wedding tips from a just married bride........
I always enjoyed when brides would share their tips after they were married so I'm passing along some of my advice. My day was absolutely perfect, but there is definitely a little voice that pops into your head afterwards that says, If I had the day to do over again, I would do this or that.
1. Have as few bridesmaids as possible. I had 9 and if I could go back, I would have only had 4. I fell prey to not wanting to hurt anyone’s feelings so I asked all four of my teenage cousins. However, having fewer BM’s will save you money on the flowers (because everyone’s BK really adds up) and on the BM gifts. Plus, it will be less stressful the day of. The less people you have to worry about getting hair and makeup done, the less chance there is that you will start to run behind schedule. Also, it’s a lot quicker to take all the pictures you need to take when you have less people to be concerned with. Most importantly, your pictures will turn out better with less people because there is less of a chance that someone in the picture will blink, squint, have hair blowing in their face, looking in the wrong direction, ect. When you first get engaged you’re so excited and you just want everyone to be a part of your day. However, take some time to choose who you want to be standing up there with you. Make sure that they are people who you think will be able to be there for you to help with your planning. My cousins were too young to really be there for me in anyway and they were all just concerned about who got to drink what at the reception. Teenagers!!! Plus, because they were all so young, I ended up paying for a lot of things for them, like hair, makeup, the dress…….. At the time, you don’t care, but it is one thing I regret. I wish I were more selective. I was so concerned about my pictures being timeless that I chose mostly family for BM’s because in 20 years, they’ll still be my family. However, I’m much closer with some of my friends than I am with my cousins so it was stupid on my part to try and include so many family members.
2. Remind your bridal party to hold their BK’s low so that everyone can see their dress. I forgot to tell my BM’s this and everyone ended up clutching their BK so close to their chest.
3.Try to hold on to your own lipstick all day for touchups. Try hiding it in your BK or keep it hidden on the dias somewhere. I gave mine to my MOH and you don’t stay glued to your MOH all night. Every time I wanted to touch up my lips, I could never find her!!
4. Wear perfume so that every time you smell it for the rest of your life, it reminds you of your big day. I brought my perfume with me so I could spray it on right after I got dressed. However, I was so rushed after my hair was done that I forgot and never got to spray it on. Oh well, I tried.
5.When negotiating the contract for your wedding, make sure you clarify whether vendors and children count towards the guaranteed minimum.
6.Definitely spend some time working on a “must take picture list.” My husband and I saw each other before the ceremony to get pictures out of the way. It sounds easy but the day of you have all of these family members, some of whom haven’t seen each other for awhile so they would rather talk then listen to you or the photographer, and some of whom are old and hard of hearing. Plus, they’re starting to drink, so it can be very hard to get their attention to get them to stand where you want and to do what you want. Try to have someone take control who is assertive that can help you get their attention. Plus, give yourself enough time. I definitely didn’t get to take all the pictures I wanted because I didn’t expect it to take so long. Everyone told me I should have given myself at least 2 hours but I kept thinking how long could it take to take pics of everyone? Believe me, it takes 5-10 minutes just to get everyone to pay and attention and to stand in the right spot, let alone all of the different permutations of people that have to get done. Once again, having fewer BM’s would have helped……….
7.If your parents are divorced, remind the photographer as soon as he gets there. Don’t expect her/him to remember that just because you previously told them. I told my photographer a day or two before the wedding that my parents are divorced and expected him to remember. However, during pictures, he kept telling my mother and father to get closer and to “Cuddle up next to your honey.” I almost screamed at him!! Thank goodness my parents get along and they laughed about it.
8. If you or the groom has a deceased parent, remind the maitre d and dj that day. Don’t let them stick their foot in their mouth when it comes time to do the mother/ son dance if the groom’s mother has passed away. I reminded the maitre d right before I danced with my father that the groom’s mother is not with us and he thanked me up and down for reminding him. They have enough to do; they can’t be expected to remember everything.
9. If you are going to have a shuttle bus available to take guests to and from the hotel, book it before you send out your invite so that you can write it somewhere and include it with your invitation. We waited too long to book the shuttle and we figured we would get it out through emails and word of mouth since we had already mailed out the invites. People got confused and couldn’t remember if there was one or not or what time it was picking people up, no matter how many times I told them. People like to see things in writing and including the information on the hotel card would have been a hell of a lot easier.
10. If you have a choice between digital and film, I would go with digital. I saw some digital albums and thought they looked too modern and because I wanted traditional photos, I went with film. In hindsight, I think that was a mistake because I never took into consideration that the photographer has to load and reload his camera all the time with film. He missed some great shots because he was busy loading his camera. That would never have happened with digital.
11. Lastly, try to steal a few private moments with your husband because those are the special pockets of time you’ll remember. That is so much more important than making small talk with distant family members. It is, after all, a day about the two of you and you can't let yourself get overwhelmed with all of the guests you need to see. Let people come to you versus taking time out to go to each table. We visited the tables of our close family members and our older guests and took pictures with them. However, we didn't bother going to our friends table because for the most part, they weren't even at the tables. They were either at the bar or on the dance floor. Oh yeah, and dance!!! When the bride is on the dance floor, it makes your guests like a magnet to the dance floor and it keeps it packed all night. Plus, it gives you the opportunity to hang out with guests who were at tables that you didn't get to. Good luck!!!!
