Weight Rollercoaster

So....all my life there's never been a single day that i've NOT been aware of my weight. I've struggled with it for years, and dealt with the emotional rollercoaster that my battle with it has taken me on. Over the last few years, it seems things have evened out a bit and there have been moments when my weight has not been an issue...but every now and again, something will happen that takes me back to the very sad and dark place i was in for the better part of my teens and early young adult life. Case in point - Engagement Photo's...I saw them yesterday and was so unhappy with what i saw that I couldn't even bring myself to look at all of them and shortly thereafter, I just went to bed horrified at what i saw. For those of you who've never had a weight issue, what i'm saying may sound a bit extreme or even dramatic. For those of you who've been where i've been, it probably sounds all too familiar. Needless to say, the thought of getting in a white wedding dress and have hundreds of photo's snapped of me makes me feel ill...and i can't seem to shake it. I know everyone has something...and i suppose it would be easy to say just excercise and eat healthy, which i've done and am a strong advocate of. I guess i just hate that i'm always so aware of my weight and that it affects me so much...is it weird to think of my wedding day and almost get sick to my stomach at the thought of photo's.....

Channon, we known each other since we are 11 or 12 years old. I know extactly how you feel. It definity can bring your spirits down but that what Brandon is there for. he has been by your side no matter what size or color you made change to or be. Used that negative feeling and make it positive. Go walking/ join a gym. Take baby steps in eating healthy. Are you still by the airport, I would say want to meet twice a week at the park and jog? I been looking for a jogging partner for awhile now.

Look at the photos as if that not what I want on your wedding day and you change it. Keep your head up :)

Long response - sorry

I know how you feel. And I guess it would be easy for people to say you're being dramatic - just diet and exercise, blah blah blah. I hear it all the time. I've always had a problem with my weight. In my immediate family, the women are tall and thin with long thin legs. Me - total opposite. So my struggle started at 13 when my body started to develop. Big hips, thighs and boobs - WHAT? lol I look back now at the pictures from all the stages of my life and each time i can remember the night the pic was taken clearly and it was always me going through all of my clothes and never being happy with how I looked because I 'Looked too fat'. Always suckin it in for the camera. Now it's just worse because my 30's are being very cruel with my slowed metabolism and a thyroid problem on top of it. So I HATE pictures. I say it all the time - how am I going to pay all kinds of money to have someone snapping pictures of me in my wedding dress when I look this way. It depresses me. So You're not alone AT ALL. And I think there are a lot of ladies on here who share the same feelings as you.

I did one thing since talking to everyone on here - Joined Weight Watchers. I lost almost 10 lbs. Have another 15-20 to go and it isn't easy. Especially with the holidays now. I gained a few weeks, lost it again. I hope that once the holidays are over and all this extra food isn't around, I can get back on track. Since joining WW I feel so much better about myself. I've noticed I have more energy and even though I still HATE pictures of myself, I hate them a little less because I feel like my face is a little less bloated (Due to the 10 lb loss) And That keeps me motivated.

Keep your head up and just know that you are not alone and every little thing you do helps. Eat more fruit - keep apples in ur bag for a snack, park far away in a parking lot so you have to walk a little more... etc. It makes a difference :)

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Posted by PhyllisNJoe

Long response - sorry

I know how you feel. And I guess it would be easy for people to say you're being dramatic - just diet and exercise, blah blah blah. I hear it all the time. I've always had a problem with my weight. In my immediate family, the women are tall and thin with long thin legs. Me - total opposite. So my struggle started at 13 when my body started to develop. Big hips, thighs and boobs - WHAT? lol I look back now at the pictures from all the stages of my life and each time i can remember the night the pic was taken clearly and it was always me going through all of my clothes and never being happy with how I looked because I 'Looked too fat'. Always suckin it in for the camera. Now it's just worse because my 30's are being very cruel with my slowed metabolism and a thyroid problem on top of it. So I HATE pictures. I say it all the time - how am I going to pay all kinds of money to have someone snapping pictures of me in my wedding dress when I look this way. It depresses me. So You're not alone AT ALL. And I think there are a lot of ladies on here who share the same feelings as you.

I did one thing since talking to everyone on here - Joined Weight Watchers. I lost almost 10 lbs. Have another 15-20 to go and it isn't easy. Especially with the holidays now. I gained a few weeks, lost it again. I hope that once the holidays are over and all this extra food isn't around, I can get back on track. Since joining WW I feel so much better about myself. I've noticed I have more energy and even though I still HATE pictures of myself, I hate them a little less because I feel like my face is a little less bloated (Due to the 10 lb loss) And That keeps me motivated.

Keep your head up and just know that you are not alone and every little thing you do helps. Eat more fruit - keep apples in ur bag for a snack, park far away in a parking lot so you have to walk a little more... etc. It makes a difference :)

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Oh girlie......hehehe....I actually did WW about two years back and it was amazing. I dropped 30lbs and felt amazing. The thing is, since then I've been at a new job where i am sitting all the time...it doesnt seem to work as well. I was recently in my friends wedding and got into joggin and running and actually loved it. But with the weather getting colder, i just kinda fell off. See ive never had a problem with excercising. I actually rather enjoy it...and my eating, though I do have an affinity for sweets, is not all that bad either-especially when im focused. I guess i just hate the fact that my weight has always been so much of who i am. I hate that i am always so aware of it, and that something as stupid and trivial as a photograph has the ability to seriously alter my mood. Its rediculous, but it's like i can't help it. Truth be told, i'm so much better (weight wise) than i've ever been. Still though, it's like on the inside im still the same girl....it's just sad...and frustrating......

Ok I hear ya. And it isn't ridiculous. You feel how you feel. Just knowing that you exercise, eat right and that you have accomplished a big weight loss that you have hopefully can help. You're healthy physically - that's great in itself. I hope you find something to help you feel better.

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Posted by Sunshine15

you are singin my song...

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Honestly, I wish this song I was singing on my own. Knowing how i feel, i wouldnt wish this feeling on my worst enemy as they were planning their wedding.....