What do I do??? HELP!!! (LONG)

What do I do??? HELP!!! (LONG)

I am so upset... we might not be able to have our wedding??? My fiance and I are paying for most of the wedding ourselves and my parents were paying for some of the wedding. The problem is that we relocated to a different part of NC so I can go to school. During that time we got engaged, so I planned on going back to work fulltime this past August, so we can save money towards our wedding next August. Well, school didn't work out and I withdrew early and I have been trying to find a job since May. I've actually been looking for a job all along, but couldn't take any because of school, and now that I'm not in school there are no jobs. So, the plan of us saving money isn't going to happen. We can't afford our bills now, on just my fiance' salary. That's problem #1. Now the second problem is that my mom just found out my dad will probably be getting laid off from work in 2 weeks. That means they probably won't have the money for us towards the wedding. They have bigger problems, but this is one of them. My fiance and I have been together for over 8 eight years, since we were 15. We've been planning this wedding since February of this year. Even before we got engaged. We've already booked our reception, ceremony, priest, DJ, Photographer and Video. We were planning to come up there in December to do the rest. Now we might not be. This wedding has been a dream of mine since I was little. Nothing seems to go right for us. Sorry so long... just needed to vent.

What do I do??? HELP!!! (LONG)

Melissa-

Believe it or not you have options. It probably doesn't feel like it but you do. One I hope everything job wise works out for you and your family.

Check in with the catering hall and vendors to see if you can move the date. That will give you extra time for planning and saving.

You can also scale down the wedding to be at a restaurant provided you can get there is time to pull out of your catering hall contract.

Hope it all works out.

I agree with Nicola

Maybe you can postpone the wedding! I'm sure you can work out a date that agrees with all your vendors and you shouldn't lose any money either.
Good Luck and you are in our thoughts!

I agree with Nicola

You should move your date to 2003 or 2004. It might seem like forever but it goes by very quickly. Or if being married is what you really want, scale down and have a very elegant, intimate wedding. Speak to the vendors and explain the job situation. Many of them will understand and possible scale back their services to meet your needs or let you out of the contract.
Good Luck!!!

I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY!!!

Hi Melissa,
I can empathize - I was laid off in May from a technology company. Although my situation is a little different, I understand the stress. I've been looking for a job since May to no avail....I'm getting frustrated. I'm giving it one more month before I scrap the f/t job hunt and start temping. Have you checked out the temp market by you? Sometimes this is a good angle for marketing yourself to a company. Good luck - just know - it's not you!!!

options...

1. if you are going to go back to school - take out a loan - thats what they are for and the interest rates are great right now (not like when I took mine out :(...but thats how I was able to live and work and go to graduate school)
2. if I did my math correctly, you seem young still and there is plenty of time...I know dating for so long, it seems logical to get married now, but waiting another year isn't so bad...i was just talking to a college friend who has been dating her bf since college - 8 years - and she just finished PA school and now hes going for his MBA and they are waiting.
3. If you don't want to wait - and I know its hard, you could go to Vegas or city hall, get married (on the day you picked) and have a celebration party at a hall a year later...my friend eloped and then had a party a few months later.

hope this helped

What do I do??? HELP!!! (LONG)

Not that I'm suggesting you get into more debt than you already are, but if you are DETERMINED to have this wedding, at the cost it currently is, then there is always the option of obtaining a loan to pay for it. That's what my husband and I did for a portion of the wedding costs. You'll find that you can repay a large portion of the loan with the wedding gifts. Good luck.

Go into debt for your wedding? Bad advice!!

I think it`s a terrible idea to take out a loan to have a one day event, even if it is your wedding. Especially when you are sais that you are currently having trouble finding a job. There is some other advice that is given here about postponing or scaling back to something smaller that may be workable but to pay for your wedding with the wedding gifts is NOT sound advice. (sorry LaurenDM) I feel for your situation because we all envision our wedding day to be a certain way but living within your means is much saner behavior. Hang in there, it will all work out. Whether it ends up being the 'wedding of your dreams' or not, you will be marrying the man you love and nothing is more beautiful than that. Good luck.

My advice was personal...

I don't think it was kind of you to say that I gave her 'bad advice'. I don't think that you can put a value on her priorities. I, too, wanted my dream wedding, and was willing to go into some debt for it - my husband and I were paying for it ourselves, and did not have the luxury of having relatives who could afford it, and we didn't have a huge savings. But, we did have a large enough income and upcoming bonuses, and we took the risk. We were very happy with our decision, and I don't think it was right of you to judge. And, if you recall, I did preface my posting with a caveat that I wasn't encouraging her to go into debt, but if she had her heart set on it, this was another way she could achieve it. It was my personal opinion.

My advice was personal...

I didn`t mean it unkindly, more as (what I felt was) a logical response to suggesting someone who is saying they don`t have a job or hopes of one in the near future take out a loan and repay it with the money that may be received from wedding gifts. However, you are correct in the fact that I do not have a right to judge (and didn`t really mean to sound so judgemental), each person does have a right to do whatever they choose for themselves and what they`re comfortable with is all that matters in the situation. I wish everyone well in whatever they choose :o) I know for us, it felt good that we didn`t go above and beyond what we could afford so whatever money gifts we received went into our savings account rather than our checking account. So in that respect, my post was personal too...