what do i do ????

this weekend my fiance and i were talking about our wedding...he suggested that we cancel our hall and have a small wedding elsewhere or a destination wedding ( something he's always wanted to do) but my dream is to have a big wedding..He's definitely thinking more logically than i am because we would save a lot of money but i also am worried about losing money from canceling the hall...and not only that where do i go? everywhere on staten island is the same price as what i am paying now and i really do not want to travel too far ...i am very upset and hoping that someone can help me ...

well i dont know if i can help you BUT

i went through the same thing - we had booked the hall and church and FH wanted to skip all that and get married in Key West - save money and buy a house

while my brain COMPLETELY understands that - i could never ever compromise my wedding - i know that his ideas matter too but - i bet he hasnt been planning his wedding in his head since he was born - and i have!

so basically i told him i wish i could be 'that kind of girl' but i am way too traditional, i want a church wedding PLUS it would be a hardship on my family to get there

a compromise could include: having a small wedding ( some brides on here are having about 50 people), having it in the winter, during the week, on a sunday, in the day. . . .and only getting the essentials - maybe asking friends to help out with photo, video etc - not doing favors - there are so many ways to save. . .

if you book your hall for a different - less expensive day - than you won't lose the deposit!

if you want the more traditional wedding - i dont think this is something that you can just give up . . . that is just my opinion though

im sorry
good luck!

FH and I were thinking about a destination wedding also. We agreed that it might be cheaper to go away but it actually is not as cheap as you think. We wanted to pay for the flights and hotel for family members and bridal party, plus the cost of a wedding at a hotel. It ended up costing just as much as some of our friends weddings who had them in LI.

I would rather have a traditional wedding at home anyway, so it worked out better for me but now, we are looking into ways to cutting cost for a wedding here. For example, I have always pictured my flowers to be a million roses everywhere, but i know that i can't do that with our budget so we are looking at less expensive flowers to mix in to the centerpieces and bouqets to make flowers cheaper.

I think if you cut corners in some areas, you can have a big wedding you wanted that is not going to be too expensive
Hope this helped

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Posted by ant n tilde

a compromise could include: having a small wedding ( some brides on here are having about 50 people), having it in the winter, during the week, on a sunday, in the day. . . .and only getting the essentials - maybe asking friends to help out with photo, video etc - not doing favors - there are so many ways to save. . .

if you book your hall for a different - less expensive day - than you won't lose the deposit!

if you want the more traditional wedding - i dont think this is something that you can just give up . . . that is just my opinion though

im sorry
good luck!

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I agree those are great ideas!

I think ant n tilde put it all perfectly!!!

It's kinda funny because just the other day my future FI was saying that if my mom were to offer the money she would spend on a wedding as down payment for a house, we would have to give up the wedding. In my head I know that is the logical reasonable thing to do, but it would be hard to let go of all the dreams of the traditional wedding in a church and being the princess for a day. After telling him that he said we would still have a wedding just cheaper.

I think if you two sit down and decide what is most important to both of you, and where you can meet in the middle on things, more options will pop up than you realized you ever had!!!

i think you should find out the laws in staten island concerning contracts and hall cancellations. every county is different.

remember, if he truly does NOT want a big wedding--and is asking you compromise with him by having a DW or small wedding, it's not fair to push the big affair on him. he could easily just say 'i don't want a wedding at all, let's go JOP' but he's trying to bring you down from a huge thing to something more realistic. i'm assuming this may also be for budget reasons. you don't want to turn bridezilla on him and say 'my day MY way!' or anything--cause that will push him away. or worse, he may just cave in to give you what you want and be absolutely miserable with it the entire time! i'm sure you wouldn't want that.

remember--the wedding is just ONE day...true we all want the fairytale--but just don't lose sight of the future. IMHO the wedding should be something that the two of you agree on. my FH and i have been planning our wedding for the past 1 1/2 yrs. and it's all been together. if there was anything that we weren't totally eye to eye on--we talked it over and compromised.

good luck in whatever you choose! and remember, he's not trying to crush your dreams...he's trying to make sure future ones can come true!!!