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Wedding Present IOU

leeserd Posted:

Wedding Present IOU

I have heard that due the state of the economy and many people being out of work, that couples are receiving cards which basically state that the guest is experiencing financial hardship and is therefore unable to give a gift at the time of the wedding but that he/she/they plan to send a gift as soon as their economic situation improves.

Now etiquette dictates that guests may send a wedding gift up to a year after the wedding, so that is fine, but my question is if I receive one of these 'wedding gift IOU's' is it polite for me to send a card thanking the guest for attending my wedding and telling him not to worry about a gift or do I just send a thank you note thanking him for attending the wedding and wait to receive my gift?

I had never heard of or considered this but I only assume that the economy will be worse by the time that my wedding arrives in September so I want to be prepared.

Married girls, have you had this happen? What did you do?
alli3131 Posted:

Re: Wedding Present IOU

This didnt happen to me but I would def. send a thank you card. The thank you should be for attending the wedding.

little34 Posted:

Re: Wedding Present IOU

I would send two thank yous...one for attending the wedding and then another one when you get your gift

Amberrenee6705 Posted:

Re: Wedding Present IOU

I would send a card back thanking them for coming to the wedding.

Tracey1979 Posted:

Re: Wedding Present IOU


Posted by little34

I would send two thank yous...one for attending the wedding and then another one when you get your gift



Agreed - exactly what I would do.
MLAngelo Posted:

Re: Wedding Present IOU

WOW, thats really odd, i never heard of that. Its so sad we all have to get married in this horrible economy.

allegracristina Posted:

Re: Wedding Present IOU


Posted by little34

I would send two thank yous...one for attending the wedding and then another one when you get your gift



That's exactly what I would do.
MrsJuneB2B Posted:

Re: Wedding Present IOU

hmm... i think i'd do that. i'd just send a thank you for coming type card. whether they send it or not...i wouldn't address it at all. :o)

valthom426 Posted:

Re: Wedding Present IOU

Happened to me a few times. I sent a written card just saying thanks for attending and being with us...blah blah blah. I figured, if they mean it, they have a year to send it. If not, whatever.

MrsCM Posted:

Re: Wedding Present IOU

I think I would wait simply because the same etiquette also states that you have a year to send thank yous so why not just send it after receiving the gift imo

Juhgail Posted:

Re: Wedding Present IOU


Posted by MrsJuneB2B

hmm... i think i'd do that. i'd just send a thank you for coming type card. whether they send it or not...i wouldn't address it at all. :o)



ITA. Thats exactly what I would do.
grkbarbie Posted:

Re: Wedding Present IOU

i think its BAWWWWWLS if u attend ANY function without writting a check. If you cant afford to be a guest, dont come.

And i love the stiffers that go buy a brand new dress/suit/shoes get hair done and nails.. yet go empty handed. its tacky , and a slap in the face to the bride/groom.

of course, theres always excused cases.. but lets be real,95% of the time , the stiffers are just scumbags.

julesrbf Posted:

Re: Wedding Present IOU


Posted by little34

I would send two thank yous...one for attending the wedding and then another one when you get your gift



This is what I would do. I know that I would feel awful if a good friend/family member was getting married and I felt as if I *shouldn't* go because I couldn't afford a nice gift. I might try to make something as well because I would feel terrible showing up empty handed ... but even if I couldn't, I would still feel happy to be thanked for coming out to celebrate someone's union.

Personally, I think I would understand if someone couldn't afford to give a gift. An IOU is nice, but I'm not getting married for the gifts, so if it never came to fruition, I think I'd be OK with that.
rocketsummer17 Posted:

Re: Wedding Present IOU


Posted by grkbarbie

i think its BAWWWWWLS if u attend ANY function without writting a check. If you cant afford to be a guest, dont come.

And i love the stiffers that go buy a brand new dress/suit/shoes get hair done and nails.. yet go empty handed. its tacky , and a slap in the face to the bride/groom.

of course, theres always excused cases.. but lets be real,95% of the time , the stiffers are just scumbags.



agreed
MrsCastanedain09 Posted:

Re: Wedding Present IOU


Posted by julesrbf


Posted by little34

I would send two thank yous...one for attending the wedding and then another one when you get your gift



This is what I would do. I know that I would feel awful if a good friend/family member was getting married and I felt as if I *shouldn't* go because I couldn't afford a nice gift. I might try to make something as well because I would feel terrible showing up empty handed ... but even if I couldn't, I would still feel happy to be thanked for coming out to celebrate someone's union.

Personally, I think I would understand if someone couldn't afford to give a gift. An IOU is nice, but I'm not getting married for the gifts, so if it never came to fruition, I think I'd be OK with that.



I agree with this 100%.

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