What do I do? UPDATED

Charly Posted: Oct 11, 2004 09:14 AM

What do I do? UPDATED

I'm sure this happens all the time....

I invited my Aunt with a guest (she is a widow) and her 3 children (all teens) - the deal was to be able to invite all my and FH's first cousins we had to invite all cousins without a guest (unless they are married or engaged)

She not only replied late, but said all of her kids are bringing guests!!! We are paying for this wedding outselves and don't have the money for kids to be bringing guests.

I think that's totally rude. Should I say something?

Help

UPDATE:
I took everyone's advice and called my aunt. She said that she was very insulted that I originally did not invite her kids with guests. She said they are all seriously involved . I specifically called and spoke to her prior to sending out the invites. Whatever - I think its totally unfair, but I will do what I have to in order to keep the peace!

Thanks for your advice!! I'm glad I understand now!

Boop2704 Posted: Oct 11, 2004 09:16 AM

Re: What do I do?

How old are the kids??? Oops, didn't see the parenthesis. Young teens? Who could they possibly be bringing? I would call her. Maybe she mis interpreted the invitation. Its not a kiddie partie, its a wedding. Tell her she was invited with a guest, not the kids!!

CaCRmr Posted: Oct 11, 2004 09:17 AM

Re: What do I do?

I would tell her that her children were not invited with a guest. Only she was. If she says well since I'm not bringing one can they, you'll have to tell her that you can't add anymore people to your list because the room can't hold anymore. You can make up something like that. Especially if you're paying for the wedding then tell her that. I hope she understands.

bluesashbride Posted: Oct 11, 2004 09:20 AM

Re: What do I do?

If you can't afford for them to bring guests then you probably have to say something. Its un unpleasant task but I would just call or see her and explain that its not personal, just financial, since you are paying for the wedding. Hopefully if you think carefully about how to say it and do it directly to her not through another family member the result will be understanding and not animosity.

Sidenote: I think its rather generous of you to even have the teenagers there since you are paying for the wedding..

MrsJ Posted: Oct 11, 2004 09:22 AM

Re: What do I do?

I would explain to her, no guests. It's really rude to assume it's OK to add more people on the invite. I havent had that happen yet but if I do, I will just tell them no way. We're paying for the wedding ourselves too...it's just too much $!

leighdvm Posted: Oct 11, 2004 09:24 AM

Re: What do I do?

Wow, that's a tough one. I would do as the others suggested and, very nicely, just say that since you are paying for the wedding, unfortunately the guest list has to be limited. Hopefully, she will be understanding about it. If not, what can you do? You only have so much money!!

TracyInQueens Posted: Oct 11, 2004 09:34 AM

Re: What do I do?

The protocol for inviting people with guests is usually 18. I don't know if mentioning that will help you or not.

Good luck!

FLaCaTaCa Posted: Oct 11, 2004 09:35 AM

Re: What do I do?

I think it is very generous of you to invite the 3 kids to begin with. Maybe she didn't know so I would mention it as a matter of fact type thing.

DebMaher Posted: Oct 11, 2004 09:38 AM

Re: What do I do?

I would call and simply state that arrangements have been finalized with the caterer and cannot be changed at this time. She will potentially be mad but truly, she is in the wrong. You do not invite extra guests for anyone, much less your kids.

jvs77 Posted: Oct 11, 2004 09:45 AM

Re: What do I do?

Ugh - sorry you have to deal with this.

I think it's rather unusual for young teens to bring guests (especially when they weren't invited with one!).

I would kindly explain to her that you are so happy that she and her three children came come. It means so much to you to have them there, sharing in your day. (Start off with a positive.)

Then you can explain that you're sure it was an honest mistake, but just she was invited with a guest, not the children. You can say that none of the other younger children were invited with guests, and that it would be unfair to them if her children each brought someone. You could also say that your budget, and/or space is limited. And before she has time to reply, thank her SO much for understanding, you really appreciate it. Hopefully, that will work!

Or, maybe you could even have your mom or dad speak to her, depending on who she's related to.

Good luck!

ChristineC68 Posted: Oct 11, 2004 09:50 AM

Re: What do I do?

I think you should say something - it was rude of her to add on guests do please don't worry about upsetting her or her kids when you call to explain the situation.

Charly Posted: Oct 11, 2004 03:42 PM

Re: What do I do? UPDATED

Thank you all.

I called...they are coming. They all apparently got engaged since the invites went out

wc0143 Posted: Oct 11, 2004 03:44 PM

Re: What do I do? UPDATED

Posted by Oct04Bride

Thank you all.

I called...they are coming. They all apparently got engaged since the invites went out

A trio of engaged teenagers???

DebMaher Posted: Oct 11, 2004 03:46 PM

Re: What do I do? UPDATED

Um, is your wedding in the deep south? (JUST A JOKE TO SOUTHERN FOLKS)

TwoBugs Posted: Oct 11, 2004 03:47 PM

Re: What do I do? UPDATED

All three of her teenage children got engaged within months of each other??? Wow, she is going to be very busy (and very broke) this year....

Charly Posted: Oct 11, 2004 03:56 PM

Re: What do I do? UPDATED

Posted by TwoBugs

All three of her teenage children got engaged within months of each other??? Wow, she is going to be very busy (and very broke) this year....

It just can't be true! My dad called her - and he said just let it be. They have become extremely disfunctional since their dad died = young girls dating the wrong boys...sad