AM

Re: Wedding payment

well we are saving x amount of dollars a mth and when the dat comes closer that is when we will pay it off so our money collect interest.

Soon2bMrsRP Posted: Mar 05, 2008 08:44 AM

Re: Wedding payment

Posted by Nechama1

I'm all for splitting the photography, flowers, DJ down the middle and then each side paying per head...

This is the most practical approach - each side paying for their people and splitting vendors.

jtgarsik Posted: Mar 05, 2008 08:52 AM

Re: Wedding payment

my friend's parents paid for her ENTIRE wedding....they gave the groom a certain amount of people they could invite(i've actually seen this done a lot)...anything over then they told the grooms parents they'd have to cover.

jtgarsik Posted: Mar 05, 2008 08:53 AM

Re: Wedding payment

Posted by Nechama1

I'm all for splitting the photography, flowers, DJ down the middle and then each side paying per head...

God bless you if u have in-laws willing to do this!!!! lol. we paid for the entire wedding ourselves, and my mom (who's a single mom & broke) helped where she could..my MIL didn't offer a penny!

squeekietoy Posted: Mar 05, 2008 09:20 AM

Re: Wedding payment

My FH's family is inviting 75% of the guests and paying for all of them. So, we're very lucky.

kimiequa Posted: Mar 05, 2008 09:25 AM

Re: Wedding payment

my parents are paying for the wedding, and they're upset that FH's parents have invited so many friends. they don't have a big family, and their friends are their fam. FH hasn't discussed money with his parents yet, but we don't expect them to be able to help.... hopefully the RD.

jessica08bride Posted: Mar 05, 2008 09:33 AM

Re: Wedding payment

we have 402 people on our guestlist. most of it is mine (FH has about 100). we are paying for the entire thing ourselves. if other people end up helping you pay, i think its gets complicated which is why id rather just pay for it ourselves.

HamptonPrincess Posted: Mar 05, 2008 09:33 AM

Re: Wedding payment

We paid for the ENTIRE wedding ourselves and my mother and father helped us as much as they could afford to. My MIL did not offer anything- and kept telling us how she wanted everything which obviously did not happen!!!

I did show the guest list to both of our families which included who we wanted to invite and told our parents if they wanted to add anyone, they would have to pay the difference.

We were happy to pay for everything because we had exactly the wedding we dreamed of.

Good Luck!

bluekat16 Posted: Mar 05, 2008 09:45 AM

Re: Wedding payment

We're paying for the entire thing ourselves for the most part. my parents said that they will pay for my dress (alterations and accessories as well), the limos and the church. FH's mom is a widow and doesn't have much so we're not expecting anything from her $$ wise but she is helping we make my petal cones and card box because she is artistically inclined.

The best thing for you to do is as someone suggested before...split the vendors and have ach side pay for their head count.

Good luck!

CJandJen Posted: Mar 05, 2008 09:53 AM

Re: Wedding payment

My parents are paying for all the wedding costs. FH's parents don't believe in throwing a 'big' wedding, and think we should be using the money for other expenses, such as buying a house. But my mom insisted on having the wedding, so they're paying for it. FH's mom did say that if we went over the amount of people we wanted she would pay for the extra people, since she is inviting a bit more than FH and I had previously discussed.

MayWeddingGrl Posted: Mar 05, 2008 11:30 AM

Re: Wedding payment

It's hard to start counting pennys when it comes down to the wedding, you don't want to offend your future in-laws.

FH and I are paying for the wedding ourselves. Nothing in life can be 50/50. Unfortunately for FH, he'll be paying more, even though I have more guests than he does.