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Weird FH wants a say in EVERYTHING

Becca2010 Posted:

Weird FH wants a say in EVERYTHING

I'm having a little problem with my FH... He wants to have final say over the bridesmaids' dresses. Is this normal?

I told him that he and I can pick a color scheme, but then I bring maybe 2 girls to the shop, pick out a style, send the rest of the BP there and call it a day. He can see a picture if he wants.
Apparently, this is not good enough for him. He wants to be there with me and the 2 BMs to pick colors/styles.

Need Input!!
DonnaPWhite1124 Posted:

Re: Weird FH wants a say in EVERYTHING

hes probably just very excited about the wedding right now. I dont see anything wrong in his enthusiasm.

Maybe he wants to see the colors because hes trying to envision how it would look as a whole.
Soon2bShea Posted:

Re: Weird FH wants a say in EVERYTHING

Interesting. That's a super involved FH you have there! LOL! Can you have a talk with him nicely and explain that the BM dresses is a 'girl thing?'
Becca2010 Posted:

Re: Weird FH wants a say in EVERYTHING

Unfortunately I'm as stubborn as him and I just yelled at him over IM and said, 'Do you want to come with me to pick out my wedding dress too??' Then I signed off. I'm terrible, I know. I just thought that we'd pick a color scheme and I'd take it from there...

I just have to cow down and bring him, but I'll take my sister along and she can curse him out if it's necessary
FutureMrsSoltan Posted:

Re: Weird FH wants a say in EVERYTHING

Maybe he just wants to feel involved. Maybe he has some ideas. FH and I have gone thru some dresses together and picked out a few we both liked.

little j Posted:

Re: Weird FH wants a say in EVERYTHING

maybe there is a style he really doesnt like...show him a magazine and get his feedback there. i dont think he needs to actually GO to the store too. but if he for some reason HATES strapless or pick-ups, then he can tell you that in advance, and you can steer your girls toward something else.

GL!
megan_gallagher Posted:

Re: Weird FH wants a say in EVERYTHING

my FH is the same way- he wants to see the dresses (pictures are ok) before anyone orders them. I found one in a magazine that I fell in love with and he doesn't like it...

Are you picking out the GM's tux's? because if you're not picking out the vests and CB's and SHOES then he has no say in BM dresses!

see me- i'm picking out both and FH can either AGREE and get along or disagree and deal with a very bit chy bride
Rosalind_75 Posted:

Re: Weird FH wants a say in EVERYTHING

my fh is very involved in the palnning.

he has a very big say in the color they will be wearing.
my bms have decided to go with a different style than what they orginally picked.
since he liked the styles they had picked before he is very curious what they pick.

i cant say that i blame fh.
he is paying for this wedding as well as me.
he has a look and vibe he wants.

it is his day too. just because he is a guy means ZERO!!

HTH
emric Posted:

Re: Weird FH wants a say in EVERYTHING

My FH has a say in EVERYTHING too! He wanted to see what I was picking out for them but then left it up to me.
Your FH needs to stay home - let him work on his tuxes!
debzy Posted:

Re: Weird FH wants a say in EVERYTHING

You have a while until your wedding and probably about 8 months until you need to look for BM dresses. Maybe his enthusiam will wear off by then.

For me, FH wanted a say in the color. So we picked that before I went to look at BM dresses with my girls. But FH left the final decision up to me. I'm sure yours will do the same.
mrsdraskin2009 Posted:

Re: Weird FH wants a say in EVERYTHING

My FH has no clue, nor does he care, what the BM dresses look like, just like I don't really care about the tuxes.

SummerBride10 Posted:

Re: Weird FH wants a say in EVERYTHING

Mine is kinda like it..he wants a say in everything, including BM dresses and other stuff i didnt think he would care about. At least hes helping
Lsorrent Posted:

Re: Weird FH wants a say in EVERYTHING

Weird to me, but my FH doesn't really care at all. I wanted to show him the two BM dresses I picked and get his opinion, and he's like 'they're both nice....whatever.... they're just dresses.'
He could barely even tell the difference between the two dresses.

