I thought it would be awhile before we gave some serious consideration to having a baby, but the subject has been coming up alot lately. My question to you is:
Besides doing all the research into my employers FMLA policies, daycare centers, layettes, etc., what 'physical' things should I do to start planning? See a doctor/obgyn? Do fertility testing? Start a physical fitness routine? Take vitamins?
I don't know, it seems to me like I could prepare for our wedding alot better than I can for a future pregnancy. I have no idea/clue what I should be doing (beside the obvious )
Your expertise in this would be greatly appreciated ladies!
NovemberSue
Posted:
Member since
Re: We're seriously considering starting a family...
The only thing I know about getting ready is to start taking vitamins because folic acid is very important.
Claud2001
Posted:
Member since
Re: We're seriously considering starting a family...
Congratulations on a huge decision!!! I think a good start is seeing your OB/GYN for a general check-up and pap smear to make sure everything is normal. Speak to your doctor about your plans and ask him/her for some recommendations about taking better care of yourself.
I know a lot of women will say, 'take prenatal vitamins!' You can definitely do this - either with OTC prenatals, or a prescription from your OB. But, just remember that taking prenatals does not make it easier for you to conceive. The most important part of the prenatal vitamin is folic acid, which is *critical* in the early weeks of pregnancy to help a baby's central nervous system and brain develop.
Physically, if you want to start an excercise routine, this is a fantastic time to do it! Not only will you feel better overall, but you will start to get yourself in shape for the long pregnancy and the ordeal of labor and delivery, which can be very physically demanding on your body. Just make sure you don't start out doing too much too soon - especially if you haven't been working out recently. Take your time.
michele31
Posted:
Member since
Re: We're seriously considering starting a family...
Read the book Taking Control of Your Fertility OMG. I learned soooo much from this book. Folic Acid is a MUST. You do not need to do any Fertility Testing unless you KNOW that you have a problem. If you are just starting out there is NO need to assume that you will have a problem. Read the book and you will learn a lot about how your body works. I was amazed at the stuff I never knew.
shamma
Posted:
Member since
Re: We're seriously considering starting a family...
Shamee, I wish you and hubby all the best, it must be such a wonderful feeling to get to that point. Take care and keep us informed.
Elizabeth
Posted:
Member since
Re: We're seriously considering starting a family...
Congratulations on the decision. Here's a thought. When a baby is born the hospital draws blood and sends it to the NYS dept of health where they screen for a number of diseases that would be present at birth. They have now started screening pregnant women more thoroughly for some of these diseases so you will know if your baby has the potential to be carrying this disease. When my son was born (you may recall I posted on this) his newborn screening for cystic fibrosis came back abnormal. We went through a very scary 5 or 6 days until we got additional test done and confirmed that he was fine, however either me or my hubby could have been carriers and if we both were, we had a 25% chance of having a baby with CF.
So what we want to do BEFORE we have another is find out if we are carriers of this or any other type of hereditary disease. I think doing it before would be helpful b/c the other tests screen after your pregnant or after the baby is born. Maybe you can speak to your ob/gyn about pre-pregnancy testing. Alot of times they don't do it as a matter of course unless there's a family history but after our scare we really want to do it. God forbid there is something, we can make an informed decision, depending on the disease of course.
Hopefully this didn't sound too depressing or put a scare in you about the idea of having a baby which is a beautiful thing. Again, your ob/gyn is the best person to ask more questions. Thank God most babies are born healthy Good luck!!!!
JennRenee
Posted:
Member since
Re: We're seriously considering starting a family...
How exciting for you! Good luck, and HAVE FUN!
allure
Posted:
Member since
Re: We're seriously considering starting a family...
Lots of luck for a new beginning in your lives
Claud2001
Posted:
Member since
Re: We're seriously considering starting a family...
I started reading this book about 2 months before I became pregnant, and actually *never* had the chance to test any of its methods...I guess the power of suggestion helped, in my case. LOL!
Diane
Posted:
Member since
Re: We're seriously considering starting a family...
That is great news!!!!!! Good Luck, and keep us informed
Shamee
Posted:
Member since
Re: We're seriously considering starting a family...
