Weird feeling...

While I am excited about planning this day, it all feels so weird to me. Yes my wedding is going to be a larger wedding than most. I am not all that alright with that, but not completely my control here. And I have come to terms with being the center of attention, I am used to it, I have been on and off the stage forever. But I think the part that gets to me is knowing how many people are going to give us gifts. Yes, its nice, and yes it will help us out, but.... it has never sat well when people splurge on me. I have only recently gotten used to FH doing it, and he has been spoiling me monetarily as well as other ways that I never knew possible since we have been together. It's almost like I feel like I don't deserve all this, all the attention, all the praise, all the spotlight, all the generosity. But I know that on the flip side, I always want to do what I can for those I know who are getting married.

While yes, personally it is a big deal, hey, we are putting in writing that we want to be with nobody but each other and making it legally binding. But in the bigger picture, FH and I have been together for 7 years and its not like its something new or unexpected. I mean, hell, it is a big day for us, and I know everyone is ecstatic for us to be so happy with each other, but maybe eloping wouldn't have been a bad idea for us? Or is it just some random factor making me feel like this? After all, I have planned big birthday parties and other events, but nothing compared to this and while a birthday party is a birthday party, after a while, everyone just hangs out and has a good time.


Anyone else feel like this?

Honestly, no. LOL

I can't wait to be the center of attention and to have everyone's eyes on me, and most of all to have a blast with my friends, family and Husband.