1. Have as few bridesmaids as possible. I had 9 and if I could go back, I would have only had 4. I fell prey to not wanting to hurt anyone’s feelings so I asked all four of my teenage cousins. However, having fewer BM’s will save you money on the flowers (because everyone’s BK really adds up) and on the BM gifts. Plus, it will be less stressful the day of. The less people you have to worry about getting hair and makeup done, the less chance there is that you will start to run behind schedule. Also, it’s a lot quicker to take all the pictures you need to take when you have less people to be concerned with. Most importantly, your pictures will turn out better with less people because there is less of a chance that someone in the picture will blink, squint, have hair blowing in their face, looking in the wrong direction, ect. When you first get engaged you’re so excited and you just want everyone to be a part of your day. However, take some time to choose who you want to be standing up there with you. Make sure that they are people who you think will be able to be there for you to help with your planning. My cousins were too young to really be there for me in anyway and they were all just concerned about who got to drink what at the reception. Teenagers!!! Plus, because they were all so young, I ended up paying for a lot of things for them, like hair, makeup, the dress…….. At the time, you don’t care, but it is one thing I regret. I wish I were more selective. I was so concerned about my pictures being timeless that I chose mostly family for BM’s because in 20 years, they’ll still be my family. However, I’m much closer with some of my friends than I am with my cousins so it was stupid on my part to try and include so many family members.
2. Remind your bridal party to hold their BK’s low so that everyone can see their dress. I forgot to tell my BM’s this and everyone ended up clutching their BK so close to their chest.
3.Try to hold on to your own lipstick all day for touchups. Try hiding it in your BK or keep it hidden on the dias somewhere. I gave mine to my MOH and you don’t stay glued to your MOH all night. Every time I wanted to touch up my lips, I could never find her!!
4. Wear perfume so that every time you smell it for the rest of your life, it reminds you of your big day. I brought my perfume with me so I could spray it on right after I got dressed. However, I was so rushed after my hair was done that I forgot and never got to spray it on. Oh well, I tried.
5.When negotiating the contract for your wedding, make sure you clarify whether vendors and children count towards the guaranteed minimum.
6.Definitely spend some time working on a “must take picture list.” My husband and I saw each other before the ceremony to get pictures out of the way. It sounds easy but the day of you have all of these family members, some of whom haven’t seen each other for awhile so they would rather talk then listen to you or the photographer, and some of whom are old and hard of hearing. Plus, they’re starting to drink, so it can be very hard to get their attention to get them to stand where you want and to do what you want. Try to have someone take control who is assertive that can help you get their attention. Plus, give yourself enough time. I definitely didn’t get to take all the pictures I wanted because I didn’t expect it to take so long. Everyone told me I should have given myself at least 2 hours but I kept thinking how long could it take to take pics of everyone? Believe me, it takes 5-10 minutes just to get everyone to pay and attention and to stand in the right spot, let alone all of the different permutations of people that have to get done. Once again, having fewer BM’s would have helped……….
7.If your parents are divorced, remind the photographer as soon as he gets there. Don’t expect her/him to remember that just because you previously told them. I told my photographer a day or two before the wedding that my parents are divorced and expected him to remember. However, during pictures, he kept telling my mother and father to get closer and to “Cuddle up next to your honey.” I almost screamed at him!! Thank goodness my parents get along and they laughed about it.
8. If you or the groom has a deceased parent, remind the maitre d and dj that day. Don’t let them stick their foot in their mouth when it comes time to do the mother/ son dance if the groom’s mother has passed away. I reminded the maitre d right before I danced with my father that the groom’s mother is not with us and he thanked me up and down for reminding him. They have enough to do; they can’t be expected to remember everything.
9. If you are going to have a shuttle bus available to take guests to and from the hotel, book it before you send out your invite so that you can write it somewhere and include it with your invitation. We waited too long to book the shuttle and we figured we would get it out through emails and word of mouth since we had already mailed out the invites. People got confused and couldn’t remember if there was one or not or what time it was picking people up, no matter how many times I told them. People like to see things in writing and including the information on the hotel card would have been a hell of a lot easier.
10. If you have a choice between digital and film, I would go with digital. I saw some digital albums and thought they looked too modern and because I wanted traditional photos, I went with film. In hindsight, I think that was a mistake because I never took into consideration that the photographer has to load and reload his camera all the time with film. He missed some great shots because he was busy loading his camera. That would never have happened with digital.
11. Lastly, try to steal a few private moments with your husband because those are the special pockets of time you’ll remember. That is so much more important than making small talk with distant family members. It is, after all, a day about the two of you and you can't let yourself get overwhelmed with all of the guests you need to see. Let people come to you versus taking time out to go to each table. We visited the tables of our close family members and our older guests and took pictures with them. However, we didn't bother going to our friends table because for the most part, they weren't even at the tables. They were either at the bar or on the dance floor. Oh yeah, and dance!!! When the bride is on the dance floor, it makes your guests like a magnet to the dance floor and it keeps it packed all night. Plus, it gives you the opportunity to hang out with guests who were at tables that you didn't get to. Good luck!!!!