Thank you ladies for the information and support. The reason the whole subject is being approached is because I've been feeling under the weather and I'm almost two weeks late. I took a home test but it was inconclusive (the line should have been blue, but it was sort of purple-ish), so I'm off to the doctors tomorrow night to find out for sure. I just looked into daycare and holy cow - $810 a month! Where am I going to pull that sort of cash from (considering I will HAVE to work after the baby is born)?!? We talked candidly last night about the situation and he said he'd be delighted if I was, but I'm the one that's on the fence, when I consider the cost, the in-law situation that never improves (we had more drama from them this past weekend), etc. I don't think I would be disappointed, but I can't say I'd be thrilled either. I feel very out of sorts
Shamee
Posted:
Member since
Re: We're seriously considering starting a family...
I went to the OBGYN and I'm not pregnant. Sort of relief (for now). I haven't been 'regular' since I stopped taking the pill several months ago, but I've never been this late.
Anyways, I'm heading off to a GP next week to get on a fitness program and look into what I can do to 'get prepared'. I figured by next spring, we'll be moving forward with the family planning activities.
Thanks ladies!
michele31
Posted:
Member since
Re: We're seriously considering starting a family...
This might be unwanted advise but I truly believe that you need to get your in-law situation under control before having a chld involved. It will most likely only get worse and more stressful for you after a baby is born. And daycare is really expensive but you do have additional tax breaks after a baby so that might help. There are many articles on figuing out if working will COST you money rather than staying home full-time. You might want to start to read those and that will help with your financial stress (a bit). Also, read Taking Control of Your Fertility. The book taught me a lot about my body and this whole process. I highly recommend it.
shamma
Posted:
Member since
Re: We're seriously considering starting a family...
All the best to you and hubby Shamee, when it happens I am sure you will be so ready and so, so happy. Nothing happens before the time. Take care of yourself
Shamee
Posted:
Member since
Re: We're seriously considering starting a family...
Michele - that's why I wasn't excited in the 1st place, because of the inlaw situation. But then my husband told me 'Why should we have to put our lives and dreams on hold because of them?' and he's right. The situation is never going to improve but does that mean we don't qualify to be parents, because his family is a pack of idiots? I don't think so. Besides, my family is supportive and wonderful and our children will never miss what they don't have (a relationship with any of them) and he supports that decision 100%.
Elizabeth
Posted:
Member since
Re: We're seriously considering starting a family...
I agree with your hubby. Getting your in laws 'under control' may be a neverending task and, really, can we control other people? LOL, We can't!! Keep the focus on you & DH and you will manage the rest.
Good luck.
Shamee
Posted:
Member since
Re: We're seriously considering starting a family...
Thanks Elizabeth!
Claud2001
Posted:
Member since
Re: We're seriously considering starting a family...
Sharon, I agree with your hubby and Elizabeth. None of us can 'control' our in-laws! But, it sounds like you and DH have figured a way to handle your individual situation and make the best of your lives together. I think the most important things is that your DH has begun to support YOU more, and that's really what's most important to your life and your future children!
michele31
Posted:
Member since
Re: We're seriously considering starting a family...
Of course you shouldn't put your dreams on hold. What I meant, was dealing with the situation and figuring out how you will handle it once a baby is involved. It is more about how you will control the situation, not them. Does that make any sense? I would just hate to see them upset you your entire pregnancy and then after. As long as you and DH are in synch with the situation that is all that matters. baby dust to you~~~~~~~~~~
phyl
Posted:
Member since
Re: We're seriously considering starting a family...
first of all congrats! Second- after reading what your hubby had to say regarding the inlaws- who r HIS family- I think he is right. MAYBE the baby MAY swing someone- but dont completely count on it. If you are 100% confident that ALL u need is the support of your hubby and your family THEN GO FOR IT...and don't look back or spend any time regretting how your inlaws behave.
If it wasn't for MY inlaws- and maybe 2 or 3 family members- I think I would have gone NUTS a long time ago. My 'family' has more often than not let me down time and time again since my parents passed..and we are talking 1989 now...so its 14 years...and I haven't had them step into bklyn since then- let alone come see us in Long Beach the last 3 years.
They have one last chance- 4/6 when we have our baptism/blessing ceremony for Julianne. If they come then they will be relegated to 'XMAScard cousins'. If they dont- then I can finally say to myself I am walking away from you...and it is YOUR LOSS.
Congrats again Shamme-! -Set up an appt with your ob-gyn. Talk to them about genetic testing. -Take pre natal vitamins -cut down on caffiene- -Start and exercise prg- but I th ink u already work out, no? -READ as much as you can -SAVE $$$- Daycare is going to cost us $1100 a MONTH!!!! ...and unfortunetly the ctr we are interested in does not have an opening until JULY!...and I go back to work mid march...so I am scrambling to find something that I feel comfortable with.