I would try to sit him down and explain that maybe your girls won't be comfortable with him there while they're trying on dresses. Maybe show him styles that you like and get his opinions. But I really don't think he should be there when your girls are trying them on. That's a girl thing!
MrsCM Posted:

Re: Weird FH wants a say in EVERYTHING

Groomzilla!

I think it's cute that he wants to be involved but that's a little odd IMO about the BM dresses. Maybe he's afraid they'll pick something inappropriate and wants to give a seal of approval.
08JulyBride Posted:

Re: Weird FH wants a say in EVERYTHING

I think it's nice he wants to be involved, but don't think he really needs to be involved in BM dresses...
MikesBride2B Posted:

Re: Weird FH wants a say in EVERYTHING

FH started out this way...I told him I wanted tea length dresses for the girls and he flipped because he said they'd be TOO CASUAL...that they'd look just like any other guest.

I just explained to him my reasoning behind it...you can't look like another guest if you're wearing the same dress as 2 other girls, its an afternoon wedding so its not like its gonna be a black tie affair, etc...

Moral of the story is we ended up going with long dresses, but only because its what I wanted haha.


What I would do is sit him down and say what I said to my over-involved FH: I love you, but you gotta understand that I've been dreaming of this wedding my whole life and I have a lot of ideas of how I want it to go. Do you really want to be involved with EVERY aspect or are there some things that really stick out to you as being important??' When it came down to it he chose the things that were very important to him and these are the things we're doing together. I still pass every decision by him, but mostly he likes the things I pick or I can explain why it is that I chose them and he understands.

I did not mean for this to be soooooo long...I hope it helps!
Becca2010 Posted:

Re: Weird FH wants a say in EVERYTHING

It definitely does!

Thanks to everyone for your input! It was all greatly appreciated and very helpful!!
bride2bebe Posted:

Re: Weird FH wants a say in EVERYTHING

My FH is the same way- and all I have to say is I'm sorry! Be prepared for a lot of arguments!

My advice to you is to exhaust him to the point where he doesn't care anymore (about the things he should let you do) like bridesmaid dresses and flowers etc etc....

Act all undecisive and keep going places with him- like bring him to 'just look' at stuff you want to register for...I promise you after 2 hours of that he'll be running out the store.

For the BM dresses- bring him with you to Bridal Reflections in Carle Place and they wont let him past the front- he he

Eventually- he will let up and see that this girl time is important to you and it makes you happy. I'm sure he agrees that it will bring you greater pleasure to pick out a dress than it will him...

Exhaust him and overwhelm him with wedding stuff- thats what I did. My FH has found his median and now he's okay with the stuff I want because he sees there is a lot of work involved.
Becca2010 Posted:

Re: Weird FH wants a say in EVERYTHING


Posted by bride2bebe

My FH is the same way- and all I have to say is I'm sorry! Be prepared for a lot of arguments!

My advice to you is to exhaust him to the point where he doesn't care anymore (about the things he should let you do) like bridesmaid dresses and flowers etc etc....

Act all undecisive and keep going places with him- like bring him to 'just look' at stuff you want to register for...I promise you after 2 hours of that he'll be running out the store.

For the BM dresses- bring him with you to Bridal Reflections in Carle Place and they wont let him past the front- he he

Eventually- he will let up and see that this girl time is important to you and it makes you happy. I'm sure he agrees that it will bring you greater pleasure to pick out a dress than it will him...

Exhaust him and overwhelm him with wedding stuff- thats what I did. My FH has found his median and now he's okay with the stuff I want because he sees there is a lot of work involved.



This is such devious and great advice! Love it! My only problem is that the process might exhaust me more than him! So bridal reflections won't let him in?? Now THERE'S an idea...
bride2bebe Posted:

Re: Weird FH wants a say in EVERYTHING

Nope- they won't let him in...just bring him places where he feels outcasted and he begins to see that it's not his place!

It is devious but- it's not as bad as the control binge they go off on!

My FH- changed his blackberry messenger name to 'The Groom' so I went in and changed it to 'The Groomzilla-hear me roar!' lol...

Sometimes- they need a reality check and to be brought back down to earth!

Exhaust away- it's so worth it!

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