Wedding Presents

I had the WEIRDEST conversation with my girlfriend the other day.

I am trying to figure out where to have our wedding still... RH or a tent in the yard of the home where I grew up.

Either way - it is going to cost me... the tent actually being a slightly MORE expensive option.

My gf tells me that I should have the wedding in a hall because I will get 'better gifls'.

Now... I honestly don't care about gifts. It is nice to get them, but I am not having a wedding for the presents. BUT, I am fascinated by the idea that people will determine the type and size of gift they will give based on where the wedding is.

Apparently I am naive. Basically she told me that a wedding at OHEKA would make her give more dollars (or respond no if she couldn't afford the gift) - and a wedding at home would compel her to give less. The thought being she wants to at least cover the cost of her 'plate'. When I told her that the cost of a home wedding would be actually more for me monetarily, she pretty much told me that it is all about perception not reality.

I thought she was nuts, but I have spoken to a few other people who basically have the same rule of thumb for gift giving.

Have any of you ever heard of such a thing?

i know i am going to get crucified for this so please be gentle

i always cover my plate. . . so i would give more for a more expensive place.

unless it is like close family then i give way more. . .

but for friends, coworkers etc i figure the approx. cost and cover it - some people feel liek it is 'paying for your own dinner' yada yada thats not what a wedding is about . . . but to me it is considerate.

and i wouldnt attend a wedding where i couldnt afford to do that. . .

I have never heard of that before, i come from a very big family and no matter were you held your wedding the gifts were the same. It's more what people can afford to give.

---

Posted by ant n tilde

i know i am going to get crucified for this so please be gentle

i always cover my plate. . . so i would give more for a more expensive place.

unless it is like close family then i give way more. . .

but for friends, coworkers etc i figure the approx. cost and cover it - some people feel liek it is 'paying for your own dinner' yada yada thats not what a wedding is about . . . but to me it is considerate.

and i wouldnt attend a wedding where i couldnt afford to do that. . .

---

You are NOT going to get crucified for that! It is your opinion! And you know what? I am beginning to see that it is a pretty normal one! :)

i'll give the same no matter where its being held...whatever i can afford

JMO.....but I generally give more based on where you have it. I would give more for an evening wedding over an afternoon wedding (except if I know the afternoon place is a more expensive RH). Personally, I have had three weddings in the past month. The one that has past was an afternoon wedding, but at a very pricey place. I was also in this wedding. For that one, I gave what I could afford. I'm not sure that I was able to cover mine and FH's plate, but it was a good amount. As for the two I have next week....one is on a thursday. I know a wedding is a wedding, but I will probably be giving less to this bride then I did to the last. The wedding I have on Saturday, is upstate in Rochester. I will definitely be giving less for this wedding as it is 1) not open bar (so you're going to be spending more there too), 2) the whole cost of the wedding (soup to nuts) is about a third of the cost of my RH alone....at this point, I have to save as much money as possible for my own wedding and will probably give less than either of the two other weddings. The only thing that is ok with that is that the average gift for an 'upstate' wedding is usually a decent amount less than an LI wedding....

Probably going to get flack for this post...but JMO

i would not give more, but that is just me. i give what i can afford. i usually have a set amount in my head what i give, depending on how close i am to the couple. i dont care if they are getting married at buckingham palace, i will not give them more of a gift. it isnt my responsibility to cover my plate at an expensive place. after all the couple was the one who chose to have it at such a $$$ place. most of my family follows this as well.

i can understand the logic behind thinking that, though.

---

Posted by rojerono

---

Posted by ant n tilde

i know i am going to get crucified for this so please be gentle

i always cover my plate. . . so i would give more for a more expensive place.

unless it is like close family then i give way more. . .

but for friends, coworkers etc i figure the approx. cost and cover it - some people feel liek it is 'paying for your own dinner' yada yada thats not what a wedding is about . . . but to me it is considerate.

and i wouldnt attend a wedding where i couldnt afford to do that. . .

---

You are NOT going to get crucified for that! It is your opinion! And you know what? I am beginning to see that it is a pretty normal one! :)

---

THANKS for having my back!

---

Posted by ant n tilde

i know i am going to get crucified for this so please be gentle

i always cover my plate. . . so i would give more for a more expensive place.

unless it is like close family then i give way more. . .

but for friends, coworkers etc i figure the approx. cost and cover it - some people feel liek it is 'paying for your own dinner' yada yada thats not what a wedding is about . . . but to me it is considerate.

and i wouldnt attend a wedding where i couldnt afford to do that. . .

---

ditto

---

Posted by kam0813

i'll give the same no matter where its being held...whatever i can afford

---

same here...i've been to weddings all over the east coast..my gift didn't change because it was in an area that cost less to live, it was in a mansion or a small hall....that's ridiculous...the idea alone makes someone seem materialistic [to give based on where the event is].