Well, it's offical we are postponing the wedding.

I've been having doubts for awhile. And not just cold feet. Fi and have a lot of issues we need to straighten out. We have a 15 month old beautiful son, which makes this even harder. We are planning to postpone for 1 year. In the mean time I have started seeing a psychologist and FI will be going as well. I really want us to have a strong marriage based on love, not need. And right now I don't know which one I feel more,and I don't think that's a way to go into a marriage. It was/is a very hard and sad decision for me. But I truly believe it was the right one. FI agrees that it's probably is for the best, but he is very upset about it. And so am I, when I went to WM the other day to discuss postponing I was in tears, our room ws all set up for a wedding it was heartwrenching. I truly hope that we can work through our problems together and form an even stronger bond with eachother. Nothing would make me happier than for us to get married and have a wonderful and fufilling marriage. FI is a wonderful man, and I pray for everyone's sake that we can work things out. I probably will not be posting as much, but I'm sure I'll be lurking. Thank you all for your advice and support. Hopefully in a few months my planning will be back on and I'll need your help again. Thanks for everything. And Good luck, and God Bless you all.
Andrea

It sounds like you made a very intellgent decision, as difficult as it is. I wish you all the best and hope to see you back here planning when the time is right.

Good for you! It takes a strong woman to make a decision like this. I'm so sorry you have to postpone, but I believe you are doing the right thing, especially with a child involved. Good luck to you, I hope it all works out and that all your dreams come true!

Andrea-hang in there girl. You are strong and brave and I admire you. Some would just go with the flow and deal with the bad stuff later. You are dealing with it head on. Sometimes you need to take a step back and look at the big picture. This is only a temporary set-back which will make you guys stronger in the long run. My good wishes are coming your way along with some hugs.

Oh, so sorry to hear that, but happy that you followed your heart. I hope that everything works out. We're always here if you need someone to talk to!!! Good Luck Sweety!!!

What a difficult decision to make. Such a smart one though. I can't imagine having to go through that. I hope everything works out for you both. It sounds like you both want to work things out. Good luck. If it's not too hard coming on here chatting with us please stay. If it is too hard we definitely understand.

stay strong, andrea--- things will work out for the best.

we'll be thinking of ya

Andrea,

You are a very strong and intelligent woman. I'm sure this was one of the hardest decisions you ever had to make, but if you had serious doubts/concerns you made the right move. FH & I were on the verge of getting engaged 2 years ago but we were fighting all the time & just not communicating and we ended up breaking up for 8 months. We stayed in touch during that time but ended up seeing other people. We found out way back to e/o last Sept. & have been so much stronger, we appreciate e/o so much more, let the little things go & our relationship is so much stronger. I see now if we had gotten engaged 2 years ago, it would have spelled disaster. We got engaged last March & things have been wonderful. I think you definitely know how you feel & where your heart is and I'm sure time and talking things out will help you make up your mind.

I'll keep you in my thoughts.

Cindy

Thank you all for your responses and support, I really appreciate it. Although I am sure that this is the right decision it is nice hear it from other brides to be. I might post from time to time because this is a very tough time for us. Thank you again.
Andrea

The fact that you're going to talk to someone and he's going to do the same is a VERY good sign!!! I think you 2 just need to get things out in the open with this professional and that will set things straight for you. You're very smart for doing things this way instead of waiting until after you're married, we're all very proud of you. And when you come back, you can join us on the 06 board!! We'd love to have you join the family!!

I'm so sorry, but I wish you all the luck in the world.

I read an interesting thing yesterday:

Every bride and groom has that wonderful glimmer of hope in their eyes when they say, “I do.”

Sadly only 25% will experience the marital bliss they look forward to.

50% will get divorced, often after raising a family, and another 25% will stay together despite having lost the feelings of love and caring.

What happened to this 75%?

How can you make sure your dream of a truly nurturing, satisfying marriage comes true?

Knowing what makes marriages fall apart, knowing what makes marriages work, and developing certain important skills, will go a long way toward realizing your dream.

One of the 7 Keys to having a lasting marriage that is full of joy can be summed up the following way:

• SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGES DON’T JUST HAPPEN!

One of the biggest mistakes people make is to assume that working on their marriage indicates weakness or deficiency.

That couldn’t be farther from the truth.

The skills required to enjoy the ‘magic’ of a great relationship are not imparted at birth or taught in school. Our parents did the best they could emulating their parents.

• PEOPLE TRULY SUCCESSFUL AT ANYTHING, APPLIED TIME AND ENERGY TO IT.

Not only is there no way around it, but the more time you invest in your relationship building the more you’ll get out of it. Romantic dinners, gifts, vacations, etc. are wonderful, but do not assist you to gain a deeper insight into you and your spouse’s needs.

One of the 7 Deadly Sins that will certainly undermine any marriage is:

• NOT KNOWING HOW TO EFFECTIVELY EXPRESS YOURSELF WHEN SOMETHING UPSETS YOU.

Because people know they are not effective communicating their upsets, they tend to either not say anything when they’re upset, instead they fume or withdraw, or they explode and over-react.

Knowing the 7 Keys to Happiness and the 7 Deadly Sins will equip you to build the marriage you deserve.


I guess what I am trying to say is that I commend you for realizing that a marriage takes work, it just doesn't HAPPEN. I hope everything works out for you, it seems like it will ,you seem to know how to handle this relationship.

Oh, I'm so sorry that you are guying through but so glad that you stood up for what you knew in your heart to be right. You two sound like extremely intelligent people who are going into this with your eyes wide open which sounds to me, like, if you find out at the end of all this that you couldn't be more in love with your FI, then you will have a more stronger and honest relationship. I'm sure its so hard right now but you put your relationship and your child first. Kudos to you!

I am sorry this is happening, but better to work on your issues now then later. Think how much stronger your marriage will be Good luck with everything

I truly commend you and wish you all the best. I am sure it was a very tough decision, but in the long run, it truly is the best. Marriage is a serious commitment and if you are having problems now, you can not assume they will just disappear when you say I do. You want to go into a marriage feeling confident and not having a zillion things to worry about. This truly will be the best thing for both of you!! I wish you lots of luck and hope everything works out for you, you FH and your baby.